63

Xu Wei, the son of Fei Baolin's 'uncle.'

Whether that 'uncle' title flattered Fei Baolin or Xu Wei was anyone's guess.

Before Fei Baolin's father got caught cheating, when Fei Baolin was four, the woman surnamed Xu — his father's later wife — had often brought her own little nephew to stay overnight at the Fei Family Estate under the guise of being Fei father's assistant, always when Lin Yuanyi was away on work.

Fei Baolin was too young back then. He'd seen his father shut himself in a room with that woman for whole afternoons and never thought anything of it — his dad was busy, the study always had a stream of different people coming and going, meetings ran two or three hours, the door was always closed. Plus his upbringing was strict from age four: every morning the moment he opened his eyes he was shipped off somewhere — the horse track, the golf course, piano lessons, foreign languages. The free time he had in a day was so scarce, those few stolen breaths between activities, he never had the bandwidth to notice who went into his father's room or how long they stayed.

At four, the family had hired him three dedicated foreign-language tutors and two life-skills teachers. He didn't go to kindergarten. Lin Yuanyi was busy with work, and her social circle didn't overlap with the stay-at-home wives of their class — she had no mom-friends to swap kids' playdates with. So Fei Baolin had almost no friends. In those days, the little nephew the cheating wife's woman brought along became his closest playmate.

That was Xu Wei.

Fei Baolin didn't understand any of it. He couldn't figure out Xu Wei's pattern of visits, and out of a child's pure hunger for friendship, he just wanted the kid to come more often.

Xu Wei did start coming more and more often, until one day the two kids were pressed up against the parlor door, watching three adults inside exchange cold pleasantries — so that was what a civilized falling-out looked like.

A few moving trucks sat in the courtyard. The servants carried Lin Yuanyi's and Fei Baolin's things out to the trucks one by one. In the end, Lin Yuanyi took Fei Baolin by the hand and walked out of the house he'd grown up in.

When they left, Fei Baolin stood behind Lin Yuanyi and watched her go over the luggage with the driver. His father didn't come out to see them off. Xu Wei did.

He was a year or two older than Fei Baolin — he couldn't remember exactly. The only thing that stuck was Xu Wei's usual bright smile that day. He grabbed Fei Baolin and asked, 'Fei Qi, are you leaving?'

Fei Baolin glanced back at Lin Yuanyi. His mother did everything with the force of a thunderclap — even counting luggage with the driver, she radiated an authority that made everyone around her hold their breath.

He figured he was leaving. Just didn't know where. So he nodded at Xu Wei.

Xu Wei grinned and asked, 'Are you coming back?'

Fei Baolin still didn't know.

Xu Wei said, 'Don't.'

Fei Baolin didn't get it. 'Why?'

Xu Wei's eyes curved into a smile. 'Because I don't want to move out. You'd better never come back.'

Four-year-old Fei Baolin drifted into a daze that sunny afternoon. Not because of Xu Wei's seemingly innocent request, but because of his mother's back — she never once turned around — and the third-floor window of his father's room, shut tight the whole time. He had a vague sense that he really would never come back.

Lin Yuanyi's biggest mistake in life was trusting Fei Baolin's biological father too much. She never even glanced at the documents the man beside her pillow handed over, and without realizing it, let him transfer every share under her name. Though even without Fei father's scheming, knowing Lin Yuanyi's temper, she probably wouldn't have deigned to take a single cent that smelled like the Fei family.

Not until he was sitting in the business car pulling away from that enormous estate, and he turned to look — Xu Wei, standing in the garden watching him go, still wearing that same pure, lovely smile — did a chill crawl up his spine, belated.

Xu Wei. The last new face Fei Baolin saw in the cold, magnificent Fei Family Estate.

Xu Wei's father — current CEO of Fei Corporation, and the chairman's wife's own brother.

A Xu Family that rode one man's coattails to heaven, living in silk and satin on Fei Corporation's glory for over a decade — and now young master Xu Wei had the nerve to show up in some shabby internet cafe in Rongzhou, a fourth-tier nowhere city, and recognize Fei Baolin on sight.

Fei Baolin didn't feel much of anything about this old playmate — no sorrow, no joy, not glad, not annoyed. Too much time had passed. Mention Xu Wei and all he could recall was that eye-stabbing afternoon, a five- or six-year-old kid with a harmless smile telling him never to come back. The Fei estate had welcomed its new chapter on the most ordinary of days, and just like that, fourteen years had gone by.

'You remember me, Fei Qi.' Xu Wei's face still wore that friendly, generous smile. He crossed the aisle to Fei Baolin, didn't hesitate to throw an arm around his shoulder, acting like they were old buddies. 'Didn't expect to run into you here. This your classmate? — Done with the gaokao? Or not yet? What grade are you in this year?'

Wen Fu had been watching the two of them greet each other with a blank, lost look, his eyes bouncing between Xu Wei and Fei Baolin. The moment the guy put his hand on Fei Baolin's shoulder, Wen Fu glanced up at Fei Baolin's expression, then turned back to Xu Wei with a scowl — pure hostile, defensive posture.

Fei Baolin's face didn't flicker. He just shook Xu Wei's hand off without a word and made to lead Wen Fu out. 'Haven't done the gaokao yet. I need to study. We're leaving.'

'Hey, Fei Qi!' Xu Wei took a step after him, trying to pull him back.

Fei Baolin dodged, but stopped. 'I go by Fei Baolin now, not Fei Qi. Was there something else?'

Xu Wei's smile froze for a second — clearly a bit awkward — but he adjusted fast, smiled again, this time with a touch of apology and sincerity. 'Um... sorry about that, I didn't know you'd changed your name — leave me your contact info, I'll treat you to a meal sometime.'

Fei Baolin was about to say no need, but Xu Wei rushed on: 'A few years back, when your mom was getting treatment abroad, there were a lot of things I never got a chance to tell you.'

The mention of Lin Yuanyi made Fei Baolin's expression soften.

Lin Yuanyi had been abroad for half a year of treatment. During that time, neither the Fei family nor the Xu Family had sent a single word to Rongzhou. Fei Baolin drifted around the house alone, clueless, hoping, waiting. Six months of waiting, and all he got back was news of Lin Yuanyi's death.

She was already gone. Those six months of treatment abroad must have been brutal. But Fei Baolin still wanted to hear — had his mother left any last words for him? What did she look like in pain? Had she ever asked someone, begged not to die in a foreign country?

He knew nothing. He wanted to know everything.

Fei Baolin pulled out his phone, opened the dial pad, and said quietly, 'Your number.'

Xu Wei glanced at the old phone in Fei Baolin's hand — worth less than three hundred bucks these days — and rattled off a string of digits.

Two seconds later, a ringtone blared from the pocket of Xu Wei's jacket, all flashy designer logos.

'That's my number,' Fei Baolin said. 'When you contact me, try to do it Saturday afternoon or Sunday daytime. Other times I'm in class.'

'Sure,' Xu Wei said easily.

Seeing Fei Baolin really about to leave this time, he called out again, 'Fei Qi — no, Baolin.'

'Was there something else?' Fei Baolin asked.

Xu Wei stepped closer, lowered his voice. 'About when we were kids... don't take it to heart. I was little back then, spoke without thinking. Just chalk it up to me being heartless. I didn't mean any of it.'

Fei Baolin looked calmly at the floor ahead, his usual unreadable expression. He only said softly, 'Whatever you said, I don't remember.'

Xu Wei blinked, then got it, grinned wide, and clapped Fei Baolin on the shoulder. 'That's fine if you don't remember! Nothing between us, we're both half Fei family people. If you want, you could even call my dad jiu, call me ge!'

Fei Baolin lifted his eyelids just enough to give him a once-over. He didn't smile back. Xu Wei stopped smiling too.

Without so much as a goodbye, Fei Baolin led Wen Fu back toward school. Halfway there, Xie Yining messaged Fei Baolin — said Su Haoran had gone to Gu Mingchun and explained that he'd taken Wen Fu up to the academic affairs building to use the bathroom. Didn't know if Gu Mingchun bought it, but said as long as the kid was found, that was good enough. Evening self-study was just letting out anyway, so Xie Yining told them not to bother coming back.

Fei Baolin turned around and headed for home.

On the eve of New Year's, students in School Uniform were everywhere you looked, up and down every street. The two of them cut through one crowded snack street after another, walking in unusual silence.

Fei Baolin didn't notice at first. After weaving through the crowd for a while, he suddenly asked Wen Fu, 'Want a grilled sausage?'

Wen Fu, for once, shook his head.

'Why?'

Wen Fu didn't give a reason. Just said, 'Don't want one.'

Fei Baolin was puzzled. On holidays, going home and buying Wen Fu snacks at the snack street without question had become their unspoken ritual over the past year-plus. It was the moment Wen Fu looked forward to most — one of the biggest reasons he looked forward to breaks.

Wen Fu's face had been cold ever since he left the internet cafe with Fei Baolin. Wouldn't take food when offered. Fei Baolin thought for a moment, then asked, 'Because of Xu Wei?'

Wen Fu nodded.

Fei Baolin asked again, 'Why?'

Wen Fu said, 'I hate him.'

Fei Baolin: ?

Logically speaking, Xu Wei and Wen Fu had no grudge between them. They'd only just met.

Wen Fu explained, 'Bo-ge hates him.'

'...' Fei Baolin was quiet for a moment. 'I don't.'

Wen Fu glanced at him, too lazy to argue.

Fei Baolin asked again, 'Just because of him you don't feel like eating sausage?'

Wen Fu nodded without a shred of hesitation. 'Bo-ge really hates him.'

Fei Baolin: '...'

Fei Baolin was silent, then silent some more. 'I really don't.'

The look Wen Fu gave him this time was a bare-faced 'can't be bothered to explain.'

Fine.

Fei Baolin lowered his head.

He smiled. So Wen Fu was the type to let his mood kill his appetite too. He'd never been affected before — probably because he'd never been in a bad mood before.

Since Wen Fu's mood had been dragged down by him, it was on him to lift it back up.

'I don't hate him. I just — when I see him, I think about my mom's death.' After making that clear, Fei Baolin asked Wen Fu in a joking tone, 'Since you can tell Bo-ge hates Xu Wei, who do you think Bo-ge likes?'

Wen Fu actually pouted, then answered without a beat, 'Bo-ge likes me.'

With the air of 'you really bothering a kitty with a question this easy.'

He'd answered so blunt and clean. Fei Baolin had half-expected Wen Fu to say exactly that — he could feel it coming — but hearing it still caught him off guard enough that his heart skipped a beat.

'There's only one kind of hate, but liking comes in lots of kinds, Xiao Fu,' he reminded him.

'All of them,' Wen Fu said.

Fei Baolin blinked. 'What?'

Wen Fu, matter-of-fact: 'In every way, Bo-ge likes me.'

He'd kept him so long, Fei Baolin had almost forgotten — just like he could sense the hostility between Xu Wei and Fei Baolin, Wen Fu was sharp as a wild animal. He could always sniff out, with perfect accuracy, the surging waves hidden under everyone's calm surface.

Too bad for the limits of his understanding. Wen Fu's answers sounded airtight, but he didn't seem to grasp much about feelings.

Fei Baolin cut to the heart of it: 'How many kinds of liking do you know?'

Wen Fu had clearly been on guard for that question. Sure enough, the moment Fei Baolin poked at it, Wen Fu shot him a guilty glance and dodged fast: 'Lots.'

Fei Baolin pressed, calm: 'Like what?'

Wen Fu: 'I want a grilled sausage.'

Fei Baolin: '...'

Fei Baolin, deadpan: 'Let's go.'

Rongzhou in 2014 had an especially cold winter. After the break in early February 2015, parts of the city got snow — a rare sight for this small southwestern city, something that only happened every few years.

As seniors, their winter break was as short as summer break — barely a week. The city's first mock exam ended on the 28th of the twelfth lunar month, then break started. Classes resumed on the 5th of the first lunar month. Boarders who lived far away burned two days just on travel, leaving only one chance to go home for the New Year's dinner.

On the first snowy morning, Fei Baolin got up early. While he was out buying Wen Fu xiaolongbao, he grabbed a pair of gloves and a scarf for him too.

It was too cold this year. Wen Fu hated both extreme heat and extreme cold. To keep Wen Fu from moping through New Year's Eve, Fei Baolin had to wrap him up warm from head to toe before he could relax.

Lucky that on a snowy morning, even with the cold, the smell of steaming xiaolongbao was enough to grab Wen Fu's attention.

The moment Fei Baolin opened the door and got home, the smell of xiaolongbao hit Wen Fu's nose. He woke up almost instantly. Before Fei Baolin could get to the room, he threw on a sweater and a down jacket any which way, scrambled to the table, and sat there bleary-eyed, mouth open, waiting for his baozi.

Fei Baolin ruffled his impossibly messy hair. 'Brush your teeth first.'

Wen Fu's nose twitched. He took a sniff of the baozi, ducked into the bathroom, gave his teeth a quick scrub and splashed water on his face, then bolted back out.

He downed eight xiaolongbao in one go, still wanted more. Just as he was about to attack the other bag of huajuan, Fei Baolin came out with a cup of warm milk he'd heated up for him.

Wen Fu was sitting, Fei Baolin standing in front of him. The moment Fei Baolin looked down, he could see the body under Wen Fu's loose collar.

Wen Fu was still so thin — right in the middle of a growth spurt. Fei Baolin had been feeding him for a year now, all the milk and rice he'd pushed into him had gone straight to bone. Not an extra ounce of flesh on him. The moment he put on one of Fei Baolin's oversized sweaters, you could see the two thin collarbones above Wen Fu's neckline.

Fei Baolin set the milk on the table, and naturally reached his hand under the hem of Wen Fu's shirt — sure enough, no thermal underneath.

He looked down at Wen Fu's ankles.

Wen Fu had gotten a bit taller lately without anyone noticing. During those two autumn months in Rongzhou, there was a stretch where Wen Fu would thump his legs after running during the big-break exercise every day. Fei Baolin had noticed a few times and asked what was wrong. Wen Fu said his legs hurt.

Fei Baolin asked where. Wen Fu said his calves, the bones in his calves hurt.

He couldn't pinpoint exactly where.

Later, at night, Wen Fu would sometimes get cramps in his sleep. A calf cramp felt like someone pulling the muscle apart in both directions. Wen Fu could take pain, but it still hurt enough to make him sit up in bed — he just kept quiet so he wouldn't wake Fei Baolin.

That night, Fei Baolin woke up in the middle of the night. The moment he opened his eyes, he saw Wen Fu sitting at the head of the bed, hugging his bent left calf, his head resting on his knee, looking out the window and breathing in softly.

He reached out and touched Wen Fu's slightly curved back, asked in a voice still rough with sleep, 'Legs hurting again?'

Wen Fu didn't turn to look at him. Just gave a small nod with the back of his messy head, his voice a little low. 'Always.'

Fei Baolin didn't say anything. He sat up sideways, rubbed his hands warm, reached under the covers, and pressed them against Wen Fu's calf, kneading. 'Legs hurting means you're growing taller.'

Wen Fu finally turned his head.

His temple rested on his kneecap. His eyes, washed by the moonlight coming through the window behind him, had gathered a pool of blurry, silvery water. Maybe one leg cramp didn't seem like a big deal, but after enough of them, it became the biggest grievance he'd ever suffered in all his time with Fei Baolin. 'Did Bo-ge's legs hurt when he was growing?'

Fei Baolin didn't remember.

His own growing pains were years ago. Lin Yuanyi was still alive then. When he'd wake up in the middle of the night with leg cramps, she'd stroke his back like this and soothe him: 'Legs hurting means you're growing taller, Baolin. Growing up always means a little of this ache, a little of that.'

He'd grown a few centimeters this time last year too, that was true. But Wen Fu had just arrived at the house back then, turning Fei Baolin's life upside down every day — couldn't get enough food into him, Fei Baolin was busy cooking him meal after meal, and at night Wen Fu wouldn't settle down, sprawled every which way in bed, Fei Baolin couldn't even catch him under the covers. A body full of growing bones — when would it have had time to bother with pain?

He smiled, coaxed Wen Fu: 'I'll stew you some pork ribs tomorrow.'

As if his body knew when to read the room — the moment those words left his mouth, the muscles in Wen Fu's calf slowly relaxed under his hand.

Fei Baolin's palm stayed warm against the skin of Wen Fu's calf. He didn't pull it away.

His fingertips measured the width of Wen Fu's leg bone — how could someone's bone frame be born so delicate, a full size smaller than his?

As Fei Baolin gripped Wen Fu's ankle, he thought — which inch of this bone was growing for him?