—

The moment those words fell, Ji Su was instantly and completely sobered.

To dash against the southern wall and never turn back — those were words he had once spoken to Gu Zhao under the identity of Mengmeng.

Ji Su steadied himself and pulled his fingers back with a sharp tug.

This time he did manage to pull his hand free, but the force he used was too great, and before he knew it his whole body was tilting backward.

Ji Su let out a startled cry; fortunately, a strong hand caught him at the waist in time and drew him back.

Two bodies collapsed together onto the soft sofa, and for a long moment neither of them moved.

Ji Su's forehead pressed against that hard chest; the fierce pounding of a heart traveled through skin into blood, surged through every limb, and finally gathered at the tip of his own heart.

The two heartbeats began to beat in resonance.

Gu Zhao drew a heavy breath and lifted a hand to rest against that slender back.

Ji Su jolted as if electrocuted, shoved him away, and retreated several steps from the sofa: 'I'm going back to the Dormitory — take care of yourself!'

So saying, he turned and walked quickly toward the door.

But Gu Zhao moved faster than he did — like a leopard coiled to spring, he blocked his path with the speed of lightning.

Ji Su retreated several steps in quick succession: 'Wh-what is it?'

'It's too late — it's not safe for you to go back alone.' Gu Zhao's gaze was dark and heavy as it fixed on him. 'Tonight I'll sleep on the sofa, you take the bed.'

Ji Su was caught between advance and retreat; he could only compromise: 'Then… I'll go shower first.'

He turned again and made straight for the bedroom, shutting himself in the bathroom, struggling to calm his racing heart.

It was too sudden — how could Gu Zhao have suddenly confessed to him?

A straight man terrified of homosexuals — how could he suddenly come to like someone of the same sex?

No, that wasn't right…

Ji Su knit his brow and looked at his own face in the mirror.

Was the person Gu Zhao liked really him?

That day in the restaurant, the ideal type Gu Zhao had described was plainly modeled on Mengmeng.

But Mengmeng didn't exist in real life — Mengmeng was someone he had invented.

So tonight — was Gu Zhao confessing to him as though he were Mengmeng?

The feverish blood cooled; reason returned to its seat.

After his shower, Ji Su stepped out of the bathroom and found Gu Zhao already asleep on the sofa.

He walked over on quiet feet, pulled down the thin blanket draped over the sofa, and carefully laid it over that tall frame.

Still insisting he wasn't drunk — he must have been completely drunk after all.

Ji Su lay down on the bed and was about to turn off the light when he suddenly remembered that Gu Zhao said he liked to sleep with a light on, so he left the bedside lamp on.

That way, if the other man woke in the middle of the night, he wouldn't have to fumble in the dark.

Ji Su closed his eyes, preparing to summon sleep.

After a while, he turned over.

Even though reason told him those words might not have been meant for him, that low, magnetic voice kept echoing through his mind.

'Because I like you.'

'Of course you can refuse me — once, twice, a hundred times, a thousand times. But I won't give up on you just because you refuse.'

……

Ji Su raised his hands to cover his ears, trying to count sheep to fend off those inescapable voices in his head.

*

The next morning, when Ji Su was woken by his internal clock, he found he was the only one left in the room.

Slowly recalling everything that had happened the night before, he still found it all impossibly unreal.

Ji Su got out of bed, washed up, then quietly opened the door and peeked out toward the living room.

Gu Zhao sat at the dining table, a large hand with prominent knuckles wrapped around a glass of water.

Ji Su was hovering behind the door when, in the midst of his hesitation, that voice that had been in his dreams all night sounded, vivid and real, right at his ear.

'Awake?' Gu Zhao didn't even lift his eyelids. 'Come eat breakfast.'

Ji Su bit his lower lip and walked over, pretending nothing was amiss: 'Good morning.'

Gu Zhao raised his eyes: 'Good morning.'

His manner was no different from usual, and Ji Su secretly let out a breath of relief.

Though somewhere in his heart there lingered a vague, indefinable concern, he deliberately ignored this small strangeness.

Gu Zhao was probably truly drunk last night — what he said shouldn't count.

After breakfast, the two of them took a taxi back to School together.

The Architecture Department and the Law Department teaching buildings faced different directions; Gu Zhao walked him to the entrance of his building. 'Shall we have lunch together?'

'Um…' Ji Su hesitated, then ventured: 'Do you remember that you drank too much last night?'

'I didn't drink too much.' Gu Zhao looked at him, his tone even. 'I remember every word I said — especially those four words, "I like you."'

Ji Su: '!'

Gu Zhao lifted a hand and, with a natural motion, straightened the collar of his shirt. 'Go to class. See you later.'

Ji Su turned around with stiff limbs and walked up the steps one step at a time.

For the entire rest of the morning, he was somewhere far away.

This absent state was soon noticed by Qiao Jin.

'Susu, what's wrong with you?' After class, Qiao Jin leaned over, concerned. 'Why have you been out of it all morning?'

Ji Su hesitated, wanting to say something: 'I…'

'What on earth is going on?' Qiao Jin pressed. 'Did something happen at Gu Zhao's Residence?'

Ji Su shook his head: 'Nothing, I just didn't rest well last night.'

The fact that Gu Zhao had confessed to him was simply too terrifying — he hadn't even sorted out his own thoughts yet, and saying anything would only complicate things further.

Qiao Jin grew tense: 'Why didn't you rest well? Did Campus Heartthrob Gu do something to you?'

Ji Su: '……'

Qiao Jin began shaking his arm: 'Tell me, tell me!'

'Really, nothing happened — he got drunk last night and went straight to sleep.' Ji Su skirted the important parts and answered vaguely. 'It was me who couldn't sleep.'

Qiao Jin believed him: 'Alright, then get a good sleep tonight.'

The thought of someone waiting for him in the cafeteria made Ji Su's head ache again: 'Right now I just want to go back to the Dormitory and sleep.'

Qiao Jin: 'Go back to the Dormitory and sleep — I'll bring you food.'

To avoid Gu Zhao, Ji Su didn't go to the cafeteria for lunch.

But one could dodge the first of the month, not the fifteenth.

After afternoon class, Ji Su packed his bag as fast as he could — he didn't even wait for Qiao Jin.

But the moment he stepped out of the teaching building, he caught sight of that tall, familiar figure at a glance.

Gu Zhao stood at the bottom of the steps with one hand in his pocket, expressionless but composed, as though everything were in his grasp.

Ji Su walked down the steps: 'How did you know I have class this afternoon?'

Gu Zhao replied lightly: 'I memorized your class schedule.'

Ji Su: '……'

If he had the time to memorize his class schedule, why not memorize a few more laws and regulations?

'I just happened to memorize it on the side.' Gu Zhao seemed to see through his thoughts. 'It's not that many classes.'

'What do you mean?' Ji Su couldn't help but protest. 'Our class schedule is clearly packed.'

Gu Zhao agreed: 'Mm, very packed.'

Ji Su pressed his lips together and silently walked faster.

Gu Zhao stretched out his long legs and caught up in a few strides.

After walking for a while, Ji Su stopped, turned to face him: 'Gu Zhao — are you serious?'

"I'm very serious," Gu Zhao replied.

"But…" Ji Su bit down, then pressed on in a single breath: "But you said I could refuse."

"Mm. I did say that." Gu Zhao stepped closer to him. "I said you could refuse — I never said you could run."

Ji Su couldn't help but retreat a step. "I'm not running…"

"Then don't avoid me." Gu Zhao's dark, heavy gaze locked onto him without letting go. "You don't have to give me an answer right now. Apart from knowing that I like you, everything between us can stay exactly as it was."

Ji Su was a little bewildered. "How could it possibly be the same?"

Gu Zhao countered: "Why couldn't it?"

Ji Su blinked, then suddenly thought of an important question: "I'm straight, and you're straight too — we can't possibly be together."

"Oh?" Gu Zhao asked him. "Have you ever had a girlfriend?"

Ji Su: "No."

Gu Zhao: "Then is there a woman you like now?"

Ji Su: "No."

Gu Zhao smiled faintly: "Then how do you know you're straight?"

Ji Su: "……"

He'd forgotten that the person standing in front of him was a law student — one careless step and you'd fall straight into his logical trap.

"You see — the probability that you're homosexual or heterosexual is at least fifty-fifty." Gu Zhao summed it up unhurriedly. "So that can't be an obstacle between us."

Ji Su opened his mouth, but for the moment found himself utterly speechless.

He had a nagging sense that something was off, but he couldn't quite pin down the thread.

"Hungry?" Gu Zhao reached out and took his backpack. "Come on, I'll take you somewhere good to eat."

Just like that, half in a daze, Ji Su was taken to another private-kitchen restaurant.

Gu Zhao had said it would be the same as before, and he meant it — attending to every last detail of Ji Su's comfort.

After dinner, the two of them walked side by side down the street.

The early-summer evening breeze carried a thread of coolness, and it blew some clarity back into Ji Su's muddled head.

No — no matter how he turned it over, something was wrong.

A person's sexuality doesn't just change on a whim, and Gu Zhao couldn't have gone from a homophobic straight man to homosexual overnight.

The only explanation was that Gu Zhao had transferred his infatuation with Mengmeng onto him — treating him as Mengmeng's…

…substitute.

Since he couldn't avoid it no matter how hard he tried, he'd have to change tactics.

Ji Su steeled himself and asked softly: "Gu Zhao, can I sleep at your place tonight?"

Gu Zhao's stride faltered; he turned and looked at him sidelong. "Are you sure?"

"I'm sure." Ji Su kept his eyes on the road ahead. "I remember this is pretty close to your place, right?"

"Mm." Gu Zhao answered. "Let's go."

A little lamb that had delivered itself to the door — no reason to turn it away.

*

He'd left here in a hurry this morning, and tonight he'd come back of his own accord.

Only this time, Ji Su had returned with a mission.

Gu Zhao walked past him toward the Kitchen: "Something to drink?"

Ji Su's head was full of his plan: "Anything's fine."

Gu Zhao opened the refrigerator: "There's nothing called 'anything's fine.'"

Ji Su walked over: "Then mineral water."

Gu Zhao took out a bottle of mineral water, unscrewed the cap, and handed it to him: "Keep yourself busy for a bit — I'll go shower first."

"Okay." Ji Su took the water. "Go ahead."

While Gu Zhao was in the shower, he sat on the sofa and sent Qiao Jin a message.

Ji Su: [Xiao Qiao, I'm not coming back tonight either.]

Qiao Jin: [???]

Qiao Jin: [Classmate Ji Su, you've got a serious problem lately — count how many nights in a row you've stayed out now?]

Ji Su: [Last one, I promise.]

Qiao Jin: [At Gu Zhao's place again?]

Ji Su: [Mm…]

Qiao Jin: [I really think you two have been acting super weird lately — come clean, what kind of shady deal are you two up to?]

Ji Su: [Really, nothing.]

Ji Su: [Anyway, get some rest early.]

If things went smoothly, tonight would settle everything, and tomorrow they could go back to their normal way of getting along.

Gu Zhao showered quickly; before long he came out drying his hair.

He was wearing that same pair of grey sweatpants again, his strong, solid upper body bare, chest and abs brazenly on display.

Ji Su lowered his lashes and pretended he hadn't seen anything.

"What are you looking down for?" There was a faint, unmistakable thread of amusement in Gu Zhao's voice. "If you're straight, why won't you look at me?"

"Who says I won't?" Ji Su lifted his eyes defiantly; his gaze landed on the clearly defined ridges of Gu Zhao's abs, his expression as solemn and unwavering as if he were taking a sacred oath.

Gu Zhao said nothing and walked toward him, step by step, until the clean, sculpted line of his Adonis belt was nearly pressed against Ji Su's face.

Under Ji Su's gaze, something faintly alarming began to take shape beneath the grey sweatpants.

Ji Su surrendered at once, rising from the sofa: "I'm going to shower too."

Behind him, Gu Zhao let out a laugh of ambiguous meaning.

Ji Su shut the bathroom door, stripped off his clothes, and turned the water a little cooler than usual.

He tilted his face up and let the stream wash over his cheeks.

He'd always tried his hardest to make everyone happy — but his one true friend, to this day, was still only Qiao Jin.

He'd naively assumed Gu Zhao would be his second genuine friend, only to learn that the other man hadn't felt the same way.

But whatever the reason behind it, the kindness shown to him had been real, and he wasn't willing to lose Gu Zhao as a friend just like that.

So now he had to find a way to make Gu Zhao see clearly, once and for all, that he and Mengmeng were not the same person at all.

The pure, clingy, pretty little sister Mengmeng was a fiction; the real Ji Su was nothing but a boring straight man.

After turning off the shower, Ji Su dawdled in the bathroom for a good while, then finally overcame the shame and unease inside him and opened the door.

It was nothing — in northern bathhouses everyone walked around naked as a matter of course, and back in the Dormitory his roommates never bothered to put on shirts either.

Once Gu Zhao saw this utterly unremarkable body of his, he'd give up for good the idea of liking him as a stand-in for Mengmeng.

"I'm done." Ji Su stepped out of the bedroom, the tail end of his voice trembling slightly against his will.

Gu Zhao was reclining against the headboard reading; on hearing him, he looked up — and his pupils contracted sharply.

Ji Su was standing right in front of him, his entire body clad in nothing but a pair of white briefs.

Everywhere the eye landed was skin white with a flush of pink beneath, like the finest mutton-fat jade, glowing with a soft, translucent luster.

Beneath the straight, delicate collarbones lay the faintest swell of chest; the snowy waist and belly were thin and narrow, and two natural, beautiful lines of muscle ran down to the edge of his briefs.

The close-fitting white briefs were so brief they couldn't even cover the small red mole at the side of his thigh, let alone those slender, long, straight legs — so pale they were almost dazzling.

For one second the blood in Gu Zhao's body froze solid; the next it erupted, molten lava surging straight toward his brain, and a crimson flush rose through his black pupils.

"I…" Ji Su was frightened by his gaze and stood rooted to the spot. "I accidentally got my shirt wet just now — could you give me a new one?"

Gu Zhao said nothing; even his gold-rimmed glasses couldn't soften the fierce, predatory gleam in his eyes — like a beast about to spring and tear into its prey.

Ji Su instinctively sensed danger and turned to flee back into the bathroom, stumbling clumsily in his panic.

The groove of his spine ran deep; the white cotton briefs clung tight to the full, pert curve of his rear, and two small, delicate dimples of the lower back flickered in and out of sight.

If a large hand were to grip that slender waist, the thumbs would fit perfectly into those dimples…

"You really are—" Gu Zhao clenched his back teeth; filthy, indecent words rolled around behind his lips again and again, and in the end only four escaped: "asking for it."