Chapter 25

The poor Little Doctor Li had been bullied by the unscrupulous patient for so long that his lips ended up swollen. He pressed both hands against Su Xingchuan's shoulders and said huffily, 'Are you crazy?'

Su Xingchuan pinched his butt. 'Still talking nonsense?'

Li Xuan was very angry. 'I was just telling the truth. You're so petty!'

Su Xingchuan raised an eyebrow. 'I'm petty?'

Li Xuan keenly sensed the danger. He sniffled and backed down. 'I won't say it anymore.'

Su Xingchuan couldn't help laughing. He wiped the corner of Li Xuan's mouth with his thumb, and after a moment still apologized. 'It was me who was petty. How could I doubt Little Doctor Li's medical skills? Little Doctor Li told me to wait a month, so I can only wait a month, without holding resentment.'

Li Xuan snorted.

Although Su Xingchuan felt that male dignity was important, it still couldn't compare to moments of intimacy with Li Xuan. He decided not to dwell on it. 'I'll go clean the bathtub and let you take a bath, okay?'

Li Xuan reluctantly forgave him.

Su Xingchuan went into the bathroom to prepare, while Li Xuan toured his home alone, as if inspecting his own territory.

Last time he only had a quick glance, and hadn't had time to seriously observe the furnishings of Su Xingchuan's home.

Su Xingchuan was a bit of a neat freak, and the furniture was mainly white, so the whole house looked spotless. Li Xuan walked to the living room. On the coffee table, a pile of documents and materials were stacked, some opened halfway. It was obvious that he was usually very busy with work. Li Xuan looked up and suddenly saw a ceramic kitten in a little cabinet above the liquor cabinet.

To be precise, it was a ceramic kitten that had been broken and mended.

He walked over and picked it up.

The repair was crude, utterly without beauty.

One ear was even missing a corner.

When Su Xingchuan came out, he saw Li Xuan holding the kitten and scrutinizing it. He hugged him from behind and confessed honestly, 'Because I misunderstood the relationship between you and your uncle, after you left that day, I smashed the kitten in a fit of anger. The next day I felt heartbroken, so I bought glue and pieced it back together bit by bit, hoping the kitten wouldn't be angry.'

Li Xuan traced the ceramic cracks with his fingertip.

'The kitten says, fine, it forgives you.'

Forgive the biased mother, forgive the cowardly self, and also, forgive the seven years of each clinging to pride and suffering in silence...

The kitten was covered in cracks, and Li Xuan carefully touched them with his hand.

Su Xingchuan chuckled softly, 'Don't touch it, you might get pricked.'

'Did your mother not call you?'

Su Xingchuan also felt puzzled. 'Normally she should have called. I don't know what happened, but I haven't gotten a single call this afternoon.'

Li Xuan was a little worried.

Su Xingchuan soothingly kissed Li Xuan's ear. 'It's too late today. I'll call them tomorrow morning, don't be scared.'

Li Xuan carefully placed the kitten back in its original spot.

He went into the bathroom and took off his clothes. Su Xingchuan brought his own pajamas over and saw him standing by the bathtub, revealing two bare legs that were slender and well-proportioned but not skinny. He was hesitating about where to put the clothes he had taken off, and Su Xingchuan immediately walked over to take them.

Su Xingchuan was still fully dressed, while he himself was completely bare. Li Xuan felt shy at first, but not long after, he had little psychological burden, after all they had been bare before seven years ago. He sat down in the bathtub and sighed comfortably.

All the grievances, anxiety, and unease since their reunion were instantly submerged by the water. Li Xuan turned his head and saw Su Xingchuan bring a small wooden stool from the living room, then sit next to him.

Su Xingchuan asked, 'Is the temperature okay?'

Li Xuan gazed at him steadily.

Somehow, the two of them started kissing again.

As if they could never kiss enough.

Su Xingchuan said, 'Back then, I didn't have enough living expenses, and taking you to a hotel that cost three hundred a night made me feel like I was shortchanging you.'

But Li Xuan shook his head. He didn't understand why Su Xingchuan had such heavy thoughts. Leaning on Su Xingchuan's shoulder, he said, 'But I was so happy then, happy every single day.'

He really was happy.

Seven years ago, Su Xingchuan took Li Xuan to a hotel for the first time.

Both of them were very inexperienced. Su Xingchuan fumbled with the check-in procedures for quite a while. When he pulled Li Xuan into the elevator, Li Xuan suddenly threw himself into his arms, looking up at him eagerly.

Su Xingchuan smiled and asked, 'What's wrong?'

Li Xuan stood on tiptoe and kissed him.

Time stopped for a second.

Su Xingchuan's Adam's apple bobbed, and he said helplessly, 'You really—'

Really was going to be the death of him.

After entering the room, Su Xingchuan took out the cleaning tools he had prepared in advance from his bag, acting calm but actually his heart was in turmoil. He stammered, 'You, you go use this?'

Li Xuan said, 'I don't know how.'

Su Xingchuan froze. 'Huh?'

Seeing that Li Xuan had been expressing love and flirting, he thought Li Xuan knew a lot about that kind of thing between two guys, but it turned out Li Xuan knew nothing. Su Xingchuan was embarrassed, but Li Xuan seriously took out his phone. 'I don't know how. I'll go online and learn.'

Five minutes later, the two were sitting together on the edge of the bed watching a video.

As they watched, the atmosphere changed. Li Xuan saw Su Xingchuan staring intently at the person on the screen with a serious expression, and jealousy immediately surged up. He tossed the phone aside and pounced on Su Xingchuan, pushing him down onto the bed.

Su Xingchuan supported his waist. 'What is it now, little ancestor?'

'You can't be interested in this kind of video!'

'I've already been bent by you—'

Li Xuan bit him. 'Then you can only be interested in me! If you become interested in all guys once you're bent, then I'd be nothing special at all!'

Li Xuan was overbearing and willful at this moment. Su Xingchuan was often left speechless by his jealousy, but Li Xuan quickly felt he was being too fierce, so he put on a pitiful look, lay on Su Xingchuan's chest, and traced circles on Su Xingchuan's neck with his fingertip.

Reason told Su Xingchuan that he shouldn't indulge Li Xuan's little temper so much, but his reason was useless in front of Li Xuan.

In the end, he was the first to give in.

He held Li Xuan and said softly, 'I don't like boys, and I don't like girls. I only like you. Is that okay?'

Li Xuan was satisfied at last.

After finally finishing the preparations, they took a shower together. When they lay on the bed, Li Xuan was already getting sleepy, yawning one after another, but this time Su Xingchuan didn't let him sleep.

Li Xuan was delicate in daily life, but in bed he was fine.

Just that his tears never stopped flowing.

After Su Xingchuan finished, he had to spend a long time coaxing him.

'Su Xingchuan, what are you thinking about?'

Li Xuan's voice interrupted Su Xingchuan's reminiscence. He turned to look and saw Li Xuan scoop up a handful of water and splash it toward him, saying resentfully, 'You dared to zone out?'

Su Xingchuan came back to his senses. 'I was thinking about the past.'

Li Xuan stopped his actions, and after a moment suddenly glared at him. 'The current me isn't attractive?'

Su Xingchuan laughed in spite of himself. 'Where do all these jealousies come from, baby?'

Li Xuan turned his face away.

Su Xingchuan asked again, 'Let me wash your hair, okay?'

Li Xuan looked over lazily, with a smile hidden in his eyes, extremely proud and finicky. His skin was already fair, and now steamed by the moisture, it looked even fairer flushed with pink. His forehead hair was damp and lay softly, making his eyes look like black grapes soaked in water.

He tilted his head back, looking at Su Xingchuan upside down.

His eyes blinked, and the corner of his mouth quirked up slightly.

Su Xingchuan could no longer tell if Li Xuan was acting cute or what. He squeezed shampoo into his palm, rubbed it into foam, then applied it to Li Xuan's hair, tirelessly helping wash it. Li Xuan even directed him, 'Scratch the left, scratch the right.'

He closed his eyes comfortably.

In the period right after their breakup, Su Xingchuan was immersed in the pain of losing love and lost interest in everything around him.

To pull him out of it, Yu Qinglan dragged a few close friends to eat together. They surrounded Su Xingchuan and analyzed point by point Li Xuan's failures as a boyfriend.

'What did you get from this relationship? As bystanders, all we could see was your effort. You hovered around him like a nanny, even carrying his schoolbag for him. Come on! He's the same age as us, not a child!'

But in Su Xingchuan's eyes, Li Xuan was a child.

Taking care of Li Xuan was something he did willingly.

As with drinking water, only the drinker knows whether it's cold or warm.

Maybe that's just how feelings are.

Su Xingchuan had always felt that his relationship with his parents was very good. He was filial and sensible, his parents were loving and gentle, he didn't demand from them, and they didn't intrude on his life. It was a model parent-child relationship. But after meeting Li Xuan, he realized that he actually wanted someone to love him in a way that penetrated every part of his life, more intimate, more dependent, more understanding of him.

Only now did he realize that he didn't really understand his parents either.

He leaned down and kissed Li Xuan on the forehead. Li Xuan opened his eyes and pretended to be angry. 'What are you doing?'

Su Xingchuan said with a smile, 'Harassing Little Doctor Li a bit.'

'Little Doctor Li is going to push your stone back in.'

Su Xingchuan didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

'So cruel, Little Doctor Li.'

Li Xuan splashed another handful of water backward onto Su Xingchuan.

.

After the wash, Li Xuan went back to the room first to wait for Su Xingchuan. Not long after, Su Xingchuan came to bed with a body full of moisture.

Li Xuan was lying down reading the books by Su Xingchuan's bedside.

Su Xingchuan buried his face directly in Li Xuan's neck, nuzzling and burrowing. Li Xuan felt ticklish and had to put down the book.

He was wearing Su Xingchuan's pajamas, the sleeves and pants legs both a section too long. Su Xingchuan reached his hand inside to touch his slender wrist, and the touch gradually changed in nature. The other hand began to wander downward. Li Xuan reminded him, 'No, we have to wait until next month.'

'Then I won't get to eat Xuanxuan this year.'

He said it exaggeratedly, but in fact in three or four days it would be New Year's.

If he couldn't eat, he could only bite a little.

As a form of venting.

Late at night, Su Xingchuan wiped Li Xuan with a hot towel, then pulled him back into his arms. Li Xuan suddenly asked, 'Can you coax me to sleep like you used to?'

Su Xingchuan didn't understand. 'Like before?'

'Like how you used to coax me after we finished.'

Su Xingchuan suddenly narrowed his eyes and frowned, thought for a long while, then asked in a low voice, 'Are you humiliating me?'

'...No I'm not.'

Li Xuan rolled his eyes at him. 'You're really petty.'

It was just waiting half a month. Li Xuan didn't understand why Su Xingchuan cared so much, just like back then when he had cared so much about buying a big house so Li Xuan wouldn't have to sleep in hotels.

He looked at Su Xingchuan and was silent for a few seconds.

Then suddenly he understood again—it was probably still because of love.

'Idiot.' He burrowed into Su Xingchuan's embrace.

Su Xingchuan turned off the light, his arm wrapped around Li Xuan, the two leaning together. The night deepened, stars and moon dimmed. From the high-rise, they couldn't hear the sound of the distant road, but could vaguely hear the howling wind. The winter night wind was especially heavy.

As if afraid of the cold, Li Xuan placed his hand on Su Xingchuan's abs.

'Baby.'

Su Xingchuan suddenly spoke, and Li Xuan was stunned for a moment, then his ears quietly turned red.

Li Xuan had never told Su Xingchuan that what he looked forward to most each time wasn't getting a room, but the aftermath.

When the fleeting pleasure ended and endorphins began to fade, Su Xingchuan would wipe him down and then go to the bathroom. The sudden drop in body temperature would give Li Xuan a sense of insecurity. Fortunately, at that moment Su Xingchuan would come back in time and embrace Li Xuan again.

It was at this time that Li Xuan could most feel the meaning of being in love.

After their reunion seven years later, what Li Xuan still cherished in his heart was Su Xingchuan's call of 'baby'.

At twenty-seven, he really shouldn't use that pet name anymore.

He already had coworkers of the same age who had children, entering a new stage of life early. But Li Xuan's heart had always stayed at twenty, waiting for Su Xingchuan to come take him home.

Su Xingchuan wrapped his arm around Li Xuan's shoulders, squeezed his arm, then rubbed his waist, before holding him tight.

'A couple of years ago, I saw a saying online that if a person dreams of someone else three times in a row, it means their connection is over. I was so scared at the time.'

'I dreamed of you far more than three times.'

Li Xuan stared blankly at the button on Su Xingchuan's pajamas.

'For a while, I didn't even dare to sleep.'

'And then?'

'Then I dreamed of you again. In the dream, you said to me, Su Xingchuan, we're different from others. You have to dream of me a few more times, then we can reunite.'

Li Xuan buried his face in Su Xingchuan's shoulder.

'How come even after we separated you still bossed me around?'

Su Xingchuan patted his back.

'Because you like me.'

Su Xingchuan chuckled softly. 'Yeah, because I like you.'

His voice was very soft and gentle. Li Xuan soon felt sleepy. Su Xingchuan mimicked his tone: 'I like you so much.'

Li Xuan rested his head on Su Xingchuan's arm, his breathing gradually evening out.

The next day.

Since it was the weekend, Li Xuan slept until the sun was high in the sky.

Su Xingchuan had prepared breakfast and coaxed him twice before Li Xuan grudgingly sat up, his little face flushed from sleep, his hair messy, his eyes looking around blankly. Su Xingchuan sat down next to him.

'Amnesia?'

Li Xuan tilted his head to look at him.

Su Xingchuan smiled and said, 'Good morning, baby.'

Li Xuan was finally awakened. His eyes slowly brightened, and he crawled over to grant him a kiss.

Su Xingchuan was satisfied. He brought over Li Xuan's things. 'Your clothes and underwear have been washed and dried, so you can wear them directly.'

Li Xuan lazily extended his hand.

Clearly, he wanted Su Xingchuan to help him dress.

Su Xingchuan was naturally willing to help, but he grumbled, 'What will happen when I get old? Who will help you get dressed?'

Li Xuan pouted and deliberately said, 'Then I'll find a young handsome guy to take care of me.'

Su Xingchuan raised an eyebrow and didn't speak.

He helped Li Xuan put on the pants legs.

Li Xuan observed Su Xingchuan's expression and suddenly felt a bit nervous. Su Xingchuan seemed... unhappy.

He used to tease Su Xingchuan like this before, and Su Xingchuan would only kiss him as punishment. Why was he really angry now?

Could it be because he's not that capable now?

Probably. Su Xingchuan was no longer a twenty-year-old college guy. His self-esteem in that area was very fragile now.

Li Xuan wanted to say something, but he had no experience coaxing Su Xingchuan. He hooked Su Xingchuan's finger, and Su Xingchuan hooked his back, but still didn't speak.

Li Xuan suddenly panicked.