11

Xie Liang rolled right on out of there.

Su Xingchuan was completely drained.

Li Xuan said coldly, 'Stop squirming. Just hold on a little longer.'

With Su Xingchuan sucking in a sharp breath, the stent finally came out, and the hand that had been gripping the bed frame so tightly finally relaxed. When he let go, he felt like his body didn't belong to him anymore.

'All done,' Li Xuan said.

After the initial agony, the surgery, the post-op blood in his urine, the first catheter removal, and now this second stent removal, Su Xingchuan's urology adventure was finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

Li Xuan set his tools aside.

Su Xingchuan asked, 'You weren't really taking it out on me, were you?'

He sat up, panting. The hand bracing the edge of the bed was still trembling faintly. He sat there for a long time before he began straightening his clothes.

Li Xuan had his back to him as he pulled off his gloves, his tone flat. 'It'll still hurt for a few days. Same aftercare as before.'

He'd probably been pissed off by Xie Liang.

So cold he might as well have been an iceberg frozen solid for a thousand years.

He used to be so clingy, it was ridiculous.

If only time could turn back, Su Xingchuan thought. Back to seven years ago, when he would stand in front of me, and all I had to do was call his name, and he'd turn around and run straight into my arms. He'd throw himself into my chest, tilt his head up to look at me, his bright eyes holding no one but me. Back then, Li Xuan was so adorable. Nothing like he is now.

'Dr. Li, had lunch yet?'

Su Xingchuan already knew the answer, but before Li Xuan could reply, he pressed on: 'I wanted to thank Dr. Li for looking after me these past few days. I'd like to treat you to a simple meal. Would Dr. Li do me the honor?'

'No need. I'll call your family in to help you up.'

The word 'family' was very deliberately chosen.

As Li Xuan passed by Su Xingchuan, Su Xingchuan suddenly reached out, grabbed him, and pulled him between his legs.

Just like last night.

Li Xuan immediately struggled, trying to shake off Su Xingchuan's hold, but Su Xingchuan said softly, 'I'm in a lot of pain.'

He didn't clarify whether it was physical pain or heartache.

Li Xuan's chest started heaving. He forced himself to sound composed. 'Your boyfriend is still outside.'

'When did you get so obedient?'

Li Xuan turned his head away and said nothing.

Su Xingchuan let out a soft laugh. 'Weren't you the one who used to love these kinds of thrills? Weren't you pretty bold when you were teasing me?'

Li Xuan couldn't handle Su Xingchuan's nasty teasing. He wrenched himself free, sat back down at his desk, steadied his breathing, and clicked to call the next outpatient number.

The electronic chime sounded outside.

'Urology patient number 11, please proceed to Examination Room 3.'

It was a reminder for the next person, and also a reminder for Su Xingchuan — that right now, in this moment, he was nothing more than one of Li Xuan's patients. Su Xingchuan didn't want to delay Li Xuan's work. He lingered at the door for a few seconds, wanting to explain about him and Xie Liang, but in the end, he gave up.

Just as he stepped out, the next patient pushed open the door and went in.

Xie Liang was still on the phone with his fiancée. Su Xingchuan didn't want to bother him either, so he just sat on the bench by the door, rubbing his temples.

God, he was so tired.

The one thing he wanted most right now was a good sleep.

In all the years they'd been apart, Su Xingchuan felt like he'd never once had what you could truly call a good night's sleep.

He suddenly remembered their first New Year's together, a long time ago. When he came out of the bathroom, Li Xuan had already fallen asleep.

He climbed into bed still damp from the shower and wrapped his arms around Li Xuan from behind, pulling him close. Li Xuan, half-asleep, turned over and clung to Su Xingchuan like a koala, resting his head on Su Xingchuan's arm and finding the coziest position before quickly drifting off again. Outside the window, fireworks lit up the sky, and the big screens were counting down to the new year. At exactly midnight, he leaned down and kissed Li Xuan on the forehead, whispering, 'Happy New Year, baby.'

Back then, he never worried about insomnia.

Xie Liang finished placating his fiancée and turned back to see Su Xingchuan. 'That was fast. You good to walk?'

Su Xingchuan shot him a glare.

Xie Liang, thick-skinned as ever, grinned. 'Told you. You're still thinking about him.'

Su Xingchuan got to his feet. 'Let's go back.'

'I'll drop you off first. I've got to meet my wife at her parents' place at noon to talk about the wedding.'

'You're actually going through with it?'

'Yeah, we dragged it out for two years, but in the end we couldn't hold out against our parents' nagging.'

'Why didn't you two want to get married?'

'It's mostly that we don't want kids. Neither of us likes children, and we don't want the responsibility.' Xie Liang waved his hand and sighed. 'Forget it. It is what it is. Just consider it a way of being filial to our parents.'

Su Xingchuan gave a helpless smile.

'Are your parents still pushing you to get married?' Xie Liang asked.

'Once in a while.'

'Your mom still won't believe you like guys?'

Su Xingchuan leaned against the elevator wall and shook his head. 'But I don't actually think I like guys. I just… like him.'

It wasn't an exaggeration.

After he and Li Xuan broke up, Su Xingchuan fell into a fog. For a while, he couldn't even figure out his own orientation. He'd lost all interest in women, but when he looked at men — even men who were the same type as Li Xuan — he still wasn't interested.

When people asked him about his orientation, he couldn't give a straight answer. He'd just mumble something vague like, 'Haven't met the right person.'

But deep down, he knew perfectly well. There was no right person. That spot in his heart had been taken by Li Xuan, permanently.

Three years ago, his mother found a stack of Polaroids in his room. They were all pictures of him and Li Xuan from when they were together. In the photos, they were way too intimate. That was the first time his mother asked him if he liked men, and he said yes.

His mother refused to believe him. She coaxed, 'Don't talk nonsense. You just haven't met the right girl yet. Give it time.'

The right girl…

When Su Xingchuan was a teenager, he never imagined that ten years later he'd end up in bed with a guy. Li Xuan was really something else — waltzed in, turned his whole life upside down, and then just dusted off his hands and walked away.

Xie Liang sighed with regret. 'In this big flashy world, why play the lovesick fool? You're wasting time and wasting that face of yours.'

Su Xingchuan smiled, then sighed.

'Then let it be a waste.'

.

After he got back, Su Xingchuan made himself a bit of congee. He ate until he was half full, then went to lie down in bed.

His boss called, asking about the situation with Zhongjin Group.

Su Xingchuan was sick of hearing those two words. He held back his irritation and said, 'President Yan, nothing new on the Zhongjin front for now.'

'Xiao Su, I've noticed your work attitude has seriously gone downhill since your surgery.' Yan Tao's tone was as cutting as ever.

Su Xingchuan felt a surge of agitation. 'President Yan, the Zhongjin project was always a tough one. Back then, you told me to give it my best shot, and that it was no big deal if it didn't work out. Now that there's a glimmer of hope, you're suddenly breathing down my neck, acting like this project was yours for the taking all along, like losing Zhongjin would be a total failure on my part. You haven't said a single word about all the time and energy I put in upfront. Is this really fair?'

Yan Tao was momentarily stunned by his outburst.

'Wh-what the hell's gotten into you?'

Xie Liang was right. Ever since he ran into Li Xuan again, Su Xingchuan had been a different person.

His calm, his restraint, his polished social slickness — all of it vanished the moment Li Xuan reappeared. In a flash, he was back to being that brash twenty-year-old, the one who drew clear lines between love and hate, who took everything in stride, and who didn't weigh every decision against profit and loss.

'Sorry, President Yan. My health's been terrible lately, and my head's not in it. To be honest with you, I don't want to stay on the Zhongjin project anymore, and I don't want to deal with Xu Zhengdong.'

Yan Tao nearly slammed the table, furious. 'Zhongjin's about to hold a board meeting, and you're pulling this now!'

Su Xingchuan's temples throbbed.

'Zhou Jing has been more eager to take this project anyway. Perfect. I'd be more at ease handing it over to him!'

Zhou Jing was Su Xingchuan's biggest rival at the company.

From the moment Su Xingchuan first started working on the Zhongjin project, Zhou Jing had been constantly pulling shady moves behind his back — sowing discord, poaching contacts, whispering into Yan Tao's ear… Su Xingchuan had nothing but contempt for people like that and didn't want to waste his time on him. He'd pretty much ignored him, but in the end, Zhou Jing still managed to swoop in and snatch the prize.

He could already picture the smug look on Zhou Jing's face right now.

Forget it. Let him have it.

Anyway, Su Xingchuan had no desire to keep bowing and scraping in front of his rival in love.

He was still young, still capable. He didn't need this one meal ticket to survive.

Yan Tao hung up with a sharp click. Su Xingchuan relished the peace and quiet, put down his phone, and went back to catching up on sleep.

Too bad he couldn't fall asleep.

He tossed and turned, unable to sleep, feeling a restless, prickly heat inside.

Late at night, he finally gave in and sent Li Xuan a message: [Dr. Li, I forgot when my follow-up appointment is.]

A total excuse to start a conversation.

Li Xuan didn't reply for a long time.

Su Xingchuan lay there, jealous as a paranoid husband, thinking, Why isn't he texting back? Is he with Xu Zhengdong?

On impulse, he called him.

The call was answered quickly.

Su Xingchuan was about to speak, but all he heard on the other end was a jumble of noise — it sounded like a bar, with music cutting in and out.

'Li Xuan?'

A man's voice came through. 'Hello, this gentleman has gotten drunk at our bar. Could you come pick him up?'

Li Xuan. In a bar. Drunk.

Su Xingchuan didn't hesitate. 'Okay, please keep an eye on him. I'll be right there.'

He got the address from the bartender, got in his car, and drove over, his heart burning with anxiety the whole way, terrified that Li Xuan might be in danger.

A chaotic place like a bar — how could Li Xuan go to a place like that?

The moment the car stopped, he rushed into the bar, followed the bartender's directions, and found Li Xuan curled up asleep in a booth.

At the hospital, Li Xuan was the stern, meticulous Dr. Li, carrying that natural authority a doctor holds over a patient, which always made Su Xingchuan feel like Li Xuan had grown up, matured, and become unapproachable. But here, in a messy place like this, Li Xuan was curled up into a tiny ball, a big white puffer jacket draped over him, still looking like a kid.

He walked over and touched Li Xuan's face.

'Li Xuan?'

Li Xuan didn't react.

Su Xingchuan leaned in closer, his fingertip gently rubbing Li Xuan's earlobe, the way he used to wake him up. 'Baby?'

Li Xuan's tightly furrowed brow suddenly relaxed. He nuzzled into Su Xingchuan's palm, looking uncomfortable, and, following the warmth, found his way into Su Xingchuan's arms and nestled there with practiced ease.

Su Xingchuan felt his heart skip a beat.

Something clicked back into place with a jolt.

Su Xingchuan immediately wrapped his arms around him.

But this was no place to sleep — the air reeked of alcohol.

'Baby, wake up.' He gently shook Li Xuan's arm.

Li Xuan refused to wake. Just then, the music on stage switched to a heavy metal track that crashed down with earth-shattering force. Someone in the crowd screamed, and it scared Li Xuan so much he burrowed straight into Su Xingchuan's chest, exactly like he used to.

Su Xingchuan adored this version of Li Xuan — completely trusting, defenseless. He scooped Li Xuan up in his arms.

People turned to look, but he didn't care at all.

The bartender walked them out and helped open the car door. Su Xingchuan settled Li Xuan into the passenger seat, then thanked the bartender.

The whole sequence was smooth as flowing water.

But once he was sitting in the car, he visibly froze.

If this had been seven years ago, forget carrying Li Xuan bridal style — he could've pinned him against a hotel wall and gone at it for ages without breaking a sweat. Unfortunately, Su Xingchuan had just had surgery, plus a fever, and he was pathetically weak. The pain, which he'd been too distracted to notice, hit him all at once. He sat in the car for a long time before he recovered.

Utterly pathetic. Thank god Li Xuan was drunk.

Su Xingchuan felt a tiny bit of relief.

Just then, Li Xuan whimpered. Su Xingchuan immediately cupped his face with one hand. 'What's wrong?'

Li Xuan just kept whimpering.

He was a natural-born whiner. Even dead drunk, he couldn't stay quiet.

Su Xingchuan buckled his seatbelt for him and muttered to himself, 'Using your position to get back at me and making it hurt that much — you've gotta take full responsibility for this, Dr. Li.'

Dr. Li was fast asleep and paid him no mind.

Su Xingchuan pinched his cheek.

The night was dark, and the streets were nearly empty. It was deep winter, the end of December, the wind biting cold. The trees along the road were all bare branches.

Su Xingchuan didn't start the car right away. He just sat there in the driver's seat, quietly watching Li Xuan.

Li Xuan's features hadn't changed much since seven years ago. The baby fat in his cheeks was gone, and his facial contours were sharper, giving him a slightly aloof look. But when he was asleep, he still looked like a little cat.

A beautiful Ragdoll cat. Even when it scratches, it's still cute.

Su Xingchuan could never get enough of looking at him.

The clock on the car's display read zero-zero. It was time to take Li Xuan home.

Su Xingchuan started the car and headed toward Xinchen Mansion.

Take him home? As if.