Chapter 34

The rustling rain outside the window cut off all the noise of the world beyond.

Ji Su looked into those dark, fathomless eyes, and it seemed as though they hid a raging sea within — violent enough to drown him whole.

A buzzing vibration — his phone, tucked in his pocket, had suddenly begun to ring.

Ji Su came back to himself with a start and tried, seizing the chance, to pull his hand free. 'I — I'll take this call first.'

Gu Zhao gave his fingers a squeeze — neither too light nor too hard — and let his large hand fall away.

'Thanks…' Ji Su no longer knew what he was saying. He tried to fish his phone out of his trouser pocket, but his hand refused to obey him.

Gu Zhao lowered his gaze and reached out one hand.

The large hand slipped into the pocket of his casual trousers; the thin fabric was almost negligible, and the palm pressed flush against his thigh — so hot that Ji Su trembled again.

'Tsk…' Gu Zhao clicked his tongue, the meaning unreadable. His long, strong fingers pinched the phone out, pressed the answer key, and placed it in Ji Su's hand.

Ji Su raised the phone. 'Hello?'

'Su Su, it's me!' Qiao Jin's voice came through the phone. 'Are you done with Music Society stuff?'

'Mm, done,' Ji Su answered.

'Then why aren't you back yet?' Qiao Jin paused, then suddenly raised her voice. 'Please tell me you didn't go to Gu Zhao's Residence again?'

Ji Su: '…'

He and Gu Zhao were standing very close, and the phone's speaker was loud enough that every word would carry clearly to the other man's ears.

Ji Su moved the phone a little farther away. 'No, Xiao Qiao, I'm about to head back to the Dormitory right now.'

'That's good.' Qiao Jin's voice relaxed, but she couldn't help chattering on. 'Anyway, that Gu Zhao campus heartthrob definitely has ulterior motives toward you — just remember —'

Ji Su's heart gave a jolt, and he hurriedly cut in: 'Xiao Qiao, I'll hang up first, we'll talk when I'm back at the Dormitory.'

With that, regardless of Qiao Jin's squawking protests on the other end, he decisively ended the call.

The music classroom fell quiet again, and Ji Su's heart climbed back up into his throat.

'Ulterior motives?' Gu Zhao braced both hands on either side of his body. 'Tell me — how exactly am I harboring ulterior motives?'

Ji Su turned his face away and protested in a small voice: 'No… you misheard.'

'No, she wasn't wrong — I really do have ulterior motives toward you.' Gu Zhao smiled. 'Even a stranger can see it. How is it you still don't understand?'

'I…' Ji Su couldn't think of anything to say, so he could only change the subject stiffly. 'I'm hungry.'

Gu Zhao watched him for another few seconds, then straightened up and let him off — for now. 'Come on, let's go eat dinner.'

Ji Su hopped down from the Piano, then turned back to make sure the Piano was safe.

'Don't worry. A little thing like you can't possibly damage the Piano.' Gu Zhao said, perfectly composed. 'If you really did break it, I'd pay for it.'

Ji Su lifted his eyes and glared at him. 'Why would you want to break a perfectly good Piano?'

Gu Zhao laughed again. 'You never know.'

Seeing the Piano intact, Ji Su didn't keep dwelling on the question and set off toward the door.

He turned off the music classroom lights, locked the door, and the two of them walked out of the club's base.

Ji Su stood on the corridor and reached out his hand to catch the rain dripping from the eaves.

Gu Zhao stood beside him and opened a black umbrella. 'Let's go.'

The two of them stepped together into the curtain of rain, heading toward the cafeteria.

The rain grew heavier, smashing against the umbrella's surface with a clatter — but the black umbrella, held steady by that large hand, kept Ji Su sheltered beneath it the whole way.

After walking for a while, Ji Su happened to notice the umbrella was tilted toward his side, and half of Gu Zhao's shoulder was soaked through with rain.

He quietly raised his hand and pushed the umbrella toward the other side.

Gu Zhao glanced at him sidelong. 'What's wrong?'

'You're getting soaked,' Ji Su replied softly.

'It's nothing.' Gu Zhao said lightly. 'I have to shower when I get back anyway.'

Ji Su reminded him kindly: 'You'll catch a cold.'

Gu Zhao's steps faltered. 'Are you worried about me?'

'Yes,' Ji Su blurted out, then meeting his gaze, added, 'It's only right for friends to care about each other.'

'Oh.' Gu Zhao looked away. 'Then keep on caring, then.'

Ji Su: '…'

How can this person be like this?

After eating dinner at the cafeteria, Gu Zhao, as usual, walked him to the Dormitory Building.

'I'm heading back.' Ji Su stopped walking. 'When you get back to the Dormitory, remember to shower right away.'

Gu Zhao agreed. 'Okay.'

Ji Su looked at that handsome, deep-featured face, wanting to say something but not knowing where to begin, and finally just waved at him. 'Be careful on the way back.'

Gu Zhao stood beneath the streetlamp, watching that slender, upright silhouette disappear around the corner, then lowered the hand holding the umbrella and closed the black umbrella up.

*

Ji Su returned to the Dormitory, where his roommates were all playing games.

After finishing a round, Qiao Jin scooted over and asked: 'What happened just now? I hadn't even finished talking — why did you hang up in such a rush?'

Ji Su said helplessly: 'Because the person you were calling ulterior motives was standing right next to me.'

'Holy shit!' Qiao Jin exclaimed, then lowered her voice to grumble: 'How is Gu Zhao the campus heartthrob literally everywhere?'

Ji Su: 'I wish I knew…'

Qiao Jin pressed: 'What did he go to Music Society for?'

Ji Su answered honestly: 'To bring me an umbrella.'

'Bring an umbrella?' Qiao Jin said, astonished. 'Gu Zhao is that thoughtful?'

Ji Su didn't want to say more and switched the topic directly: 'Today a senior came to find me — she wants me to represent Music Society and play Piano at the cultural festival.'

'For real?' Qiao Jin predictably got excited. 'The cultural festival! Su Su, you're amazing!'

Li You took off his earphones. 'What cultural festival?'

'Su Su's going to perform a Piano piece at the cultural festival!' Qiao Jin puffed out her chest, her tone as proud as a two-hundred-pound fatty.

Even though he didn't really care about the cultural festival, Zhao Ziyun still clapped. 'Wow! That sounds amazing!'

'Congrats, congrats!' Li You picked up the thread. 'Ji Su, we'll definitely come cheer you on in person!'

'Thank you all.' Ji Su thanked them, then picked up his phone from the desk and sent Gu Zhao a message.

Ji Su: [Are you back at the Dormitory?]

Gu Zhao: [Just got back.]

Ji Su: [Good.]

Ji Su: [Then hurry up and shower — don't actually catch a cold.]

Gu Zhao: [If I do catch a cold, will you take care of me?]

Ji Su: [Of course.]

Ji Su: [But having a cold feels awful — don't catch one.]

Gu Zhao: [Mm.]

Ji Su: [Go shower.]

Just after sending that message, he received a WeChat friend request.

Ji Su looked at it carefully and clicked accept.

July: [Hi, senior! I'm a Dance Society member that Lin Yan senior introduced — my name is Han Meng~]

July: [You can call me Mengmeng, senior~]

Ji Su: '?'

He looked at the words in the chat window and, for the first time, felt that the world really was this small.

So their School actually had a girl called Mengmeng…

Ji Su: [Hello, I'm Ji Su.]

July: [Mm-mm, I know!]

July: [I had the good fortune to hear you play that Piano piece before — I fell in love with it right away!]

Ji Su: [Thanks.]

July: [I've already choreographed the dance — can we rehearse together tomorrow?]

Ji Su: [Sure, I'm free any time after noon tomorrow.]

July: [Does two in the afternoon tomorrow work?]

Ji Su: [Works for me.]

July: [Great, then it's a date with senior — see you there!]

After ending the chat, Ji Su hesitated for a moment, but still didn't change the contact's WeChat remark to her name.

*

The next day was Saturday. After getting up in the morning and sketching for a while, Ji Su headed to Music Society after lunch.

No one was at Music Society. He lifted the Piano's lid, and the scenes from last night inevitably rose up before his eyes again.

This music classroom, this Piano — they had borne too much that they should never have had to bear…

'Senior!' Just as he was lost in thought, a crisp, girlish voice rang out from behind him.

Ji Su turned around. 'Hello.'

The girl, her hair in a ponytail, said with a smile: 'Senior, you're here so early — I'm not late, am I?'

'No.' Ji Su gave a small smile. 'I only just got here myself.'

Han Meng set down her bag. 'Then let's begin, senior.'

Ji Su sat down at the Piano. 'Should I just start playing?'

Han Meng did a few simple warm-up moves. 'Senior, take a look at the dance I've choreographed first.'

Ji Su asked: 'Don't you need me to accompany you?'

Han Meng said, curious: 'Can you do two things at once, senior?'

'This piece, I can.' Ji Su explained. 'I've practiced it too many times — I'm pretty familiar with it.'

Han Meng smiled sweetly: 'That's wonderful.'

Piano notes poured down, and Han Meng stepped to the beat and began to dance.

The piano piece 'Look Forward' is named for expectation, but in truth the music contains no especially strong yearning — the whole piece is calm and warm, like the gentle sunshine of a spring day, offering hope.

Only, the one playing the Piano wove into it a faint, thread-like loneliness.

And Han Meng's choreography caught that single thread of emotion with precision.

When the piece ended, the dance slid to a close as smoothly as silk.

Ji Su praised her sincerely: 'You danced beautifully.'

'Thank you, senior.' Han Meng raised a hand to wipe the sweat from her brow. 'But it's your playing that's my real source of inspiration.'

Ji Su pulled a tissue from his pocket and handed it to her: 'Wipe your sweat.'

Han Meng took the tissue: 'Thank you, you're so thoughtful, senior.'

Ji Su: 'You're welcome.'

'Just now I thought of some new moves, so I still need to adjust the choreography.' Han Meng looked at him. 'Could you run through it with me once more, senior?'

Ji Su nodded: 'No problem.'

By the time rehearsal ended, evening had already fallen.

Han Meng invited: 'Senior, shall we go to the cafeteria for dinner together?'

Ji Su declined gently: 'Sorry, I have something else to do later.'

'Alright.' Han Meng smiled at him. 'Then let's do it together next time we get the chance!'

On the way back to the Dormitory, Ji Su felt vaguely that something was missing from the day.

The phone in his hand buzzed; he looked at the screen and opened WeChat.

Gu Zhao: [Have you eaten dinner yet?]

Ji Su: [Not yet, just finished practicing the Piano.]

Gu Zhao: [No matter how busy you are, remember to eat dinner.]

Ji Su's brow furrowed slightly, and at last he knew what had been missing.

All day today, Gu Zhao had not appeared before him.

Ji Su: [You too.]

Gu Zhao: [I can't eat.]

Ji Su: [What's wrong?]

Gu Zhao: [I think I have a fever.]

Ji Su's heart tightened, and his fingertips flew across the keyboard.

Ji Su: [Did you go to the hospital?]

Ji Su: [Did you catch a cold from the rain last night?]

Gu Zhao: [Didn't go to the hospital.]

Gu Zhao: [It's nothing.]

Ji Su: [Have you taken any medicine then?]

Gu Zhao: [Don't have any medicine.]

Ji Su: [You could order a delivery runner to buy medicine.]

Gu Zhao: [Too lazy to call.]

Ji Su was nearly defeated by this person, so anxious he almost stamped his foot.

Ji Su: [Are you in the Dormitory?]

Gu Zhao: [No, went home.]

Ji Su: [Alright, rest first.]

Ji Su changed direction and walked straight toward the School clinic.

After buying a big bag of medicine, he took a taxi to Gu Zhao's Residence, then bought hot porridge near the compound and brought it all up.

Ji Su keyed in the front door code with practiced ease and pushed the door open.

A single lamp was lit in the living room; Gu Zhao lay on the sofa, and because his frame was so tall, one long leg still rested on the floor.

'Gu Zhao.' Ji Su called softly. 'Are you alright?'

Gu Zhao lifted the hand covering his face and looked toward him: 'How did you get here?'

The moment he spoke, his voice was hoarse.

'I bought you medicine, you need to take it first.' Ji Su walked over and set the medicine and porridge on the coffee table. 'If the fever hasn't broken by morning, you'll have to go to the hospital.'

Gu Zhao's gaze followed him as he moved, saying nothing.

Ji Su stopped in front of the sofa and crouched down: 'Last night, didn't you listen to me? You didn't shower right away when you got back?'

Gu Zhao replied: 'I did.'

'Then how did you get a fever?' Ji Su knit his brow, reached up to touch his forehead, and flinched as the heat seared his fingertips.

The next instant, a burning large hand caught his fingers.

'You're worried about me?' Gu Zhao gazed at him without blinking. Perhaps because of the fever, his dark pupils were brighter than usual, as though washed clean by water.

Ji Su's heartbeat began to race again; he forced himself to stay composed: 'You got a fever because of me, of course I'm worried.'

If Gu Zhao hadn't come out to bring him an umbrella, tilting it toward his side, he wouldn't have fallen ill.

Gu Zhao kept staring at him: 'Only for that reason?'

'And also...' Ji Su lowered his lashes. 'You're my friend, of course I'd worry about you.'

'Are you like this with all your friends?' Gu Zhao stroked the back of his hand with his thumb. 'Buying medicine, delivering it in person, taking care of them yourself.'

'Yes...' Ji Su felt the skin on the back of his hand burning, and tried to pull his hand free.

Gu Zhao released his hand and covered his face again: 'It's not the answer I wanted, but the fact that you came — I'm glad.'

Ji Su pressed his lips together: 'I'll get you some water.'

He returned with warm water, tipped out a fever-reducing pill: 'Take the fever medicine first.'

Gu Zhao sat up halfway and took the pill from Ji Su's hand.

His scalding lips brushed Ji Su's soft palm, and an even hotter tongue slipped out, licking wetly across it.

Ji Su snatched his hand back as though shocked, his ears reddening.

Gu Zhao took a sip of water and swallowed the pill.

'Have some porridge too.' Ji Su opened the insulated bag. 'It's still warm.'

'You haven't eaten either, have you?' Gu Zhao took the spoon. 'Let's eat together.'

The two of them shared the hot porridge; Ji Su tidied the coffee table and urged: 'Go lie down in bed, sleeping on the sofa will only make you colder.'

Gu Zhao stood, his tall frame swaying slightly.

Ji Su caught him on instinct, swinging his arm over his own shoulder: 'I'll help you in.'

In the angle Ji Su couldn't see, the corner of Gu Zhao's mouth curved into a smile.

Ji Su struggled to support him into the bedroom, lowered him onto the bed, and drew the light coverlet up: 'Rest well, I'm heading back to School now.'

Gu Zhao reached out one hand and caught his wrist: 'Can you not leave tonight?'

Ji Su bit his lip: 'I'll come see you again tomorrow.'

'Alright.' Gu Zhao's grip loosened, his hand sliding slowly down. 'Don't worry about me, go back.'

Ji Su was silent for a few seconds; in the end he couldn't set his heart at rest: 'Sleep first, I'll sleep on the sofa tonight.'

If the fever spiked in the night, with no one to look after him it would be too dangerous.

Ji Su went into the bathroom to take a shower.

Holding the white shirt in his hands, his mind uncontrollably recalled what Gu Zhao had said, and his ears began to burn again.

He wanted to throw the white shirt away, but he didn't want to walk out bare, so he could only console himself that it was clean now anyway.

After showering, Ji Su came out of the bathroom and headed straight for the sofa.

'Come up and sleep.' Gu Zhao turned on his side. 'The sofa isn't comfortable.'

'No need.' Ji Su refused. 'Your sofa is quite comfortable for me.'

'What?' Gu Zhao's voice was low and hoarse, his tone carrying a trace of self-mockery. 'I'm this sick, and you're still afraid I'll do something to you?'

Ji Su: 'That's not what I meant...'

'Understood.' Gu Zhao rolled back over. 'I won't force you.'

It was still early; Ji Su wasn't sleepy, so he sat on the sofa playing with his phone for a while.

Around eleven, he rose from the sofa, walked to the bed, and reached out to press his palm against Gu Zhao's forehead — the temperature seemed to have come down a little.

Gu Zhao's eyes were closed; perhaps seeking the coolness, he unconsciously nuzzled his forehead against Ji Su's palm.

Ji Su's heart softened, and so did his gaze.

A person who usually seemed invincible, as though he could hold everything firmly in his grasp forever — once he fell ill, even he could become this fragile.

'Cold...' Gu Zhao murmured.

'Cold?' Ji Su came back to himself and pulled the coverlet up, only to be gathered into Gu Zhao's arms.

Even through the coverlet, the heat of the boy's body came through with unmistakable clarity.

Ji Su could only lie down carefully on one side, letting the other hold him.

But soon he felt Gu Zhao's temperature climbing higher and higher, frighteningly hot.

'Gu Zhao...' Ji Su called softly. 'I think you really should go to the hospital.'

The next instant, Gu Zhao opened his eyes, and two flames burned in their depths.

Ji Su started in fright and instinctively struggled.

'Don't move.' Gu Zhao spoke low, his voice seeming even hoarser than before.

Ji Su's body went rigid, and his face flushed crimson in an instant.

Wasn't he sick? How could a sick person still be so...

So full of vim and vigor?