Chapter 44

Ji Su's ears went crimson; he tried to struggle, tried to escape, but a burning large hand pinned him to the sofa, utterly still.

Unable to bear it, he rubbed the back of his head against the sofa; long, slender fingers slid into the thick, dark hair.

The night by the sea wasn't especially warm; a salty, damp breeze drifted in.

But Ji Su's whole body had broken out in a fine, dense sweat; his fingers had gone wet and slippery, unable to grip the roots of that hair, sliding away as if drained of strength.

Gu Zhao lifted his gaze to watch his expression, then drew out one hand; his bony, well-defined fingers laced one by one into Ji Su's sweat-slicked finger gaps, kneading again and again.

Ji Su bit down on his lower lip, but still couldn't suppress the sweet, sticky sounds that leaked from between his lips.

Until the slender, pale swan-neck arched high, taut into a graceful, lovely curve.

Like a dying swan giving its final lament.

The thigh cradled in Gu Zhao's palm trembled pitifully as well.

He narrowed his eyes slightly; his fingers, beyond his control, pressed harder, leaving several vivid finger-marks on the pale, soft flesh of the thigh.

Pale, faintly flushed toes curled into a ball; Ji Su lay sprawled on the sofa like a fish out of water, his mind a complete blank.

The slightly upturned corners of his eyes were wet and red; the flush spread from his cheeks all the way down to his chest, every inch of exposed skin looking as though it had been thoroughly steamed, glowing with a ripened red.

Gu Zhao pressed down again, kissing the corner of his lips; his tongue, practiced, pried open the seam of his mouth.

'Mm—' Ji Su's mouth was filled with a strange taste; he couldn't help frowning and turning his face away.

Gu Zhao raised a hand to grip his pointed chin, forcing his face back, and laughed in a hoarse voice: 'Disgusted with yourself?'

Ji Su pushed at him weakly. 'Don't...'

Gu Zhao opened his mouth and bit down on the swollen lip, worrying the flesh with just enough pressure. 'Use and discard?'

Ji Su shook his head weakly, only to be pinned down and kissed hard, thoroughly.

After a long moment, Gu Zhao drew back slightly; his gaze was so dark it seemed on the verge of dripping ink. 'Out of respect for your birthday today, I'll let you off.'

Ji Su, afraid he might change his mind, said in a trembling voice: 'Gu Zhao, I want to wash up...'

He'd sweated so much, and there had been tears and unnamed fluids; the shower he'd taken earlier had been for nothing.

Gu Zhao stood, one arm hooking around the back of Ji Su's sweat-damp knees, and lifted him from the sofa.

Ji Su let out a small cry and instinctively wrapped his arms tight around Gu Zhao's neck.

Gu Zhao carried him into the bathroom, set him on the counter, and bent to kiss him once. 'Let me wash you, alright?'

'Don't...' Ji Su shook his head. 'I can do it myself.'

Gu Zhao stared at him for a few seconds, then let go and reminded him: 'Don't take too long.'

When Ji Su slid down from the counter to the floor, his thighs were still trembling slightly.

As someone with no experience at all, what Gu Zhao had done to him far exceeded anything he could bear...

When Ji Su walked out of the bathroom again, the room was empty; only the faint sound of splashing water could be heard from the other bathroom.

Ji Su was no longer the innocent person he'd been before; in a second he realized what Gu Zhao was doing in the bathroom.

Blushing, he walked to the sofa; just as he was about to lie down, he remembered what had happened on it not long ago, and couldn't bring himself to lie there no matter what.

Ji Su hesitated, but in the end climbed onto the bed, curling into the corner at the edge, taking up only a small patch of space.

He'd thought he wouldn't be able to sleep, but he'd drunk wine that evening, and been thoroughly satisfied; now drowsiness crept over him, irresistible.

When Gu Zhao returned, what he saw was the figure on the bed, fast asleep.

He stood beside the bed watching for a while; his gaze fell on the exposed section of a snow-white, delicate leg, and he noticed that the finger-marks he'd left hadn't faded — if anything, they'd grown a touch redder.

So delicate, Gu Zhao thought, slowly grinding his back teeth.

When the day finally came for him to be completely devoured, he wondered how loudly he would cry.

But when that day came, he wouldn't soften at all.

Gu Zhao lay down on the other side of the bed, lying on his side and gazing at that quiet, beautiful sleeping face.

Watching and watching, a wicked fire rose in his heart again.

Gu Zhao reached out; his slightly rough fingertip pressed on the red marks he'd made.

Ji Su, in sleep, gave a sensitive little shiver, his brow faintly creasing.

Gu Zhao closed his eyes for a moment, withdrew his hand, and drew the thin coverlet up over him.

*

The next day, Ji Su slept until he woke naturally.

He lay flat on the bed, staring blankly at the unfamiliar ceiling; turning his head to look out the window, he finally remembered where he was.

'Awake?' A low, magnetic voice sounded at his ear.

Ji Su immediately sat up halfway, looking toward the source of the sound.

Gu Zhao was sitting on the sofa opposite, lifting his gaze to look back at him.

Ji Su's eyes, without meaning to, fell on those thin lips; certain X-rated images surfaced in his mind, and he flushed bright red first thing in the morning.

Gu Zhao asked, half-smiling: 'What are you thinking about so early in the morning?'

'Nothing...' Ji Su shifted his gaze away. 'I'm going to wash up.'

He got up from the bed and walked toward the bathroom, trying to ignore the meaningful gaze behind him.

After washing up, the two went out together to sunbathe on the beach.

Gu Zhao took off his shirt, wearing only a pair of black beach shorts, revealing a body of lean, solid muscle that drew the eyes of passersby again and again.

Ji Su also wanted to take off his shirt, but the thought that, next to this man, his own body would look like a poached chicken, made him hesitate.

Gu Zhao glanced at him. 'Don't take yours off.'

'Why?' Ji Su grew indignant. 'Everyone else has.'

'No reason. Afraid you'll get sunburned.' Gu Zhao added, his tone mild: 'Your skin's so tender it goes red at a pinch.'

Ji Su's ears grew hot; he answered softly: 'Got it...'

Gu Zhao lay face-down on the beach chair: 'Help me put on some sunscreen.'

'Oh.' Ji Su responded, dropping to one knee beside him, squeezing sunscreen into his palm, then spreading it across his back.

The moment that soft palm touched skin, the broad, taut muscles of his back tensed at once.

Ji Su was suddenly seized by mischief; his palm pressed against the swelling muscle, sliding down little by little, light and slow.

It wasn't fair that he was the only one always being teased.

The muscle beneath his hand did indeed grow harder and harder; a low, husky voice sounded: 'That's enough.'

Gu Zhao rolled over, facing him: 'Some on the front too.'

Chest muscles and an eight-pack right before his eyes, rising and falling slightly with each breath; the tips of Ji Su's ears quietly reddened.

Gu Zhao urged: 'Faster.'

Ji Su squeezed out more sunscreen, rubbed it between his palms, and let his fingertips touch the firm, sculpted abs.

Gu Zhao: 'Keep going.'

Ji Su's ears red, his gaze wandering, the motions of applying sunscreen grew careless.

But the abs, slick with melted sunscreen, grew slippery; one careless moment and his fingers slid down to the Adonis line.

Gu Zhao gave a low grunt and reached up to catch the slender wrist: 'Where do you think you're touching?'

Ji Su's pupils trembled; seeing with his own eyes a certain terrifying change, he startled backward a step and sat down hard in the sand.

Gu Zhao took two slow, deep breaths and stretched out an arm to pull him up.

Ji Su pushed himself up from the sand on his own, lay down on the beach chair beside him, put on his sunglasses, and tried to hide his flushed face.

Gu Zhao didn't keep teasing him; he quietly sunned himself.

After a while, Ji Su heard a woman's voice: 'Hello.'

He opened his eyes; through the sunglasses he saw a hot-bodied beauty standing in front of Gu Zhao, wearing a bikini, curves and long legs, looking confident and sexy.

The beauty asked, smiling: 'Would you mind if I joined you for some sun?'

Ji Su's heart clenched; he turned his gaze to Gu Zhao.

Because of the angle, he couldn't see the other person's eyes or expression.

But very soon, he heard Gu Zhao reply: 'Not convenient.'

The beauty wasn't discouraged either; with easy grace she asked, 'Then would you mind adding me on WeChat?'

This time, without waiting for Gu Zhao to answer, Ji Su couldn't help but speak up: 'Sorry — he didn't bring his phone.'

The beauty's gaze turned to him; she paused, as if something had dawned on her. 'I see. Sorry for disturbing you two.'

Ji Su watched her leave, then turned his head and met a pair of fathomless eyes. 'What is it?'

Gu Zhao praised him: 'Not bad — you've already learned to help me turn people down.'

Ji Su felt inexplicably irritated and blurted out, 'If you don't want to refuse, there's still time to call her back now.'

Gu Zhao stared at him and laughed. 'Jealous?'

'No.' Ji Su turned his face away, denying it. 'What would I be jealous about?'

'Right, what would you be jealous about?' Gu Zhao straightened up, pinched his chin, and turned his face back. 'After all, in these eyes of mine, there's only room for you.'

Ji Su's heart raced at the sudden words of love; the two stared at each other for a few seconds, and Gu Zhao couldn't help leaning in.

Ji Su came back to his senses, slapped away that large hand, and leaned back to dodge. 'In broad daylight like this — how can you—'

Gu Zhao laughed again. 'You mean it's okay when it's just the two of us?'

Ji Su: 'That's not what I meant!'

But even if he said no, hadn't they already kissed so many times...

Gu Zhao turned back, picked up the T-shirt draped over the armrest of the Beach chair, and pulled it over his head, hiding his muscular body.

Ji Su asked curiously, 'Why are you putting your clothes back on?'

'So a certain someone won't get jealous.' Gu Zhao replied unhurriedly. 'Keeping to the code of male virtue.'

Ji Su: '...'

*

In the afternoon, the two wandered around and came to a stretch of sea suitable for surfing.

Gu Zhao stopped, watching the surfers in the water — boards flipping, bodies tumbling.

'Can you surf too?' Ji Su noticed his gaze and asked softly.

Gu Zhao nodded. 'Mm.'

'Then go play.' Ji Su suggested, taking the initiative. 'It isn't easy to come all the way to the sea — it'd be a shame not to get our money's worth.'

'Want to come along?' Gu Zhao glanced at him sideways. 'I can teach you how to surf.'

'I'll pass.' Ji Su smiled. 'I haven't even learned to swim yet — if I tried surfing, I'd be afraid of drowning in the sea.'

Surfing was indeed a dangerous sport; Gu Zhao didn't keep trying to persuade him. 'Then I'll go play for a while. Wait for me on the shore.'

He changed into a black wetsuit, hugged the surfboard to his chest, and walked out into the sea.

Under the sunlight, wave after wave of white surf surged endlessly toward the shore — fierce, swelling, relentless.

Ji Su stood where he was, his gaze chasing that tall black figure.

Gu Zhao pushed the surfboard into the deep water, lay his body flat against it, waited for a wave to come, and with the wave's help rose swiftly and sped forward.

His surfing skills were excellent; he rode the board through the sea like a fish in water, drawing wave after wave of cheers from the onlookers.

Before long, the other surfers in the same stretch of water gradually came ashore one after another.

Just then, a towering wave began to rise and surge; Gu Zhao lay flat on the board, and the instant the green crest broke, he rose swiftly and tore down its face, the sea water forming whirlwind-like white trails behind him — from a distance, it looked like the tail of a great mermaid.

Ji Su's eyes went wide; he unconsciously held his breath, taking in the rare sight before him.

Gu Zhao raised a hand to signal him — but the next second, his whole body was swallowed by the wave.

Ji Su's heart lurched; he took two steps toward the water. 'Gu Zhao?'

One second. Two seconds. Three seconds—

The person swallowed by the wave never surfaced; Ji Su began to panic, raising his voice. 'Gu Zhao, don't scare me!'

Gu Zhao was such a strong swimmer — nothing could possibly have happened to him.

But that wave had really been enormous — could the surf have knocked him out?

Thinking of this possibility, Ji Su panicked completely and, without a moment's hesitation, ran in great strides toward the sea.

In that instant, he forgot he couldn't swim; striding toward the deep water, he called out at the top of his lungs, 'Gu Zhao! Gu Zhao, where are you?'

The water grew deeper, almost up to his chest, and still he couldn't find that familiar figure.

Just then, the frantic Ji Su finally remembered he should call for help; just as he was about to turn and rush back to shore, he felt his ankle gripped by a large hand — and then his whole body was pulled into the sea.

Before he could struggle, warm lips pressed against his.

Gu Zhao's hands locked around the slender waist, greedily drawing the air from his mouth.

A moment later, Gu Zhao held him close and they surfaced together.

Ji Su gasped for air as if reborn from disaster; tears or water droplets — he couldn't tell which — rolled down his cheeks.

Gu Zhao raised a hand to brush aside the wet hair on his forehead and smiled. 'You were that worried about me?'

Ji Su looked at him, suddenly clenched his fist, and pounded it against the hard chest, cursing as he hit. 'Are you crazy? Do you have any idea you almost scared me to death?'

He cursed fiercely; his usually cool, clear voice carried an unmistakable sob, and his eyes had gone very red.

Gu Zhao froze for a moment, standing perfectly still and letting the person in his arms vent.

When his knuckles began to ache from pounding, Ji Su pushed him instead. 'Let go of me.'

The large hand on the slender waist tightened; Gu Zhao apologized in a low voice, 'I'm sorry — it was my fault. I shouldn't have scared you like that.'

'You... you're really too hateful!' Ji Su, unable to contain his anger, lowered his head and bit down hard on his shoulder.

Gu Zhao felt the pain, his Adam's apple bobbing. 'Ji Su — why were you so worried about me? Worried enough to come save me without caring about your own safety?'

Ji Su released his bite and replied, sulky, 'Anyone who fell into the sea, I'd go save them.'

'Is that so?' Gu Zhao released his waist, his dark eyes fixed unblinkingly on him. 'So you really don't like me at all?'

Ji Su pressed his lips together, unwilling to answer the question.

Gu Zhao spread his arms. 'In that case, you don't need to care whether I live or die.'

Having said that, he leaned back and sank once more into the cold sea.

'Gu Zhao!' Ji Su's heart lurched; instinctively he reached out to grab him, but couldn't even catch the other's fingertips.

Without thinking, he held his breath and sank into the water after him.

The sea was clear to the bottom; Gu Zhao stretched out his arms, gathered him into his embrace, and kissed him hard.

The two kissed in the water; between their intertwined lips and tongues, small bubbles escaped the tightly pressed seam of their mouths, gurgling upward.

Gu Zhao surfaced with him and continued to kiss him — fierce and wild, as if he meant to devour him whole.

When the kiss ended, all the air had been drawn from Ji Su's lungs; his brain was starved of oxygen, and he stood unsteadily, dizzy and faint.

Gu Zhao held his waist in a death grip, pressed his lips to Ji Su's ear, and said in a tone of absolute certainty, 'Ji Su — you like me too.'

Ji Su couldn't say a single word; he could only hang on the other's body, like a drowning man clinging to his last piece of driftwood.

Gu Zhao lifted him horizontally into his arms and walked, step by step, out of the deep water.

Ji Su gradually came back to himself in his arms, murmuring almost to himself, 'Madman...'

Gu Zhao laughed — low and muffled, his chest vibrating faintly. 'Too late to find out I'm a madman now.'

He walked up onto the shore and lowered his eyes. 'A madman's love — do you want it?'

Ji Su didn't answer; he only raised one hand, pressed his palm to the soaked chest, and felt the strong, pounding heartbeat beneath it.

For a long time, he had always felt hollow inside — like a cotton doll with its stuffing pulled out, wind whistling through the empty space.

But at this moment, he felt as if the heartbeat beneath his palm had filled him up.

It turned out the emptiness left by not being loved could be refilled by love.

As long as there was enough of it.

Ji Su slowly lowered his hand and buried his face in the crook of Gu Zhao's neck.