Chapter 48

Yu Fan's spine went numb, his nerves tensing and racing out of control.

His mind went blank for a few seconds. He instinctively reached out to push Chen Jingshen, straightening his back to get up from the wall—

Then the hand around his neck tightened again. Chen Jingshen swung one leg over to the other side, half-kneeling as he pressed him back down. The back of Yu Fan's head was forced against the wall as he was kissed even harder. All the blood in Yu Fan's body rushed to his brain, his scalp nerves throbbing. He could feel Chen Jingshen's tongue sweep over the wound in his mouth, then wrap around his own tongue with a sour, astringent sensation.

His scalp actually hurt a little, but that pain of being pulled and controlled made Yu Fan's whole body go weak. His pushing hand slowly relaxed, and finally he grabbed Chen Jingshen's clothes tightly. He was sitting on the floor, but he felt like he could fall into some bottomless black hole at any moment.

The summer cicadas were unusually quiet tonight. The Rundown Neighborhood was silent, as if the whole world had been reduced to the sounds of their breathing and rubbing.

Chen Jingshen kissed so hard. Did other people kiss this hard too? He remembered Zhu Xu kissing his girlfriend—it didn't seem that intense. Yu Fan half-closed his eyes, thinking dazedly.

As soon as that thought flashed by, the hand gripping his neck suddenly loosened. Chen Jingshen let go of his throat, braced his hands on either side of him, and slowly released his hair, rubbing his scalp bit by bit with his fingertips. His kiss became much gentler too. Chen Jingshen rubbed his lips, then rubbed his tongue, kissing him densely. Even though the movements were very light, Yu Fan's body was even more tense than before.

Chen Jingshen must have washed up—he tasted mint. Mint was cool and refreshing, but Yu Fan felt his whole body burning.

At first he could still gasp a couple of times, but later he could only unconsciously hold his breath, tilting his head back to kiss Chen Jingshen with a numb mind. At one point, he even felt like he was going to drown, die in front of Chen Jingshen, die in Chen Jingshen's kiss.

Only when Chen Jingshen let him go did he surface like coming up from water, starting to gasp in short, violent breaths.

The aging lightbulb overhead flickered. The pallor and gloom on Yu Fan's face had all faded; his cheeks looked like they were about to bleed, his eyes hazy and dazed. He kept his eyes lowered, not coming back to himself for a long time.

Chen Jingshen raised a hand and wiped his lips.

Yu Fan's tongue was numb. Only then did he remember to let go of Chen Jingshen's clothes. He slapped at Chen Jingshen's hand that was touching him, but didn't have enough strength to push it away.

His eyes were still very red, but it seemed different from the redness Chen Jingshen had seen when he arrived.

"The fuck... did I say you could kiss me?" Yu Fan gritted his teeth and looked up. But when he saw Chen Jingshen's face, the last few words involuntarily became quiet and slow.

Chen Jingshen still had no expression. But in those usually cold and restrained eyes, there was a bit of ambiguous, chaotic emotion. His ears and cheeks were also unusually colored.

"I didn't say you could kiss me either." Chen Jingshen wiped his lips clean before lowering his hand, his voice slightly hoarse.

Yu Fan: "..."

Yu Fan recalled in a daze for a moment—he had, indeed, kissed Chen Jingshen.

He had been exhausted at the time, so tired it felt like all his organs were on strike. When he saw Chen Jingshen, only Yu Kaiming's words were buzzing in a loop in his mind.

He felt Yu Kaiming was right. He had always thought Yu Kaiming was right.

He hated Yu Kaiming, but in some ways, he and Yu Kaiming were the same kind of person.

They both liked to solve problems with violence, and had since they were kids. When he was young, Yu Kaiming didn't hit him much—most of it was vented on someone else. But every time Yu Kaiming picked up a stick, even though he knew fighting back would get him beaten harder, he would still grit his teeth and go all out against Yu Kaiming.

Once, they ended up with the police at their door. The police listened to the community workers explain for a long time before they believed that Yu Kaiming had started the fight—after all, they rarely encountered domestic violence where the abuser was more injured than the victim.

After that, the community people gave him the address of a psychological counseling center.

Yu Fan never went.

He knew he had problems, so he resisted everyone who showed him affection, including Chen Jingshen.

But just now, when Chen Jingshen stood cleanly in front of him, a thought suddenly flashed through his mind—he wanted to get blood on Chen Jingshen.

People were so contradictory. He wanted Chen Jingshen to leave, and he wanted Chen Jingshen to stay.

His chin was grasped and lifted. Chen Jingshen glanced at his neck, confirming he hadn't touched his wound earlier, and asked again: "Where is that person?"

"Beat him and he ran." Yu Fan snapped back to reality, only then thinking to ask, "...How did you come?"

"The voice message you sent—the last few seconds sounded off." Chen Jingshen asked again, "Can you move?"

"Yeah."

They were too close. Feeling Chen Jingshen's breath, Yu Fan's throat tightened. He looked away and said flatly, "If you don't let go, I'll bite you."

Chen Jingshen let him go. Yu Fan was about to push himself up from the floor when suddenly an arm hooked around his waist—Chen Jingshen lifted him up with one hand.

Before Yu Fan could react, Chen Jingshen let go.

"Want to change clothes?" Chen Jingshen said.

"..." Yu Fan's face was still red. He reached up and ran a hand through his messy hair. "Why change clothes?"

"To go to the Hospital."

Yu Fan didn't even think: "No, just putting on medicine is fine."

Chen Jingshen nodded. "Then I'll call an ambulance."

"?"

Yu Fan really didn't think it was necessary to go to the Hospital. This wasn't even the worst fight he and Yu Kaiming had had. Besides, Yu Kaiming had drunk some alcohol tonight and didn't have much strength. The wounds on his body looked scary, but they were all just superficial.

Yu Fan clicked his tongue and said dismissively, "Fine, I'll go in a bit. You hurry home."

"I'll go with you."

"?" Yu Fan frowned. "Aren't you afraid of needles?"

Chen Jingshen thought for a moment. "When you get the needle, I'll close my eyes."

"..."

They stared at each other for a moment. Chen Jingshen silently took out his Mobile Phone and tapped on it.

Yu Fan glanced at the 120 he had dialed on his phone, hesitating between throwing Chen Jingshen's phone out the window and knocking Chen Jingshen unconscious.

"...No need to change clothes. Wait," Yu Fan said after a long moment, his face dark as he walked toward his room. "I'll get my ID."

Yu Fan went into his room, pulled his ID from the drawer, and tossed it into his pocket. Afraid that Yu Kaiming might come back and go crazy again, he took out the crumpled love letter he had hidden in the corner of the room and the "Chen Jingshen" plush toy, and stuffed them both under his pillow.

It was only when they arrived at the Hospital that Chen Jingshen understood why Yu Fan had said there was no need to change clothes.

The emergency room door was lined with people late at night, most of whom had been in minor car accidents or just finished fighting. The scene was grim—some people were even barefoot. Yu Fan stood among the crowd and didn't stand out at all.

The wounds on his body were just as Yu Fan had estimated—many but not deep, mostly bruises, no need for a tetanus shot.

The nurse skillfully disinfected and bandaged Yu Fan's wounds. She looked up at him midway and seriously advised, "When you get home, eat less spicy and stimulating food. Don't touch seafood or mushrooms. Better to eat less soy sauce too. You're so handsome—it would be a shame to leave a scar on your face."

Yu Fan nodded casually, not sure if he was really listening.

The nurse worked quickly and finished bandaging in no time.

"This ointment is antibacterial and anti-inflammatory, twice a day," the nurse said, then tilted her chin to indicate the person behind Yu Fan and added casually, "He can use this too."

Yu Fan was taken aback. "Why does he need to use it?"

"Here," the nurse pointed at the corner of her own mouth. "Isn't his broken too?"

"..."

Yu Fan sat frozen in place, not moving for a moment.

When they came, he had deliberately sat in the passenger seat, rolling the window all the way down to let the wind blow on him the whole way. He had barely managed to suppress the heat in his head, but now it started seeping out again, fine and dense.

With a rustle, Chen Jingshen hooked his finger through the bag and lifted the medicine bag. "Got it, thanks."

The Hospital was under temporary renovation today, so they could only enter and exit through the back door. From the back door, there was a long, dark path, a bit of a distance from the main gate. When the taxi had brought them in, it hadn't felt like much, but walking out now, Yu Fan found it a bit long.

The night breeze was gentle. The Hospital path was utterly silent in the dead of night. Chen Jingshen glanced sideways at the person a few steps away from him.

Yu Fan walked with his head down, his ears hot, forcing himself to think about something trivial—

Yu Kaiming had run away. He had been really angry just now and hit a bit hard. It shouldn't be fatal, right?

Was that weakling Zuo Kuan still throwing up?

How did Chen Jingshen's lip get cut? It's not like I have thorns in my mouth.

"..."

A bottle of water was handed over from beside him. Chen Jingshen had unknowingly drawn shoulder-to-shoulder with him. "Want some water?"

Yu Fan's heart jumped. He took it instinctively. He was indeed thirsty—he hadn't had any water since coming home.

He twisted it open and took a messy gulp. The clear, sweet mineral water tasted like mint in his mouth.

"..."

Yu Fan closed his eyes, cursed in his heart, and finally couldn't help but glance at the person beside him.

They happened to be passing under a streetlight just then. Yu Fan saw something clearly in the light, froze slightly, and blurted out as if discovering a new continent: "Chen Jingshen."

Chen Jingshen glanced at him. "Mm."

"Why are your ears still red?"

"..."

Chen Jingshen said flatly, "What do you think."

When Yu Fan's face got hot alone, he felt embarrassed. But after discovering that Chen Jingshen could also blush, his own embarrassment somehow dissipated a lot.

To cover up his still-racing heartbeat, Yu Fan let out a knowing snicker. "No way."

"Yes way." Chen Jingshen shot him a look. "It's the first time, after all."

"I'm also—"

Yu Fan remembered the thirteen exes he had bragged about to Chen Jingshen before, and forcibly swallowed the rest of his words.

He pressed his lips together and frowned.

Was this Chen Jingshen's first kiss? He didn't think so. Who the hell could kiss like... that on their first time?

"Also what?" Chen Jingshen said.

"...Nothing." Yu Fan quickly averted his gaze and shoved his hands into his pockets, the water bottle making his pocket bulge.

He put on an air of a seasoned player, saying lazily, "Anyway, it's just touching lips, no big deal. Tonight you got one, I got one—let's call it even."

After he said that, Yu Fan waited for a while, but the person beside him didn't react.

Why wasn't he saying anything? Did he understand what he meant?

Yu Fan frowned, about to ask, but as he turned his head, a shadow fell over him.

Before he could react, a warm, cool softness pressed against his lips.

Chen Jingshen turned his face and gave him a brief, dry kiss, his lowered gaze glinting slightly.

"Don't call it even," Chen Jingshen said. "I'll owe you one more."