Chapter 41

Xu Ze tried to open his eyes, but he had no strength, and didn't want to see the person in front of him, so he let it go. He couldn't feel much pain — only a faint burning on his arm — so he curled in on himself by instinct.

His consciousness was blurred. The only thing Xu Ze felt grateful for was that Lu Heyang and the others hadn't come to watch him fight today; otherwise they would have run into Tang Feiyi, and that would have caused Lu Heyang trouble.

And he'd ended up like this — too unsightly.

Tang Feiyi tossed the cigarette he'd extinguished on Xu Ze's arm to the ground and lit another. He exhaled a mouthful of smoke and said lightly, "Same thing as before — best not let me catch you splitting profits with someone else. I told you the rules here on your first day. The last fighter who tried it is already a cripple. You want to be the second?"

"..." Xu Ze struggled to part his lips. "I'm done fighting."

"What?" Tang Feiyi scoffed.

"I'm done fighting." Xu Ze's voice was terribly hoarse. He repeated himself.

"What — you think you've latched onto Gu Yunchi's people, and your wings have grown hard?" Tang Feiyi took a step closer, bent down and gripped his chin. "Xu Ze, since when do you have such sweet daydreams?"

"A man should know his place. Stay where you belong." Tang Feiyi spoke, drew on his cigarette; the ember flared bright. He aimed the tip at Xu Ze again, a reminder. "A rat from the gutter — you haven't even crawled ashore and you're already dreaming of taking flight. That won't do..."

The cigarette tip was about to sear Xu Ze's arm when the door scraped open with a groan. Tang Feiyi whipped his head around. "Who—"

The last syllable hadn't fallen when a foot kicked him in the shoulder, near the neck. Tang Feiyi slammed against the wall, cursed through the pain, and tried to rise and fight back — but a crisp mechanical sound came out of the darkness, like a switch being thrown, and his body froze mid-motion.

Lu Heyang crouched down and touched Xu Ze's face. His fingers came away wet and sticky. He turned his head — Tang Feiyi was standing stock-still, a pistol pressed to his temple.

"You again." Tang Feiyi stared at Lu Heyang. He couldn't make out Lu Heyang's face, but he could guess. Tang Feiyi laughed once. "The first time I saw you backstage, I thought you looked familiar, but I could never place it."

He made a troubled, considering sound. "Who exactly are you?"

Lu Heyang said, "Make him shut up."

The words were for the bodyguard. No sooner had they landed than the bodyguard shifted the gun aside and followed with an elbow strike to Tang Feiyi's head that knocked him out cold.

"Xu Ze." Lu Heyang's voice went soft. "Where does it hurt most?"

"Nowhere..." Xu Ze opened his eyes a sliver. He really didn't feel pain anywhere — only exhaustion. "It's so late. How did you... get here?"

Lu Heyang moved to help him up. His hand brushed Xu Ze's bare thigh and he realized Xu Ze was still wearing the skirt. Lu Heyang pulled his shirt off and draped it over Xu Ze, then slid an arm under the backs of his knees and lifted him, cradled against his chest.

The bodyguard holstered the gun. "Let me."

"No need. Is the car here?"

"At the side door."

Lu Heyang carried Xu Ze out of the stairwell and into the alley beyond the side door. The bodyguard pulled open the car door; Lu Heyang set Xu Ze in the back seat and reclined the seat back so he could lie half-down.

He noticed Xu Ze's hand patting at the seat cushion. "What's wrong?"

Xu Ze tried to sit up and look. "Did I dirty the car?"

"Don't move." Lu Heyang pressed his shoulder. "It's clean."

One bodyguard stayed to drive; the others got into the car Lu Heyang had arrived in. Before starting the engine, the driver angled the rearview mirror away so it wouldn't catch the back seat. Lu Heyang drew out a wet wipe, his fingertips settling lightly against Xu Ze's jaw, and one careful stroke at a time he wiped away the greasepaint and the filthy blood, until the face beneath was clean again.

Xu Ze lay with his eyes half-open, his gaze resting on Lu Heyang's face. So many of his wretched moments had been witnessed by Lu Heyang, and still he couldn't grow used to this kind of shame. Only — between them, perhaps every meeting was one fewer than the last, so while they could still meet, he wanted to look a few more times.

"Is your birthday coming up?" Xu Ze asked a question that had nothing to do with anything. His mouth was swollen; the words came out a little garbled.

Lu Heyang lifted his right hand. On the wrist were the marks of cigarette burns — four or five raw, bloody impressions layered over one another. Lu Heyang stared at the spot, expressionless, for a long moment. Then he looked up and smiled at Xu Ze. "Mm. Next Friday. Are you going to give me a gift?"

Xu Ze didn't answer. He had vaguely heard He Wei mention that Lu Heyang's birthday fell in some month, but hadn't expected it to be the beginning of one. Xu Ze began to think about what he could possibly afford to give — but Lu Heyang probably lacked nothing at all.

"If you're planning to spend money buying me a gift, then it isn't next Friday." Lu Heyang said.

"Mm?" Xu Ze looked at him, uncomprehending.

"Want to buy one?"

Because he wanted to know when Lu Heyang's birthday actually was, Xu Ze lied. He shook his head. "I'm not buying one."

"Mm." Lu Heyang smiled again. "My birthday is next Friday."

Xu Ze was baffled by him, staring blankly. Lu Heyang poked his cheek. "Go to sleep. I'll wake you when we get there."

He didn't ask where they were going, didn't ask what would happen. Xu Ze nodded, closed his eyes wearily, and fell asleep with an easy heart.

It was an evening ordinary beyond all ordinariness. Students of the same Preparatory Academy — some sat peacefully over their books and problems, some attended upper-class banquets, some drowned themselves in luxury and dissipation... and some fought a bloody boxing match in the smoke-choked Underground Club. Many different lives were running in parallel; summed up, they were nothing more than the difference between silks and bare fists.

Lu Heyang had never been able to feel that difference so sharply, so clearly, before.

All the way to the hospital, Xu Ze didn't wake. The doctor transferred him onto a gurney; Zhuo Yan had already arranged the examination procedures. When Xu Ze was wheeled off for the CT scan, Lu Heyang stood in the corridor and called Lin Yumian.

"Dad."

"So late — what happened?"

"Did I wake you?"

"No." Lin Yumian smiled. "I just came out of the studio."

"I wanted to ask — is Uncle Wen in the city right now?"

Lin Yumian didn't press. After a beat, he answered, "Whether he is or not, if you need him you can reach him anytime. I've told you before — Uncle Wen's people will work unconditionally for you and Qingmo."

"All right. I understand." Lu Heyang paused. "You're not going to ask what I'm planning to do?"

"If I remember right, this is the first time you've wanted to call on Uncle Wen — but I still won't ask. You're not an impulsive person."

"Mm. Good night."

After hanging up, Lu Heyang sent a text to a number in his contacts he'd never once used. Less than half a minute later, a call came back.

A steady, middle-aged voice: "Young master."

"Just call me Heyang." Lu Heyang raised his hand and looked at his own arm — smooth, clean, no mark on it.

"Uncle Wen, I want to ask a favor of you."

"Go ahead."

When Xu Ze woke, it was just past midnight. The whole ward held only the faint glow of the wall lamp by the bed.

"Only slept a little over an hour."

Xu Ze turned his head toward the voice and saw Lu Heyang sitting right at the bedside.

"Want some water?" Lu Heyang asked him.

"No..." His throat was terribly hoarse. Xu Ze shook his head.

"You were frowning the whole time you were sleeping. A nightmare?"

Xu Ze gazed at him steadily. The faint light bathed half of Lu Heyang's face, lending him a very particular gentleness and stillness — and giving Xu Ze the illusion that Lu Heyang was the one willing to listen to him tell his dreams.

"No nightmare." Xu Ze said. "I dreamed of Mom and Dad."

They were two faces that had grown very blurred. Xu Ze dreamed of them now and then, and for a short while after waking he would feel an urge to confide in someone — only he had never mentioned it to anyone. Ye Yunhua, Chi Jiahán — either of them. Xu Ze had thought he could go on enduring like this forever.

Lu Heyang watched Xu Ze in silence. He could sense that Xu Ze was, at this moment, in a drifting and fragile state — and he could feel that this always-silent Alpha had something he wanted to say, perhaps something he had never told anyone.

Xu Ze tucked his face a little further into the blanket, stared at the IV drip, and said quietly, "My dad used to be a criminal police officer. When I was seven, he went out on a mission and fell off a mountain."

"Not long after Dad died, Mom got sick. She wouldn't talk, and she wouldn't go out."

"Grandma came to take care of me. Grandma used to be a pastry chef — a lady would often invite her to her home to make pastries for her guests. After Mom got sick, every time Grandma went out, she took me with her."

It was around that time that Xu Ze met Lu Heyang.