Twenty

There were times when Xu Ze could not tell — in front of Lu Heyang, he could not tell whether he was Xu Ze or Number 17.

Like this moment: he wore a baseball cap, the brim pulled very low, half his face buried in shadow, and he did not know who, in Lu Heyang's eyes, he was.

But whichever identity he wore, he could not refuse Lu Heyang.

Xu Ze got into the passenger seat. Once the door closed, the car fell silent — Lu Heyang had not turned on any music; he had even switched off the ambient lighting. The darkness gave Xu Ze a sense of safety; he figured Lu Heyang would not be able to see his face now — he had drunk far too much, and without his usual mask, it would be all too easy to give himself away.

Lu Heyang's fingertips tapped lightly against the steering wheel. Two seconds passed before he reminded Xu Ze: 'Seatbelt.'

'...' Xu Ze buckled up at once. After a moment's hesitation, he said, 'Thank you.'

His voice was rough and hoarse. Lu Heyang reached back, took a small bottle of mineral water from the fridge, loosened the cap, and handed it to Xu Ze.

Xu Ze took the water and thanked him again. He opened it and took a sip, and heard Lu Heyang ask: 'Did you drink a lot?'

'Mm.' Xu Ze nodded honestly. Now that his emotions had settled, the alcohol was surging back; he thought and thought, and still could not be sure what identity he was wearing in front of Lu Heyang at this moment.

Lu Heyang did not press him on why he had drunk so much; he simply started the car. 'Feeling unwell? Want to go to the hospital?'

Just flesh wounds — Xu Ze had long since grown used to them; a little endurance and they would pass. But he figured Lu Heyang must think his stomach was upset from the alcohol. Xu Ze said: 'I'm fine, no need for the hospital.'

'Mm.' Lu Heyang glanced at him. 'Where do you live?'

After some painful mental arithmetic, Xu Ze realised they were at least forty minutes from his home.

'It's a bit far,' he said. 'I won't trouble you — I'll... I'll take the metro back.'

Drunk as he was, Xu Ze's voice had gone a little indistinct. He remembered that last time Lu Heyang had passed through Old Town, he had learned that Xu Ze lived nearby — if Lu Heyang now thought the Alpha before him was Number 17, and Xu Ze gave that same address, the discrepancy might give him away.

But Xu Ze quickly dismissed the thought; Lu Heyang, he felt sure, would not remember that someone called Xu Ze lived in Old Town.

'Security won't let a drunk through the metro gates.' Lu Heyang tapped the LCD screen, opened the navigation page, and told Xu Ze: 'Say the name of your residential area to it.'

The alcohol had fully taken over Xu Ze's mind, and with it dulled the pain; his heart began to pound again. Xu Ze pressed the brim of his cap down a little further, then leaned toward the display, and — as though he were on a video call with someone — said, with great seriousness: 'Xin'an Residential Area.'

No response. Silence.

Xu Ze was a little bewildered; he looked up at Lu Heyang, but halfway through lifting his head he lowered it again, afraid Lu Heyang would see his face.

'Xin'an Residential Area.' Xu Ze faced the LCD screen once more, enunciating each syllable — his pronunciation could not have been more exact.

Still no response.

'It...' Xu Ze would never question whether He Wei's beloved car had malfunctioned, so he asked: 'Why isn't it answering me?'

Lu Heyang turned the wheel half a rotation, and only after the bend did he say: 'Sorry — forgot. You have to register your voiceprint first.'

The car had only three voiceprints registered: He Wei's, Gu Yunchi's, and his own.

Xu Ze nodded, and at the same time glanced quickly at Lu Heyang. A streetlight outside flashed past, and he saw that the corner of Lu Heyang's mouth carried a hint of a smile — not, it seemed, the expression of someone who was truly sorry.

'Xin'an Residential Area,' Lu Heyang said.

The system swiftly pulled up the route and began navigation.

Within five minutes, Xu Ze could no longer hold out; his head was swimming. He had been somewhat stiff and formal at first, sitting bolt upright with a gap between his back and the seat — but as the car glided steadily forward, his awareness began to blur and he leaned back. His back ached dully; drunkenness and exhaustion wove together, his eyelids drooping, his head bowed, nodding forward in slow increments, sinking into a doze.

He wanted very much to stay awake, but his body would not obey — like a warrior in heavy armour who has fought a brutal battle and finally reached a safe, quiet place, and so craves with particular intensity the chance to close his eyes and rest. Especially since the one sitting beside him was Lu Heyang — a person who would never hurt him.

A person he could trust absolutely.

Three minutes later, Xu Ze was leaning against the seat back, his head tilted, fast asleep.

Lu Heyang turned his head to look at him. A streetlight flashed past, illuminating the sliver of chin that showed beneath the cap's brim, and the bruised, blood-streaked corner of his mouth; the Alpha's neck was pale and smooth, faintly flushed under the influence of alcohol — utterly unguarded.

Xu Ze opened his eyes again and found the car stopped at the roadside, the driver's door closing slowly; Lu Heyang was fastening his seatbelt.

The half-dreaming state after drinking is the surest way to send one's IQ to zero; Xu Ze's reflexes had now bottomed out. With his eyes half-closed, he opened his mouth, wanting to ask something, but only managed a vague, mumbling sound.

Lu Heyang set a small bag on his lap. Xu Ze touched the packaging once and then had no more strength; he asked: 'What is it?'

'Anti-inflammatory medicine.'

Xu Ze stared blankly for a few more seconds before managing an 'Oh.'

'You were sleeping very soundly.' Lu Heyang asked, 'Aren't you afraid I'll sell you off?'

'Sell me where?' Xu Ze had no capacity for thought, so the question simply slipped out.

'I don't know — haven't decided yet.' There was laughter in Lu Heyang's voice.

Xu Ze was quiet for a moment, then suddenly asked: 'Who am I?'

He felt a strange, urgent need to know — in Lu Heyang's eyes, was the person sitting here now Xu Ze, or Number 17?

'What do you think?' Lu Heyang did not treat the strange, seemingly unmotivated question as the ramblings of a drunk. He reached out, his fingertips slipping beneath the brim of Xu Ze's cap, and — as if deliberately teasing him — lifted the cap up a centimetre, saying, 'If I see your face, I'll know.'

Xu Ze reacted at once on instinct, raising his hand to press down on his cap, his head bowing with it, his tone a touch urgent: 'Don't.'

'Why not.' Lu Heyang asked, looking not at all curious.

Xu Ze kept his hand over his head, muffled and low: 'I can't.'

Lu Heyang asked again: 'Why?'

'You still haven't told me who I am.' That was all Xu Ze could offer.

'If I say who you are, can you become that person?'

Xu Ze grew more confused, and nodded his confused assent.

'He Wei.' Lu Heyang called him.

An unexpected name. Xu Ze froze, not understanding what he meant.

'It's late. I'll take you home.' Lu Heyang smiled, said nothing more, and started the car.

Ten minutes later, the car stopped at the entrance to the residential area. No streetlights, no gate, no security booth — only, faintly visible some ten metres ahead, a few residential buildings, with scattered windows lit. Lu Heyang asked: 'Here?'

'Yes.'

Lu Heyang was about to drive in further when Xu Ze said: 'Just... stop here. There are a lot of stones on the ground — bad for the car.'

Fair enough — it was He Wei's beloved car, after all, and deserved a certain measure of care.

'Do you know which building is yours?'

'I do.' Xu Ze pointed to one of the buildings. 'There — the second one.'

'Mm.'

Xu Ze unbuckled his seatbelt, took the water and the medicine, opened the door, stepped out, turned back, and said to Lu Heyang: 'Thank you.'

'You're welcome.' Lu Heyang replied.

The door closed. Xu Ze walked a few steps to the side. Lu Heyang was just about to start the car when he suddenly saw Xu Ze bend forward — the gesture was so solemn it was almost as if he were about to bow deeply or kneel. Lu Heyang was reaching to unbuckle his seatbelt and get out when he saw Xu Ze bend down and pick up a small slip of paper from the ground.

It was the receipt for the anti-inflammatory medicine, fallen out of the bag.

Xu Ze lowered his head and carefully folded the receipt, putting it back in the bag. When he looked up again, he saw the car had not yet driven off; though he did not know whether Lu Heyang could see him, Xu Ze waved at him anyway.

Lu Heyang watched him for a brief moment, then started the car and drove away.

Only when the car's tail lights disappeared around the corner did Xu Ze slowly remove his cap. The moonlight was bright tonight; step by step, he walked into the residential area, back into the world that was his own.

He thought he must have been dreaming — and the length of the dream was the forty minutes Lu Heyang had spent driving him home.