46

Rain drummed against the umbrella in a fine, muffled percussion. Lu Heyang held the umbrella in one hand and the gift in the other, touching Xu Ze with nothing but his lips. Xu Ze had stood in the rain too long — his lips were a little cool, but that didn't change how soft they were. The sort of mouth, indeed, that invited kissing.

Xu Ze only surfaced from his daze at the instant the bite of pain registered; surfacing didn't help much either. He still couldn't assemble a complete chain of cause and effect in his head, but right now that didn't seem to be the most urgent matter.

The reason didn't matter; whatever came of it didn't matter either. This had always been Xu Ze's way of thinking where his feelings for Lu Heyang were concerned. Even if the next second Lu Heyang stepped back three paces and told him 'I was just drunk,' Xu Ze wouldn't have minded — would only have nodded and said it was fine.

Xu Ze responded to the kiss clumsily, at a loss — he imagined he was responding, but in fact his whole body had gone rigid, unable to move, his hands hanging at his sides with no idea where to put them, his fingers curled slightly inward.

He was so tense that breathing through his nose was no longer enough, so he opened his mouth — but Lu Heyang wasn't going to give him air; he kissed deeper instead. Xu Ze couldn't help lifting his hands to grip Lu Heyang's T-shirt, his back pressed against the tree trunk.

The mouth is a kind of body's interior, and a kiss is a kind of being entered. Xu Ze felt his own panting had drowned out the rain. Eyes shut tight, he carefully, clumsily, tried to tangle with Lu Heyang's tongue, exchanging saliva that was rain and Pheromone mingled.

Lu Heyang kept his eyes open the entire time, watching at close range the raindrops sliding past the corner of Xu Ze's eye — like tears.

He lifted his head; Xu Ze opened his eyes at the same moment, his face wearing that expression of someone who has just woken from a dream and is still trying to catch hold of it.

That expression, in the dim rainy night, gave off a sense of loneliness — as though from it one could imagine Xu Ze waking, day after day, year after year, alone in that empty house. Only one couldn't know whether Xu Ze had ever had good dreams. Lu Heyang wiped the rainwater from Xu Ze's chin — or perhaps saliva — and said, 'Let's go.'

Xu Ze's gaze went blank; he licked the corner of his mouth without thinking, and followed Lu Heyang back to the sidewalk. They walked side by side to the car. Xu Ze stopped, intending to wait for Lu Heyang to get in before leaving, but Lu Heyang pulled open the passenger door and said, 'Get in.'

'I'll get home on my own.' Xu Ze looked at the hand Lu Heyang had wrapped around the umbrella handle, doing his best to organize his words. 'It's too late — you should go back.'

'Get in,' Lu Heyang repeated, briefly.

Xu Ze got in. The car didn't drive forward; it turned around. Xu Ze sat stiffly in the passenger seat, having forgotten to buckle his seatbelt, looking dazed.

The whole way was silent, nothing left but the sound of raindrops striking the car. Arriving at the front door, Xu Ze lingered in a daze for another second before opening the door and stepping out, walking through the gate with Lu Heyang.

The living room was brightly lit. He Wei and Gu Yunchi sat on the sofa eating dessert; at the sound of the door they turned their heads, and on seeing Xu Ze trailing behind Lu Heyang, soaked through like a drowned rat, He Wei felt startled. 'Xu Ze?'

The housekeeper came out of her room as well. Lu Heyang asked her to make a bowl of ginger soup, then led Xu Ze upstairs. He Wei's gaze followed them all the way until they entered the guest room. He Wei turned back and asked Gu Yunchi, 'What's going on? What is this?'

Gu Yunchi glanced at him, too lazy to answer.

'Run yourself a bath — there are clean towels in the bathroom.' Lu Heyang flipped the switch to fill the tub with hot water. 'Stay in the room after you've washed.'

Not hearing a sound, Lu Heyang turned to look — Xu Ze was still standing by the door, dazed, his wet black fringe hanging over his forehead; when their eyes met, his gaze darted quickly away.

Lu Heyang walked over, crooked his right index finger, and pressed the back of it against Xu Ze's slightly swollen lower lip. 'Did you hear me?'

Xu Ze nodded.

'How did Xu Ze end up here?' The moment Lu Heyang came downstairs, He Wei asked him.

'To drop something off.'

'Drop what off? A birthday present?'

Lu Heyang said nothing. He Wei let out a 'wow.' 'How is he this nice — beaten up like that and still running over to bring you a gift.'

But He Wei was also a little puzzled. Logically, a person's lips should be pale after standing in the rain, but Xu Ze's weren't — they were in fact much redder than usual.

Probably the match, He Wei thought — redness brought on by injury.

About ten minutes later the ginger soup was ready. Lu Heyang told the housekeeper to go back to her room, and carried the ginger soup to the guest room himself. The bathroom was quiet. Lu Heyang knocked on the door. 'The ginger soup is on the table. Remember to drink it.'

Xu Ze made a small 'mm.'

When Lu Heyang came downstairs again, He Wei, in an expectant posture: 'Has Xu Ze finished his bath? When's he coming down?'

'He won't be coming down,' Lu Heyang said.

'?' He Wei was puzzled. 'I saved him dessert on purpose — what does he mean, not coming down? I wanted to have a chat with him.'

Lu Heyang glanced toward the floor-to-ceiling window. 'The rain's about to stop.'

Gu Yunchi closed out his game. 'He Wei, let's go.'

'Huh?'

It was indeed getting late. He Wei wrestled with himself for a few seconds, then left with Gu Yunchi. Lu Heyang went upstairs to his own room — he too had been rained on, and needed to wash his hair and shower.

His hair half-dried, Lu Heyang switched off the blow dryer, went to the drawer for something, then opened his door and stepped out, making his way to the guest room door.

He raised his hand to knock, and the door opened almost at once — opened perhaps a ten-centimeter crack. Xu Ze had only a towel wrapped around his lower half, standing somewhat stiffly behind the door. Lu Heyang's instruction to stay in the room after bathing had actually been superfluous, because Xu Ze had no clothes to wear and could only stay in the room anyway.

Xu Ze lowered his head to look at Lu Heyang's hand, to see whether Lu Heyang had brought him clothes. He looked like some animal that had been mishandled after capture — wounded, peering out through the bars of its cage at a person, his searching gaze silent and cautious.

No clothes — Lu Heyang's hands were empty. Xu Ze saw Lu Heyang's hand settle on the door handle and push inward; Xu Ze stepped back to make room. Lu Heyang said nothing, and Xu Ze didn't ask.

This was Lu Heyang's house. Xu Ze was constantly prepared to be told to leave — as long as Lu Heyang lent him clothes to wear. Not lending was fine too; he could wear his wet things home.

The door opened; Lu Heyang walked in, and shut it behind him with the back of his hand.

Xu Ze stood there, hair not yet dried, hands hanging at his sides. There was a very distinct bite mark in the middle of his lower lip, an imprint of fresh red blood.

He felt Lu Heyang examining him with that habitual, composed gaze, while he himself was like a prisoner who, under such a gaze, seemed to owe some kind of accounting — something along the lines of, I've already finished the ginger soup, washed the bowl too, I should be getting back. He was only assembling a rough version of it in his mind; he hadn't spoken it yet.

Just as he was about to speak, Lu Heyang tilted his head down slightly and leaned toward him. Xu Ze thought he was about to say something, so he instinctively raised his head to listen. The angle, when he looked up, was just right — as though by tacit agreement he were offering his lips to Lu Heyang. If Xu Ze had known Lu Heyang had come to kiss him, perhaps he wouldn't have had the courage to make that gesture.

Lu Heyang pushed him against the wall; his back met the surface, the cold of it making Xu Ze shiver.

…

'Go take a shower.' Lu Heyang came out of the bathroom, the back of his hand lightly patting Xu Ze's hip.

Xu Ze's face was still buried in the pillow. He groped for the towel and pulled it over to cover himself beneath. 'I'll go in a bit.'

'Washing yourself?' Lu Heyang stood by the bed, impeccably dressed and fresh, not pressing Xu Ze. In a perfectly ordinary tone he said, 'You need to put your fingers inside, otherwise it won't come clean.'

Xu Ze drew his shoulders in; only after a few seconds did he make an 'mm.'

'Anywhere hurt?' Lu Heyang's gaze slid down from Xu Ze's sweat-damp back and paused on his poor buttocks, only half-covered by the towel. 'I avoided every place on you that was injured.'

He had avoided them — so thoroughly that Xu Ze's originally unhurt nape and waist now still carried the feeling of having been gripped hard and not let go.

'Nothing hurts.'

'Then I'll head back to my room,' Lu Heyang said.

Xu Ze hesitated a moment, turned his head, and revealed half his face. His voice was a little hoarse; he said quietly, 'Happy birthday.'

Braving the heavy rain to deliver a present, and yet a 'happy birthday' had to be weighed and weighed again before it could leave his mouth. Lu Heyang bent down, looked at Xu Ze's slightly damp lashes, and answered, 'Received.'

His fingers slid into Xu Ze's half-dried hair, and he kissed Xu Ze — a very short kiss.

Walking out of the guest room, Lu Heyang raised his eyes; his gaze passed, unobtrusively, over the surveillance camera in the hallway. He had done it only once — from entering the guest room to now — which fell within a normal span of time; he hadn't lingered an excessive length.