Chapter 61

A six-inch cake for two is more than enough. Fei Bolin never cared for sweets or snacks, so after blowing out the candles he only took a couple polite bites. The rest of the whole cake became Wen Fu's dinner.

Wen Fu loved sweets, and this cake was genuinely good — two layers of filling inside, one fruit, one chocolate crunch. Couldn't get tired of it. Fei Bolin figured the weather was hot, the cake would go bad sitting out, and putting it in the fridge would make it taste like everything else, so he just let him eat it.

Four dishes sat on the table in front of them. Neither one picked up chopsticks.

Wen Fu had his head down demolishing cake. Fei Bolin propped his chin and watched him with a smile.

"Can you eat all that?"

"I can..." Wen Fu was too busy to lift his head. He barely squeezed out an answer for Fei Bolin, voice muffled — obviously his mouth was stuffed. "Want some, Bo-ge?"

Fei Bolin shook his head. Seeing Wen Fu hadn't looked up, he said, "I'm not eating. You go ahead."

Wen Fu eating was like a tornado passing through. Fei Bolin reminded him again and again to slow down. No effect.

Until the initial excitement and hunger wore off, Wen Fu was riding the edge of Fei Bolin's patience. He'd planned to slow down and take small bites just before Fei Bolin got rough with him — but Fei Bolin moved first.

Wen Fu's heart skipped. He figured he'd soon face the iron fist of justice — Fei Bolin grabbing him by the back of the neck and pulling him back, forcing him to chew each bite thirty times before letting him back to the table for the next one.

A long time ago, when Wen Fu couldn't break his habit of eating too fast, that's how Fei Bolin cured him.

Uncomfortable, but effective.

Thinking about it now, that was almost ten months ago.

Fei Bolin folded up his sleeve. Wen Fu glanced up, his back going stiff first. But his brain caught up before his mouth could stop — he saw Fei Bolin about to act, and he was still eating.

Even faster — conditioned reflex, trying to stuff in a few more bites before Fei Bolin caught him.

The next moment, the hand that should've reached for the back of Wen Fu's neck went for his pocket instead.

Wen Fu kept his head down working but was secretly watching Fei Bolin. He saw him pull out his phone, pull up the Conan episode Wen Fu had been most into lately, and set it in front of him.

This was Fei Bolin's newest strategy against Wen Fu eating too fast — use anime to distract him, make him watch while eating, drag out the meal.

For a six or seven-year-old, this method wouldn't be healthy. For a sixteen or seventeen-year-old Wen Fu, it was just right.

Wen Fu's head-down demolishing became head-down sweet demolishing.

Near the end of the cake, Wen Fu couldn't bear to let it go. He was scraping the cream off the edges of the box with his fork. Fei Bolin found it funny, half wanting to stop him, half helping him scrape with the included knife, feeding it to Wen Fu and asking, "That good?"

Wen Fu instinctively nodded first, then halfway through shook his head: "It's not that good."

He lifted his face from the cake plate, having learned to habitually grab a tissue and wipe his mouth first, mumbling an explanation: "Wasteful not to eat it."

Repeated: "It's not that good."

A cake like this once a year is enough. Wen Fu didn't want Fei Bolin to spend big money buying him another one on his birthday.

Whether Fei Bolin saw through his thinking or not, hearing this he just smiled and didn't speak.

This birthday, like summer, rushed by. The rising seniors got barely a week off before facing the new semester again.

They'd finally entered senior year.

Senior year always seemed miserable. Even when it wasn't, the atmosphere always got painted miserable by the teachers.

Wen Fu was always slow to pick up on the mood around him. He still went about each day the same as before — eating, studying, doing homework with Fei Bolin. His Chinese scores had steadily climbed to around 110 in a year — Wen Fu was pretty satisfied, but Fei Bolin clearly thought it wasn't enough.

After Wen Fu fully mastered the classical Chinese section, Fei Bolin's tutoring shifted to grammar on multiple choice. Wen Fu's language sense was poor — the biggest reason being he'd lacked communication growing up. And that was also the hardest thing to fix.

Fei Bolin's solution: brute force. Pile on practice problems. Train Wen Fu's conditioned reflex through massive exposure to question types. And in daily life, correct his grammar when he spoke.

Like one day after this, Fei Bolin got a whim. After Wen Fu finished dinner, he suddenly asked: "Is the food I made good?"

Wen Fu said: "Good."

Fei Bolin: "Wrong."

Wen Fu: ?

Fei Bolin: "What's the complete way to say this sentence?"

Wen Fu was silent for a second: "Food good."

Fei Bolin: "Whose food?"

Wen Fu: "Bo-ge's."

Fei Bolin: "Bo-ge's what?"

Wen Fu: "Bo-ge's food."

Fei Bolin: "How is Bo-ge's food?"

Wen Fu: "Good."

Fei Bolin: "How is Bo-ge's food good?"

Wen Fu thought: "Bo-ge's food... very good."

"Wrong," Fei Bolin said. "It's the food Bo-ge MADE, good."

"Oh..." Wen Fu lowered his head, clearly not wanting to continue this topic, just going along perfunctorily: "The food Bo-ge made... very good."

Fei Bolin cupped his face: "What's the subject?"

Wen Fu's eyes lit up slightly: "...Bo-ge."

"Wrong." Fei Bolin said. "The subject is 'food'."

Wen Fu's eyes drooped: "Oh."

Fei Bolin: "Then what is 'Bo-ge'?"

Wen Fu's eyeballs slowly rolled around, then lit up again: "It's the sky."

Fei Bolin: "..."

"Wrong." He held his ground, not letting Wen Fu deliberately derail him, just seriously correcting: "'Food' is the subject, so 'Bo-ge-made' is the modifier."

Wen Fu's eyelids drooped again: "Oh."

Fei Bolin: "Then what is 'good'?"

Wen Fu's brain went blank, didn't want to answer at all, just parroted Fei Bolin's question like a kitten copying: "Then what is 'good'?"

Fei Bolin: "I'm asking you."

Wen Fu's head rested in Fei Bolin's two palms, eyes hollow, shaking his head: "I don't know."

Fei Bolin: "Speak in complete sentences."

Wen Fu: "..."

Wen Fu: "I don't know what 'good' is."

Fei Bolin started another round of correction.

Wen Fu felt like he was Sun Wukong with the tightening headband on.

In just a few weeks, under Fei Bolin's relentless bombardment of education, Wen Fu — already bad at communication — completely shut down.

When Fei Bolin talked to him during the day, he only nodded or shook his head.

When Fei Bolin tried to chat with him at night, Wen Fu closed his eyes and slept.

After keenly noticing Wen Fu talking less and less, Fei Bolin finally decided to give up, actively reflected on where his plan went wrong, and never again mixed study stuff into daily life.

But the aftereffect of this was that for a long time afterward, Wen Fu always spoke in perfectly articulated subject-verb-object sentences, with the earnest manner of a foreigner just starting to learn Chinese.

That day, Xie Yining pulled Wen Fu aside mysteriously: "Someone on our School's Tieba and confession wall posted about you. Did you know?"

Wen Fu shook his head. He was about to say "I don't know" but remembered Fei Bolin's reminder about grammar, so he answered carefully and slowly: "I don't know..."

He paused, mentally counted the subject, verb, and object of his sentence, remembered to add the necessary modifier, then continued: "I do not know the matter of someone posting me on the School's confession wall."

Xie Yining looked at him strangely: "You talk like someone..."

Wen Fu was about to ask "who" but stopped himself. After a few seconds he asked in full: "Who do I talk like?"

Xie Yining stroked her chin, thinking: "That mechanical voice... the one with that translation-ese flavor... ugh... I can't remember..."

Lu Yuqiu leaned over and quietly reminded her: "The price of the shirt is nine pounds fifteen pence."

"Oh right right right!" Xie Yining pointed at Wen Fu: "That's it!"

She patted Wen Fu's shoulder, beaming: "Doremi your skills have improved lately! Not only can you speak Japanese, now you can do the foreigner accent too! East meets west!"

Wen Fu: "..."

Seeing his expression that couldn't crack a smile, Xie Yining laughed a bit then stopped. Picking up where she left off, she flipped through her phone and said: "So before, you sang at the June 1st thing, and then over summer break people kept looking for you on the confession wall. At first it was an anonymous post wanting your contact info, but after two hundred plus comments nobody knew. Someone just forwarded it to my QQ space — you wouldn't still only have me and the class monitor added on QQ, right?"

Wen Fu considered and said: "The people I have on QQ are also Su Haoran, Lu Yuqiu, Qi Yichuan."

"No wonder." Xie Yining said. "If none of us say anything, of course nobody knows your contact."

She continued: "Then two months later, that poster posted again, saying they'd pay money for your contact info, but still nobody answered."

Wen Fu thought for a while after hearing this, couldn't figure out the complete subject-verb-object of what he wanted to say next, so he just asked: "How much money?"

Xie Yining held up a "2".

Wen Fu was stunned: "Two hundred?"

Want to give it.

Xie Yining: "Two thousand."

Wen Fu immediately turned to find Fei Bolin and ask for his phone: "I'm going to contact him."

"I haven't finished. Listen to me finish before you decide whether to give it." Xie Yining pulled him back. "Later that confession wall post got deleted. That person went straight to our Tieba and posted, just a few days ago."

She flipped her phone to the Tieba interface, clicked into that post: "I'm familiar with Tieba. The ID 'Keeping Up With The Times' — I knew right away — it's a guy from Hanyang Class. I have an impression. Do you know why?"

Wen Fu was too lazy to talk, just shook his head.

Xie Yining backed out, opened another post — one from over two months ago, lots of replies, later the floor got into arguments, and the admin locked the thread.

The post title was: [Class of 2012 come in... a bit of gossip]

[During midterms Hanyang Department held a meeting, said they wanted the top five students from General Classes who scored over 600 to transfer to Hanyang Class to sprint for senior year. At first the General Class teachers weren't happy, but they caved under pressure from the school. The condition was no forced transfers — had to ask the students first. Of the five, three agreed. The other two were from Class 6 — one surnamed Fei (you know who, famous top student since year one), and one transfer student, name probably doesn't ring a bell, that's the guy who broke the 50m record at the school sports meet, No.1 High School's Red Hare, called Wen Fu. The two are desk mates, both refused to transfer to Hanyang Department. Heard the Hanyang Department teachers were furious, especially the homeroom teacher of the class that was supposed to take them. Originally Hanyang Department made this decision wanting them to transfer in, so during the meeting that homeroom teacher kept pushing. Other classes each got one student transferred in, but he didn't get a single one.]

[1L: Isn't this standard? That bunch of Class 6 students and teachers strut around General Department every day, looking down on people with their noses in the air. Just because their class might produce a top scorer someday, how could they bear to let people go]

[2L: Birds of a feather, that Fei Bolin is also interesting, normally doesn't even give Hanyang Department a proper look]

[3L: Second floor don't say it, you really don't say it. No wonder that Red Hare is his desk mate. Back then at the sports meet he went to draw lots, the Hanyang Class guy next to me was standing right beside him. That guy was genuinely arrogant as hell, like Hanyang Department owed him two million]

[4L: The two of them are in sync. Back then the Class 6 homeroom teacher called Wen Fu in to talk, I was in the office too, just not in their class. I had my back to them. Heard Gu Mingchun ask Wen Fu if he was willing to transfer to Hanyang Class, Wen Fu directly said if Fei Bolin goes he goes. You know what Gu Mingchun said?]

[5L: Fourth floor let me hear it]

[6L: Fourth floor let me hear it]

[7L: Fourth floor let me hear it]

[8L: The guy said, Fei Bolin answered him right then: no need]

[9L: What does "no need" mean?]

[10L: Fei Bolin's exact words: what "no need" means is, even without going to Hanyang Department, I can still get first in the grade /.smile]

[11L: Hilarious, does he think he's some hot commodity? /.laugh cry, Hanyang Department is begging him to come? I'd say Hanyang Department is giving him too much face hahaha]

[12L: So badass why doesn't he get first every single time]

[13L: Wouldn't be thinking refusing Hanyang Department is some cool thing, idiot]

[14L: My friend paid hundreds of thousands to try to get in and couldn't, the spots rather go to waste on this kind of person than consider giving them to others, if given to others they could bring in hundreds of thousands]

[15L: From now on please address him as First Brother Fei Bolin /.smile]

[16L: I want to see if First Brother can get the top scorer in gaokao]

[17L: Getting into a vocational college would be hilarious]

[18L: As long as his brain doesn't short-circuit he shouldn't end up at vocational, but if he doesn't get first in the grade in the end that would be pretty funny]

[19L: When the time comes come dig up this thread hahahaha]

[20L: Waiting for First Brother to win the top scorer crown]

[21L: Waiting for First Brother to win the top scorer crown]

[22L: Waiting for First Brother to win the top scorer crown]

[23L: The sourness in this thread is about to spill off the screen. It's just that you think he's ungrateful but what he said is the truth. You only dare to be tough behind anonymity. If you really compared grades, each one of you is worse]

[24L: Twenty-third floor nobody said you, why so worked up? Are you Fei Bolin?]

[25L: Twenty-third floor Fei Bolin using main account to talk]

[26L: Oh, First Brother got embarrassed and came to the thread?]

[27L: Look up at my ID, anyone who's been on Tieba knows who I am. I dare to expose my real name, can the floors above? I'll say my name, you say yours?]

The thread was locked from replies here. Xie Yining, seeing Wen Fu had finished reading, pointed at "23L" and "27L" and said: "That's me." Then pointed at "20L" and said: "This ID is the one who posted looking for your contact info."

She crossed her arms, face cold: "I said the Tieba junior mod is from Hanyang Department. The floors in front were cursing the class monitor left and right and the admin didn't do anything. The moment I show up they lock replies. Tch. Can't take it."

Wen Fu didn't say anything, turned and brought Xie Yining to find Fei Bolin for his phone.

Fei Bolin was confused: "What do you need the phone for?"

Wen Fu turned to look at Xie Yining.

Xie Yining took the lead, rattling off the whole thing to Fei Bolin from start to finish.

Also showed him the post.

Fei Bolin read it calmly, then asked Wen Fu: "You want to give him your contact info?"

Wen Fu nodded.

Xie Yining was about to nod too, then suddenly reacted, and instead questioned Wen Fu: "After all that, you still want to give him your contact info?"

Wen Fu said: "I'm going to curse him out."

Xie Yining and Fei Bolin both stared at him.

Rare to hear Wen Fu so decisively say he'd curse someone out.

Xie Yining: "What are you going to call him?"

Wen Fu actually hadn't thought it through.

He didn't have much experience with this stuff. Couldn't even speak fluently, let alone curse someone out.

So he thought for a while and said:

"Baka."

Fei Bolin: "..."

Xie Yining: "..."

Xie Yining facepalmed: "Forget it then."

Fei Bolin was about to shake his head in veto, but then heard Xie Yining drop her hand and say: "Cursing 'baka' has no bite at all, switch it up."

Wen Fu asked: "Switch to what?"

Xie Yining's bad ideas were just like Su Haoran's, a belly full of them: "Wasn't he posting on the confession wall wanting your contact info? Call that faggot 'confession bro'."

Wen Fu: "What's a faggot?"

Fei Bolin closed his eyes and sighed.

Felt like the curse landed on himself.