Chapter 29

After this stretch of time together, Ji Su had thought he was no longer afraid of Gu Zhao.

But pinned against the sink like this, that prickling, scalp-tightening pressure came flooding back.

Forced to look up into those dark, fathomless eyes, Ji Su's heart hammered with panic; he stammered out a denial. 'I-it wasn't me who said that…'

'Wasn't it you who said it yourself?' Gu Zhao rubbed the tender patch of skin behind his ear with his fingertip. 'Said you liked the forceful type.'

'I did say that, but…' Ji Su caught the key point through his scattered thoughts. 'I never said I liked the domineering big-sister type.'

It was clearly Wang Mingzhe who'd made that wild summary — he himself had never once said out loud that he liked the domineering big-sister type.

'Oh, really?' Gu Zhao smiled again, though the smile didn't reach his eyes. 'Then what type do you actually like?'

'I don't know… I really was just talking nonsense earlier.' Ji Su's reason gradually returned; he tilted his head back. 'Gu Zhao, can you let go of me first?'

Gu Zhao not only didn't release him but tightened his grip instead, that handsome face pressing closer. 'You're really that unwilling to be alone with me?'

Ji Su instinctively retorted: 'I'm not.'

Gu Zhao's voice was dark and heavy. 'I only wanted to have a meal with you, and you invited all these people.'

Ji Su blinked in slight surprise. 'I thought… more people would make it livelier.'

Gu Zhao gave a cold laugh. 'Do I look like someone who likes liveliness?'

Only now did Ji Su belatedly realize what Gu Zhao was truly angry about.

It was supposed to be him treating Gu Zhao to a meal, but it had ended up being a meal for everyone — as if he didn't matter at all.

'I'm sorry…' Ji Su softened his voice, his gaze unconsciously gentling. 'I didn't consider your feelings. Can I treat you alone next time?'

Before Gu Zhao could answer, a sudden 'bang bang' came from behind — someone pounding on the door.

Then an unfamiliar male voice rang out: 'Anyone there? Why is the bathroom door locked?'

Ji Su startled, instinctively reaching out to push against the person in front of him.

But Gu Zhao stood firm between his legs, his body not budging an inch.

Ji Su: '…'

Why was this happening — was his strength really that small?

'Gu Zhao.' Ji Su was getting anxious now, urging in a low voice. 'Someone's coming, let go of me!'

Gu Zhao looked at him for a long moment, then released his grip and stepped back.

Ji Su immediately hopped off the sink, intending to open the bathroom door.

Gu Zhao turned around, strode past him in a few long steps, and opened the door first.

The middle-aged man outside blinked in surprise. 'Someone's in there?'

'Sorry about that, please go ahead.' Ji Su offered an apologetic smile, gesturing for Gu Zhao to leave quickly.

The two of them returned to the private room one after the other, just as the server was bringing out dishes.

Gu Zhao pulled out a chair, watched Ji Su sit down, then took the seat beside him.

'Holy shit!' Wang Mingzhe took a bite and praised it effusively. 'Worthy of Gu-ge's careful selection — the taste is absolutely incredible!'

Gu Zhao picked up a piece of sweet-and-sour pork rib and placed it in the bowl in front of Ji Su. 'Try it.'

Ji Su thanked him softly. 'Thank you.'

'Ooh ooh ooh!' Wang Mingzhe started performing again. 'Gu-ge, why are you only serving Ji Su? I want sweet-and-sour ribs too!'

Gu Zhao glanced at him. 'No amount of good food can shut your mouth.'

'Here, Lao Wang, let me serve you.' Zhou Yang played peacemaker, picking up a rib and sending it over. 'How about that? Not worse than the one Gu-ge picked, right?'

Qiao Jin joined in the fun. 'Me too, me too!'

The whole table was full of familiar faces; everyone chatted and ate, the atmosphere lively and relaxed.

Ji Su spent the entire meal being fed by the person beside him, his mouth never stopping, so busy he didn't even have time to talk.

Gu Zhao reached out again and placed a piece of tender, fragrant braised pig trotter into his bowl.

'That's enough, that's enough…' Ji Su turned his face and said quietly, 'Too much, I really can't eat any more.'

They were sitting close, shoulder to shoulder; the moment he tilted his head, he was almost at Gu Zhao's cheek.

A breath of warm, fragrant air brushed past his ear; Gu Zhao's large hand gripping the chopsticks tightened suddenly, then released as if nothing had happened, placing the trotter into his own bowl.

After dinner, seeing it was still early, Wang Mingzhe suggested everyone head to a bar for a while.

'A bar?' Ji Su asked casually. 'Are you guys going to drink?'

'Going to a bar doesn't necessarily mean drinking — you can dance too.' Wang Mingzhe paused, then said with exaggerated tone: 'No way, Ji Su, you've never been to a bar?'

Ji Su: 'Mm…'

'Lao Wang, you guessed right — Su-su really hasn't been to a bar, hahaha!' Qiao Jin laughed loudly. 'Every time I try to drag him to one, he won't go.'

'Little academic star, life isn't just about studying — there's a lot of other exciting stuff out there.' Wang Mingzhe was getting a bit carried away, reaching out to sling an arm around Ji Su. 'Perfect, come with us tonight and broaden your horizons!'

The moment the words fell, a large hand appeared out of nowhere and struck his arm down heavily.

Wang Mingzhe let out an 'ouch'. 'Gu-ge! Are you trying to murder your dear roommate?!'

Gu Zhao's gaze was coldly piercing. 'Go by yourself if you want to go.'

Wang Mingzhe felt a chill run down his spine and couldn't help shrinking his neck. 'Fine…'

'Su-su, you really don't want to check out a bar?' Qiao Jin, oblivious to the exchange between the two, excitedly egged him on. 'Just go take a look, you don't have to drink.'

Zhou Yang backed him up. 'Yeah, we'll be there, it's perfectly safe, don't worry.'

Ji Su didn't want to dampen everyone's spirits, so he agreed. 'Alright, I'll come broaden my horizons too.'

Gu Zhao's brow furrowed slightly; the words reached his lips but he swallowed them back.

'Just the four of us?' Zhou Yang confirmed again. 'Gu-ge, you're really not going?'

Gu Zhao: 'Going.'

'What—' Wang Mingzhe sprang up at once. 'Gu-ge, why'd you change your mind again?'

Gu Zhao: 'Any objections?'

'None, none, who'd dare have objections?' Zhou Yang laughed and picked up the thread. 'Let's go, let's go, we'll hail taxis outside.'

The group left the private room; Ji Su walked briskly to the front desk and said politely: 'Hello, I'd like to settle the bill.'

'Hello.' The young woman at the front desk smiled brightly. 'Which private room would you like to settle?'

Ji Su gave the name; the front desk clerk checked and replied: 'Hello, that room has already been settled.'

'Hm?' Ji Su turned around. 'Gu Zhao, did you pay?'

Gu Zhao stepped forward and explained calmly: 'I have a VIP card here; the bill went on the card.'

Ji Su furrowed his brow slightly. 'Didn't we agree I was treating?'

'Next time.' Gu Zhao raised his arm, loosely drawing that slender shoulder close as they walked toward the exit. 'Treat me alone next time.'

Ji Su: 'Alright…'

It seemed Gu Zhao really did care about whether he was being treated to a meal alone; better not argue about this one.

*

About half an hour later, the group arrived at a nearby bar.

When Ji Su and Gu Zhao walked into the bar side by side, nearly everyone around turned to look.

Wang Mingzhe, familiar with the routine, booked a booth and ordered a few bottles of alcohol. 'It's not crowded yet, but it'll liven up soon.'

Ji Su sat down inside the sofa; Gu Zhao naturally sat down beside him.

Sure enough, after a while the bar grew increasingly lively.

Wang Mingzhe couldn't wait to squeeze into the dance floor; Qiao Jin dragged Zhou Yang along to dance too.

Ji Su didn't like crowds, so he picked up a glass from the table and sipped it slowly.

He couldn't tell how this drink was mixed — it went down sweet, carrying a faint fruit fragrance, not at all harsh.

'Drink less.' Gu Zhao reminded him. 'This one has a decent alcohol content.'

'Really?' Ji Su unconsciously licked his upper lip. 'I think it's fine.'

The bar's lighting was dim, but Gu Zhao's eyesight was excellent; he saw clearly as that pink little tongue peeked out and swept the liquor from his lip.

His Adam's apple moved slightly; he nonchalantly withdrew his gaze and bent to pick up a glass.

'Hey!' Suddenly, a young man holding a drink greeted them — clearly heading straight for Ji Su. 'Hi there, want to have a drink together?'

Ji Su blinked in confusion. 'Huh?'

Almost at the same instant, a low, cold voice rang out: 'He came with me.'

The young man's gaze met Gu Zhao's cold eyes; an inexplicable shiver ran through him. 'Sorry — sorry to bother you!'

For the remainder of the evening, no one dared approach them again.

Gu Zhao sat there with an expressionless face, one arm draped along the sofa back behind Ji Su — a posture that looked careless, but anyone who met his gaze found themselves retreating without quite knowing why.

As for Ji Su, half-circled in his arms, blissfully unaware of the undercurrents swirling around them, he was happily sipping the sweet, sweet wine.

Qiao Jin returned from her mid-set break, dropped into the booth and took a sip of her drink. 'Su Su! Why aren't you out dancing?'

Ji Su lifted his head, his cheeks flying red. 'But I don't know how to dance...'

Qiao Jin exclaimed in surprise. 'Su Su, are you drunk?'

'I'm not.' Ji Su tried to stand as he spoke — his body swayed, and he nearly collapsed back into the booth.

Gu Zhao's brow twitched; he rose swiftly, his hand shooting out to catch him steady.

'Holy shit! Su Su, you're really drunk!' Qiao Jin reached out to steady him, but was driven back by that cold, killing gaze from beside them.

Gu Zhao spoke. 'I'll take him back first.'

'But...' Qiao Jin hesitated. 'Wait — I'll come back with you.'

Gu Zhao lifted his eyes. 'I'm taking him to my place.'

'Huh? Your place?' Qiao Jin's mouth fell open — then, remembering that Ji Su had already spent the night at Gu Zhao's Residence, she could only agree. 'Alright then, thanks for the trouble.'

Gu Zhao half-supported, half-carried him out of the noisy bar, and stood by the roadside to hail a cab.

Ji Su asked, dizzy and disoriented. 'Gu Zhao, where are we going?'

Gu Zhao flagged down a taxi. 'My place.'

'But...' Ji Su tilted his head, his tone puzzled. 'Doesn't your place only have one bed?'

'Mm.' Gu Zhao raised a hand to shield his head as he helped him into the car. 'The bed is for you.'

Ji Su looked at him with bright, sparkling eyes. 'Gu Zhao, why are you so good to me?'

Gu Zhao's lips curved, just slightly. 'Good that you know.'

*

The return trip was not far; when the taxi pulled up at the Gu Zhao's Residence complex, Ji Su's mind still seemed clear — he simply couldn't walk in a straight line.

Gu Zhao simply gathered him into his arms, bundled him up, and walked toward the elevator.

'So hot...' Ji Su's whole body was burning from the alcohol, squirming uncomfortably in his embrace. 'Gu Zhao, you're so hot — like a little volcano...'

Gu Zhao held him still with one arm, his voice a touch hoarse. 'Be good. We're almost home.'

After what felt like an age, they finally made it through the door; Ji Su voluntarily lay down on the sofa, his sticky, trailing tone a little floaty. 'Gu Zhao, why is your ceiling spinning...'

Gu Zhao walked into the Kitchen, opened the refrigerator and took out the honey, mixed a cup of honey water, walked to the sofa and crouched down. 'Drink some water.'

Ji Su raised his upper body and drank from his hand.

It was the first time either of them had fed someone water — the two of them were not at all coordinated; more than half the cup of water trickled down along that pointed chin, leaving the white, jade-like neck all wet, the shirt collar soaked through as well.

Gu Zhao gazed at the sight before him, his eyes growing darker, deeper.

'No more...' Ji Su pushed his hand away, tugging at his wet collar. 'So uncomfortable — I want to shower...'

Without waiting for a response, he clambered up from the sofa and wandered, dizzy and unsteady, toward the bedroom.

Gu Zhao rose and followed close behind, to keep him from bumping into anything.

Even though he'd only been there once, drunk Ji Su still found the bathroom with uncanny accuracy, feeling his way through the door.

With a 'bang', the bathroom door shut in Gu Zhao's face — nearly smashing into his tall, straight nose.

He narrowed his dark eyes, just slightly. 'Ji Su, are you sure you can shower by yourself?'

Ji Su did not answer him; no sound came from the bathroom at all.

Gu Zhao stood at the door for a moment, then finally turned the handle — opening it to find the person pitifully curled up in the bathtub.

So thin, so slight — slender limbs drawn in, occupying only a small corner of the tub; crow-feather lashes trembling uneasily, the delicate brow knotted, looking very unwell.

Gu Zhao walked over, bent down intending to lift him out — but was met with resistance.

'Don't touch me...' Ji Su gripped the edge of the bathtub with his slender fingers. 'I'm tired — I want to sleep...'

Gu Zhao coaxed him in a low voice. 'Be good. I'll carry you to the bed.'

'No! I want to sleep here!' Drunk Ji Su had grown a little willful, unreasonable — he even reached out to swat at Gu Zhao's hand.

But that little force was nothing — like being patted by a kitten's paw pad.

Gu Zhao did not indulge his caprice; with one scoop of his large hand, he lifted him straight out of the bathtub by the waist.

Ji Su struggled against his shoulder, slender calves kicking. 'Gu Zhao, let me go — I want to sleep in the bathtub — ah!'

With a 'slap', the large hand came down on the plump rear.

Ji Su froze for several seconds, then asked in disbelief. 'You — you hit me?'

Gu Zhao sat on the edge of the bed, laid him across his lap, and brought his palm down on that round bottom once more.

Ji Su had just drowsily kicked off his trousers; now he wore only a pair of boxer briefs — through that thin layer of black fabric, one could clearly see the full curve of his bottom bounce like jelly.

Along with the snow-white, delicate root of his thigh trembling faintly, the crimson little mole at the side of his leg appearing and disappearing.

The sensation transmitted through his palm was exquisite; the visual was even more so — Gu Zhao's eyes had gone so dark they seemed about to drip ink, his voice thoroughly hoarse. 'Didn't you say you liked the domineering type?'

Ji Su lay motionless across his lap, as if the slap had stunned him.

After a moment, Gu Zhao finally sensed something was wrong, and turned him over.

Those clear, beautiful eyes held a full pool of spring water — on the verge of spilling.

Gu Zhao, who had always been steady as an old dog, panicked in an instant. 'Did I hurt you?'

'You hit me... what gives you the right to hit me?' Ji Su opened his mouth, his voice thick with a crying tone. 'Just because I pretended to be a girl and catfished you online, you hit my butt?'

Gu Zhao was both annoyed and aching, his low voice a counter-question. 'You tricked me and ran — and you think you're in the right?'

'It's not like I wanted to! The school senior was crying like that, begging me — could I just ignore her?' Ji Su reached out to push him, big round tears rolling down in quick succession. 'I want to refuse other people's unreasonable requests too, but what happens after I refuse? Then no one will like me anymore...'

Gu Zhao frowned, caught his hand. 'Who said that?'

'I thought — as long as I was good enough, as long as I did well enough...' Ji Su's voice grew more choked, sounding terribly, terribly wronged. 'But why did I try so hard... why did they still not want me...'

Mom said Su Su, you have to be good — wait until Mom settles down over there, and she'll come back to get you.

Dad said Ji Su, you have to be obedient — then the new mom will like you.

He became a very good, very obedient child, day after day hoping, waiting.

But later Mom never came back; after the half-brother was born, the family of three was happy and harmonious, and he became an outsider who didn't fit in.

Everyone was walking forward in great strides — only he was left behind, left in that abandoned childhood.

The tears that fell were so large, so scalding, striking Gu Zhao's hand one after another, burning until his hand trembled.

In that instant, it was as if an invisible hand had seized his heart, hurting him so badly he could barely breathe.

This feeling was too unfamiliar — Gu Zhao's brow was tightly furrowed, his handsome face wearing a very ugly expression.

Ji Su raised both hands, covered his face and whimpered softly — like a small beast that had been wounded and was licking its wounds alone.

He didn't even dare cry out loud.

Gu Zhao slowly drew his hands away, the force of his touch impossibly gentle; his slightly roughened fingertips carefully wiped his tears. 'They're not important. None of them are important.'

Ji Su lifted his clumped, wet lashes, opened his hazy tear-filled eyes, and apologized incoherently. 'Sorry, Gu Zhao — I just wanted... I just wanted to get a lot of love. I'm really sorry... I didn't mean to...'

'It's okay. It's okay.' Gu Zhao cupped the face in his palm, his voice hoarse. 'Don't cry...'

Ji Su was already dizzy; crying now made him even more lightheaded — he simply closed his eyes and lay against Gu Zhao's shoulder, burying his wet face in the crook of his neck.

The skin at the side of his neck was scalded; an impossible heat quickly penetrated the surface, passing through thousands upon thousands of capillaries, finally gathering at the heart.

As if on the surface of a glacier that had not melted for years, a single crack appeared — and then that crack spread at an unstoppable speed, rending into countless dense fissures with overwhelming force.

Until, with a 'boom', it shattered completely.

Gu Zhao raised one hand, his palm stroking the soft hair, pressing him firmly against his own shoulder.

After an unknown span of time, the breath at the side of his neck gradually steadied.

Gu Zhao laid him back on the bed with great care, lowered his eyes, and gazed at that face.

Even crying so messily, he was still devastatingly beautiful — the tip of his nose red from weeping, the corners of his eyes red and pitiful — and yet Gu Zhao still, wickedly, wanted to bully him into being even more pitiful.

'Those irrelevant people — none of them matter.' Gu Zhao used his fingertip to brush the wet, clinging hair from his forehead, murmuring. 'Whatever you want, I'll give it to you.'

'And what I want — is only you.'

Not just the body, but also that beating heart.

He wanted all of Ji Su.