Elegant Depravity

To prevent the old Lan pedant and his little copy from hauling him out of bed in the dead of night for punishment, Wei Wuxian slept the whole night hugging his sword. Who knew the night would pass so peacefully — the very next day, Nie Huaisang sought him out with barely concealed delight: ‘Brother Wei, you are truly bathed in good fortune! The old man departed for Qinghe last night to attend my family's discussion conference. No lectures for the next few days!’

With the old one gone and only the little one left, how hard could it be! Wei Wuxian scrambled up, tugged on his boots, and rejoiced: ‘Fortune truly sits upon my head, auspicious clouds canopy my crown — heaven aids me indeed!’

Jiang Cheng was carefully wiping his sword to the side, dousing him with cold water: ‘When he returns, you still won't escape a punishment.’

Wei Wuxian said: ‘While I'm alive, why worry about what happens after death? Enjoy the days as they come. Come on, I refuse to believe there aren't a few pheasants to be found in these Lan family hills.’

Three of them with arms slung over shoulders, passing by the receiving hall's Elegant Chamber in the Cloud Recesses, Wei Wuxian suddenly let out an ‘Eh?’ and stopped, exclaiming in surprise: ‘Two little stick-in-the-... Lan Zhan!’

From the Elegant Chamber emerged several people, led by two youths, both with features carved of ice and jade, both clad in white robes like snow, even the sword tassels on their backs swaying in the wind along with their ribbons — only their bearing and expressions differed greatly. Wei Wuxian immediately distinguished: the one with a stern face was Lan Wangji, and the gentle one must be the other half of the Twin Jades of Lan, Zewu-jun Lan Xichen.

Lan Wangji, upon seeing Wei Wuxian, furrowed his brow and shot him a glare that was almost vicious, as if one more second of looking would contaminate him, then shifted his gaze far into the distance. Lan Xichen smiled, ‘You two are...?’

Jiang Cheng gave a salute: ‘Jiang Wanyin of Yunmeng.’

Wei Wuxian saluted likewise: ‘Wei Wuxian of Yunmeng.’

Lan Xichen returned the salute, while Nie Huaisang's voice was as faint as a mosquito: ‘Xichen-gege.’

Lan Xichen said: ‘Huaisang, I came from Qinghe not long ago, and your elder brother asked after your studies. So? Will you pass this year?’

Nie Huaisang said: ‘Mo... most likely I can...’ He looked like a withered gourd hit by frost, and cast a pleading glance at Wei Wuxian. Wei Wuxian grinned: ‘Zewu-jun, what are you all setting out to do?’

Lan Xichen said: ‘Exterminating water abominations. We were short-handed, so I came back to fetch Wangji.’

Lan Wangji said coldly: ‘Brother, why waste words? There's no time to lose, let us depart.’

Wei Wuxian quickly said: ‘Wait, wait, wait. Catching water ghosts — I know how! Zewu-jun, how about bringing us along?’

Lan Xichen smiled without speaking, while Lan Wangji said: ‘Against the rules.’

Wei Wuxian said: ‘What's against the rules? We often catch water ghosts in Yunmeng. Besides, there are no lectures these days.’

Yunmeng has plenty of lakes and rivers and abounds in water abominations; the Jiang family is indeed skilled at this. Jiang Cheng, keen to make up for the face the Yunmeng Jiang Clan had lost at the Lan family's place these days, said: ‘Indeed, Zewu-jun, we can certainly be of help.’

‘No need. The Gusu Lan Clan also...’ Lan Wangji hadn't finished when Lan Xichen smiled and said: ‘Very well, our thanks then. Prepare and we'll set out together. Huaisang, will you come too?’

Although Nie Huaisang wanted to tag along for the excitement, meeting Lan Xichen made him think of his own elder brother, and his heart quailed. Not daring to play around, he said: ‘I won't go, I'll go back and review...’ He put on this act, hoping that next time Lan Xichen could put in a few good words for him with his brother. Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng then returned to their rooms to prepare.

Watching their retreating figures, Lan Wangji furrowed his brows in bafflement: ‘Brother, why bring them along? Exorcising abominations is no place for jokes and horseplay.’

Lan Xichen said: ‘Jiang-zongzhu's head disciple and only son have long had an excellent reputation in Yunmeng; they may not only be about jokes and horseplay.’

Lan Wangji made no reply, but his face was a picture of ‘I beg to differ.’

Lan Xichen added: ‘Besides, aren't you willing to let him go?’

Lan Wangji was stupefied.

Lan Xichen said: ‘I saw your expression, and it seemed you rather wanted Jiang-zongzhu's eldest disciple to come along, so I agreed.’

Before the Elegant Chamber, silence froze like ice.

After a long moment, Lan Wangji managed with difficulty: ‘There is absolutely no such thing.’

He was about to defend himself further when Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng, with swords strapped on, came flying back at supernatural speed. Lan Wangji could only shut his mouth and remain silent. The group then set off on their swords.

The place where the water ghosts were causing trouble was called Caiyi Town, over twenty li from the Cloud Recesses.

Caiyi Town was threaded through with waterways — one couldn't tell whether it was the town crisscrossed by a dense web of rivers, or the spider web of rivers lined tightly with houses on either bank. White walls, grey tiles; the channels were crammed with boats and baskets and crates, men and women. Flowers and vegetables, bamboo carvings and pastries, bean tea and silk floss — all traded along the river.

Gusu lies in Jiangnan, and every sound that reaches the ear is soft and gentle. Two boats collided head-on, capsizing a few jars of glutinous rice wine, and even the two boatmen arguing sounded like warbling orioles. Yunmeng has many lakes, but seldom such a water-town settlement. Finding it novel, Wei Wuxian took out money and bought two jars of glutinous rice wine, handed one to Jiang Cheng, and said: ‘Gusu people talk so sweetly. This is arguing? If they saw how Yunmeng people argue, it'd scare them to death... Lan Zhan, why are you looking at me? It's not that I'm stingy and won't buy you any, but isn't your family not allowed to drink?’

Without lingering, they boarded over a dozen slender little boats and rowed toward the gathering place of the water abominations. Gradually, the houses on both banks grew sparser, and the waterway turned quiet. Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng each took a boat, racing to see who could row faster while listening to the details of the local water abominations.

This watercourse led to a large lake ahead called Biling Lake. For decades, Caiyi Town had never been troubled by water ghosts, but in recent months, people had been falling into the water along this channel and Biling Lake with alarming frequency, and cargo ships had been sinking without cause. A few days ago, Lan Xichen had set up an array and cast a net here, thinking to catch one or two, but to his surprise, they hauled in over a dozen water ghosts in a row. They washed the faces of the corpses and took them to nearby towns to ask around, only to find that many of the bodies went unclaimed; no one local recognized them. Yesterday, they set up the array again and, unbelievably, caught quite a few more.

Wei Wuxian said: ‘If they drowned somewhere else and drifted here with the current, that doesn't quite fit either. Water abominations are territorial; they usually stick to one body of water — the place they drowned — and rarely leave.’

Lan Xichen nodded: ‘Correct. That's why I sensed this matter was no small thing, and had Wangji come along as well, to prepare for the unexpected.’

Wei Wuxian said: ‘Zewu-jun, water ghosts are very clever. If we row around searching slowly like this, and they hide at the bottom and refuse to come out, won't we be searching forever? What if we can't find them?’

Lan Wangji said: ‘Search until we find them. It is our duty.’

Wei Wuxian said: ‘Just using nets to catch them?’

Lan Xichen said: ‘Indeed. Does the Yunmeng Jiang Clan have another method?’

Wei Wuxian smiled without answering. Of course the Yunmeng Jiang Clan also used nets, but relying on his excellent swimming skills, he had always jumped straight into the river and dragged the water ghosts up directly. That method was too dangerous; he definitely couldn't use it in front of Lan family people — if word reached Lan Qiren's ears, he'd undoubtedly get another lecture. He changed the subject: ‘If only there were something, like bait, that could attract the water ghosts to come on their own. Or something that could point out their location, like a compass.’

Jiang Cheng said: ‘Keep your head down and look at the water, focus on your search. There you go with your wild ideas again.’

Wei Wuxian said: ‘Cultivating immortality and riding swords, those were once wild ideas too!’

He lowered his head, and happened to catch sight of the bottom of the boat Lan Wangji was riding, an idea flashed into his mind, and he called out: ‘Lan Zhan, look at me!’

Lan Wangji was on full alert, but upon hearing this, he involuntarily looked over — only to see Wei Wuxian sweep the bamboo pole in his hand, sending a splash of water flying his way with a loud swish. Lan Wangji tapped his foot and lightly leaped onto another boat, evading the splash. Annoyed that Wei Wuxian had indeed come for jokes and horseplay, he said: ‘Childish!’

Wei Wuxian, however, kicked the gunwale of the boat Lan Wangji had been standing on, flipped it over with a flick of his pole, and exposed the bottom. And there, clinging firmly to the planks of the boat's bottom, were three water ghosts with bloated faces and deathly pale skin!

The nearby disciples immediately subdued the three. Lan Xichen smiled: ‘Wei-gongzi, how did you know they were under the boat?’

Wei Wuxian rapped the gunwale: ‘Simple! The draft was off. That boat was carrying only him just now, but it sat lower in the water than a boat with two people — something had to be clinging to the bottom.’

Lan Xichen praised: ‘Truly experienced indeed.’

Wei Wuxian lightly paddled the water, sending his small boat darting alongside Lan Wangji's. With the two boats side by side, he said: ‘Lan Zhan, I didn't splash you on purpose just now. Water ghosts are cunning; if I'd said anything, they'd have heard and fled. Hey, talk to me. Look at me, Lan-er-gongzi.’

Lan Wangji condescended to pay him attention, gave him a look, and said: ‘Why did you follow?’

Wei Wuxian said earnestly: ‘I came to make amends and apologize. What I did last night was wrong; I was mistaken.’

Lan Wangji's forehead was faintly shadowed. Probably he still hadn't forgotten how Wei Wuxian had once ‘made amends’ to him before. Wei Wuxian asked with feigned innocence: ‘Why do you look so grim? Don't worry, today I truly came to help.’

Jiang Cheng couldn't stand it any longer and said: ‘If you're going to help, cut the chatter and get over here!’

A disciple shouted: ‘The net moved!’

Sure enough, the net rope suddenly shook violently. Wei Wuxian's spirits lifted: ‘They're coming, they're coming!’

Thick, black-silk-like long hair churned in unison beside the dozens of small boats, and pairs of ghastly pale palms grabbed onto the gunwales. Lan Wangji drew his sword with a reverse grip, Bichen unsheathed, and sliced through over a dozen wrists on the left side, leaving behind only palms with fingers still deeply embedded in the wood. Just as he was about to strike the right side, a flash of red light passed, and Wei Wuxian had already sheathed his sword.

The disturbance in the water ceased, and the net rope calmed once more. Wei Wuxian's earlier strike had been extremely swift, but Lan Wangji could already tell that the sword he carried was certainly a spirit sword of the highest grade, and he asked solemnly: ‘What is this sword's name?’

Wei Wuxian said: ‘Suibian.’

Lan Wangji looked at him. Wei Wuxian thought he hadn't heard clearly, so he repeated: ‘Suibian.’

Lan Wangji knit his brows and refused: ‘This sword has a spirit; calling it casually is disrespectful.’

Wei Wuxian let out an ‘Ai,’ and said: ‘Turn your brain around a bit. I'm not telling you to call it whatever you want; I'm saying this sword of mine is named “Suibian.” Here, look.’ He handed it over so Lan Wangji could see the characters on it clearly. Engraved amid the patterns on the scabbard were two ancient characters, and indeed, they read ‘Suibian.’

Lan Wangji was speechless for a long while.

Wei Wuxian said considerately: ‘You don't have to say it; I know you're dying to ask why I gave it this name. Everyone asks if there's some special meaning. Actually, there's no special meaning. It's just that when Uncle Jiang was bestowing a sword on me, he asked what I wanted to name it. I came up with over twenty names at the time, but none satisfied me, so I thought, I'll let Uncle Jiang pick one for me, and I just answered “Suibian!” Who knew that when the sword was forged and came out of the furnace, those were the two characters on it. Uncle Jiang said, “Well then, let this sword be called Suibian.” Actually, the name's not bad, right?’

At last, Lan Wangji squeezed through gritted teeth: ‘... Absurd!’

Wei Wuxian hefted the sword onto his shoulder and said: ‘You're just no fun. This name is so fun; it hooks every little stick-in-the-mud like you, guaranteed, haha!’

At that moment, in the emerald green lake water, a long black shadow flickered past the small boats. Jiang Cheng, having finished off the water abominations on his side, was still keeping an eye out for any missed ones; the moment he saw that shadow, he immediately shouted: ‘Here we go again!’