19

Not two days later, Xu Yan got added on WeChat by TIDE's chief photographer Lu Sen. No small talk—straight to the point, asking if he was free tomorrow afternoon to come by the studio. They were prepping the last cover shoot of the year. Xu Yan wasn't exactly nervous, but to avoid wasting a big-name photographer's time, he replied honestly: most of his photography before had been daily-life stuff, landscapes mostly, he'd never touched fashion photography, but he'd work hard to learn.

Lu Sen replied with a voice message—probably too lazy to type. The background was noisy, clearly a busy set. Lu Sen said: 'The editor-in-chief showed me your work. Honestly, your stuff has too much personal flavor. It'll take time to adjust.'

'But photography is about visual language, and I trust you get that. I think your lens is interesting—if we put it on a magazine, it could work. Come shoot at the studio first, give it a try. Your technique's solid.'

Then Lu Sen said, lazy: 'I think you've got more vision than Xu Nian. I trust my eye for people.'

His own little brother getting dragged—Xu Yan laughed without a care and replied: Sure, I'll be there on time tomorrow.

Last exhibition, Tang Yunyan ended up not showing in the end. Same magazine, they'd run into each other eventually—Xu Yan had braced himself for it. So when he saw Tang Yunyan in the studio, he stuck his hand out natural: 'Intern photographer, Xu Yan.'

Tang Yunyan had her wavy long hair loosely tied back, barely-there makeup, features so striking they could've passed for any celebrity Xu Yan had ever seen. That mature, easy presence—impossible to forget.

'Tang Yunyan. Call me Chloe.' She shook his hand, and when she smiled, the shape of her lips looked even prettier. 'Larson showed me your work. I really like it.'

Every thought Xu Yan had just evaporated. Shen Zhi's ex-girlfriend, Yan-yan or Yan-yan—in front of a woman like this, picking through the past felt small and boring, not magnanimous at all. Plus he and Shen Zhi were already past tense. Xu Yan smiled along. 'Thanks.'

Shoot moved fast—Lu Sen on main, Xu Yan testing. From afternoon straight into night, plus solo interviews. After wrap, Xu Yan sat with his laptop going through Lu Sen's shots, totally absorbed. Lu Sen's gift with people: he didn't just catch the tiniest expressions on a face, he made the people in his photos talk. Through their eyes, their bearing—you knew what they wanted to say without them opening their mouths.

'Not bad?' Lu Sen handed him a hot cocoa and sat down beside him.

Xu Yan nodded. 'But I feel like I've got a long way to go. I probably haven't even found the starting line yet.'

'No, you won't.' Lu Sen braced his hands behind him, leaned back lazy, tapped the floor with his toe. 'The starting line's right here. You've already arrived.' He'd looked at Xu Yan's shots from today—solid technique, sharp composition—but for TIDE and the fashion world, still a bit green. Different style, different subjects. Needed polishing.

Xu Yan turned to look at him. Lu Sen's pupils showed a strange brown-green under the lights—quarter French blood, tall, long-legged, sharp features, better Mandarin than most Chinese people. Xu Yan couldn't for the life of him figure out what Lu Sen had ever seen in Xu Nian, just like he couldn't have imagined Lu Sen suddenly asking: 'You got a boyfriend?'

'Huh?' Xu Yan blinked, then said honestly, 'No.'

'When Xu Nian brought you up, he made a point of saying his brother was straight. I was thinking right then—his brother's gotta be gay, or bi.' Lu Sen narrowed his eyes. 'When's Xu Nian's brain gonna get any smarter.'

'Xu Nian's plenty smart.' Xu Yan smiled. 'He just drops his guard around people he's close to. Turns into a silly kid.'

'Oh~' Lu Sen looked like he understood something new, a smile tucked in the corner of his eye. 'So that means Xu Nian's pretty close to me.'

After packing up gear and another hour of post-production polish, Xu Yan left the office. Honestly, he hadn't been ready to start working again—this whole thing had been pushed along. Didn't expect Xu Nian to move so fast, didn't expect Lu Sen to agree to take him on so easy. But this chance was too rare, it was what he loved, he had to fight for it.

Thinking about that, Xu Yan pulled out his phone and texted Xu Nian: Nian-nian, gege loves you.

Xu Nian replied instantly: UGH!

Car was in the open lot. Xu Yan walked over with his hands in his pockets. Chinese New Year in half a month—he had to go home this weekend, no way around it. Xu Yan didn't back down from most things, but with his parents he genuinely felt guilty. There'd been a better way to handle it back then, but he'd been young and stubborn and picked the worst one.

Only a few cars left in the lot. Xu Yan walked to his, and three spots over he caught Tang Yunyan's back. Someone was leaning against a car across from her, the two of them talking. Xu Yan was still debating whether to say hi when he heard a car unlock—Tang Yunyan turned around right then. He waved. 'Chloe, I'm heading out.'

'Drive safe.' Tang Yunyan's lips curved up. 'You worked hard today.'

'No no, it's just—' Xu Yan hadn't finished when the wind caught a corner of Tang Yunyan's scarf, and the person behind her showed a sliver of face. Xu Yan didn't want to admit it, but he realized with a kind of grief that he could probably recognize Shen Zhi even if he were burned to ash.

Shen Zhi had been leaning against the car. He'd frozen when he heard Xu Yan greet Tang Yunyan, straightened up—and the next moment their eyes met. But Xu Yan only paused a second, said 'It's what I should do, I'm heading off,' and got in the car. Shen Zhi didn't even have time to see his face clearly.

Tang Yunyan turned back and caught Shen Zhi's slightly stunned look, his eyes following Xu Yan's car as it pulled away. She was sharp—sharp enough that, just like she'd predicted back then that someone like Shen Zhi could never really give his love, she smiled faintly now. 'I was wondering why you suddenly showed up. You didn't tell me your boyfriend was my colleague.'

Shen Zhi's hand had unconsciously landed on the car door handle, but Tang Yunyan noticed he was actually somewhere else entirely—like a precision machine that had just crashed, walked into a bug. That frozen feeling. Tang Yunyan asked, 'Not going to chase him?'

'Whatever's going on between you two, the thing to avoid right now is creating more unnecessary misunderstandings.' Tang Yunyan adjusted her coat. 'Shen Zhi, I'm guessing these years in love you've been indulged to a certain point. You've been spoiled.'

Shen Zhi's brow creased, barely. 'I don't know.'

'You're not unaware. You're just used to it.' Tang Yunyan decisively opened the car door for him and pushed him inside. 'Drive safe. The city has speed limits.'

Xu Yan drove slowly, replaying what he'd just seen—winter night, cold wind, streetlight, handsome man, beautiful woman. Anyone looking would swear it was TV drama material. Tang Yunyan had been back just over a month, and so conveniently, he'd just rolled out of Shen Zhi's life—as if heaven had cleared the path for lost lovers to reunite. Xu Yan figured it out: now Shen Zhi finally had his Yan-yan back, next step was fighting with his family over refusing to get engaged. What a bloody plot—could run forty episodes in prime time.

He hummed a tuneless song, glanced at the rearview mirror, and noticed a car tailing him. Lights on, couldn't read the plate, but he recognized the car—Shen Zhi's. No idea what was going on, couldn't be bothered to think about it. Xu Yan drove steady, kept humming, followed every traffic rule all the way to the complex entrance.

Shen Zhi's car was still behind him, and they pulled into the underground garage together. The security booth was basically a prop—any car drove in, no questions asked, no one even looked. But it was an old complex, couldn't expect much, understandable. Xu Yan wound through the garage to his spot. Park. Engine off. Door open. Out.

The garage was empty and quiet. Shen Zhi got out too, watching him from across the lane. Xu Yan crouched down to tie his shoelace. When he was done, he stood and walked toward Shen Zhi, eyes locked on his face. Shen Zhi's Adam's apple visibly bobbed—didn't know what Xu Yan was about to do, so he just stood there. Xu Yan walked up to him, pulled out his phone, pressed a few times, held it up. Shen Zhi saw the call screen, three numbers staring back: 110.

'Dashcam caught you following my car the whole way. I take the video to the station and report you for stalking—solid evidence.' Xu Yan's voice was even. 'I don't know what you're trying to do, but I really don't like this.'