Chapter 58

Yu Fan slowed down a few steps behind Chen Jingshen, following him in silence.

Chen Jingshen was wearing a simple, clean white t-shirt today. His shoulders were thin and broad, and without the restraint of a school uniform, his back looked more relaxed and at ease than it did at school.

Chen Jingshen wasn't walking fast, and his face was expressionless. Anyone else might think he was the same as usual—there were plenty of people in the shop just now, and no one could tell anything was off.

But Yu Fan knew Chen Jingshen was angry.

It was strange, really. At first, he just thought Chen Jingshen's deadpan face was asking for a punch. But after knowing him for a while, he found he could read other emotions beneath that same expression—mostly cold ones. Only when they were alone together did something loosen in Chen Jingshen's eyes.

Thinking about that look Chen Jingshen had just given him, Yu Fan lowered his head and clicked his tongue, then reached up and ruffled his hair.

Chen Jingshen was angry, and right now, there wasn't much Yu Fan could do about it.

The two boys walked one after the other, always keeping a distance between them.

Until they reached an intersection, where Chen Jingshen hailed a taxi. When he got in, he shifted over to make room.

Yu Fan's intuition kicked in, and he followed him into the car.

During the ride, the driver couldn't help sneaking glances in the rearview mirror. First, because it was rare to see such good-looking guys, let alone two of them. Second, because hardly anyone got in together and then didn't say a single word.

Yu Fan stared out the window, thinking the whole way, until he heard Chen Jingshen greet the security guard and let the taxi into the neighborhood. Only then did he snap out of it.

Following Chen Jingshen out of the car, Yu Fan stared at the luxurious villa with its rooftop garden and barely held back a 'fuck.'

As soon as Chen Jingshen stepped inside, Fanfan, who had been lying down, immediately sat up and whimpered excitedly at him. Chen Jingshen ignored it, turned on the main switch, and looked back to find the door he'd left ajar was still half-open, and the person outside hadn't come in.

Chen Jingshen went back and pushed the door open to look, didn't see anyone, then turned his head and met the gaze of the person sitting on the lawn next to his house.

Yu Fan was wearing all black today, sitting sprawled out with his legs stretched casually, the two red wounds on his face still fresh, looking down and tapping on his Mobile Phone.

Feeling his gaze, Yu Fan looked up at him.

'Come in,' Chen Jingshen said. 'No one's home.'

Yu Fan said instinctively, 'Aren't there cameras?'

'Covered.'

As soon as Yu Fan went in, the dog barked at him a couple of times. Fanfan seemed to still remember him—its face looked fierce, but its tail was wagging happily. Yu Fan, not in the mood, gave it a quick ruffle and went inside.

The living room in Chen Jingshen's house was filled with a lot of art pieces, and the overall color scheme was as gray as Chen Jingshen's room, making the whole place feel big, empty, and a bit cold.

Even though he'd seen it many times on video, when he actually sat down in Chen Jingshen's room, Yu Fan still found himself looking around instinctively.

The room was spotless. Every piece of furniture was as clean as if it were new, and even the bed was perfectly made.

Yu Fan's gaze finally landed on the corner of the room.

The monitor was completely covered with black cloth, standing darkly in the corner like a black hole that could swallow you up at any moment.

Yu Fan sat on the chair, staring at the covered monitor for a few minutes, before frowning and looking away.

What was Chen Jingshen thinking? He brought him in and then left on his own? Was he coming back?

Yu Fan was hesitating whether to go out and check when his phone buzzed in his pocket. The message he'd sent outside Chen Jingshen's house had finally gotten a reply—

【-: You there? Got something to ask you.】

【Zhu Xu: Yeah, what's up? I was just playing a game.】

[Zhu Xu: Where'd you go? You coming back? We're all booting up at Cool Boy Internet Café.]

【-: Not coming back.】

【-: When your girlfriend's mad, how do you make it up to her?】

【Zhu Xu: !!!】

【Zhu Xu: You ARE dating someone, Yu Fan! Who is it? Someone from our school?】

Yu Fan was about to deny it, but his fingers paused over the screen.

It was just dating—nothing to be ashamed of. And if he came clean now, he wouldn't have to make excuses to skip certain activities later.

Anyway, there was no way they'd guess it was Chen Jingshen.

【-: Don't ask so many questions. So how do you do it? Can you tell me or not?】

【Zhu Xu: Uh, it depends. Did you mess up, or is she being unreasonable?】

【-: ...Me, I guess.】

【Zhu Xu: Then you've gotta work for it. First, be shameless and act cute, apologize to her—and you gotta mean it! Then do something that'll make her happy. Like, my girlfriend likes flowers and little animals, so I'll hide flowers in her desk drawer, change my profile pic to a cat she likes...】

Zhu Xu wrote a solid hundred or so words of advice. Yu Fan got stuck after reading the first part.

He sat stiffly in the chair, staring blankly at his phone screen, feeling like he didn't recognize the words anymore.

What the hell was 'being shameless and acting cute'? What was 'apologizing'? And what the fuck was 'admitting you're wrong'?

Yu Fan had grown up wild for seventeen years and had never apologized to anyone.

He read it twice, certain he couldn't do any of the things Zhu Xu had mentioned. He sat sideways, elbow propped on the chair back, and typed: Got any normal advice...?

Before he could send it, there was a click, and the door opened.

Yu Fan immediately shoved his phone into his pocket.

Chen Jingshen had come back, holding a plastic box.

Chen Jingshen set the plastic box down on the table along with his phone. The next second, his phone buzzed and lit up.

They both glanced at the screen instinctively—

【Xie's Coconut Chicken Restaurant: Hello! We're currently on table 53. Your number is 58. Please manage your time so you don't miss your turn~】

Chen Jingshen flipped his phone over and opened the plastic box, revealing it was packed full of medicine.

He picked through it, found a cotton swab and some saline, and set them in front of Yu Fan.

Yu Fan waited instinctively for a moment, but the person next to him didn't move. Chen Jingshen stood there expressionlessly, looking like he had no intention of doing anything else.

Yu Fan snapped out of it, unscrewed the cap, dipped the swab, and jabbed it at his face. His mind was still on the notification he'd just seen, so he pressed too hard, the swab hitting the wound directly. The pain made him twitch his face without changing his expression.

The next moment, the swab was taken from him.

Chen Jingshen glanced at the red on the swab, frowned but didn't say anything yet, and the person on the chair had already lifted his face up, silently spreading his legs to let him step closer.

Chen Jingshen's jawline was slightly tight, his gaze always fixed on the wound. His whole body looked cold, but his movements were gentle.

This time, Yu Fan was hurt right between the two moles on his right cheek. The wound wasn't deep, but since it was on his face, it was still a bit shocking.

Yu Fan still had a scar on his forehead from a while back, and now there were two more band-aids. Chen Jingshen thought about it and figured this guy spent more time injured than not.

Chen Jingshen pressed the band-aid down firmly and asked flatly, 'Where else are you hurt?'

'Nowhere else, just these two,' Yu Fan said.

Chen Jingshen's gaze dropped a little. He didn't say anything, just rummaged through the medicine box and pulled out a dark red medicinal wine.

He got some of the wine on his hand, used the back of it to tilt Yu Fan's chin up slightly, and pressed it directly onto the fresh bruise just below his neck.

Yu Fan honestly didn't know that spot was hurt. He only felt it when Chen Jingshen touched it. Rubbing in the wine required some force, and Yu Fan started to feel a dull ache, then his head got a little hot.

The room had the AC set just right. Chen Jingshen's fingers were warm, bringing a little pain with each touch.

When he figured it was enough, Chen Jingshen pulled his hand back, screwed the cap on the wine, and put it away. He was considering how many band-aids to stick on the liar's face.

'Chen Jingshen,' the person next to him suddenly called out. 'Do you hate the smell of medicinal wine?'

Chen Jingshen picked out a band-aid, tossed out a 'not really,' and turned to stick it on him when the person on the chair suddenly stood up, the strong smell of the wine closing in.

Yu Fan pressed a dry kiss against his lips.

Chen Jingshen froze, finally lifting his eyes to look at him.

'That idiot Zuo Kuan doesn't think before he talks. When he called, he was already getting beaten up. I couldn't help it—I didn't mean to stand you up.' Yu Fan paused. 'I was already at the mall.'

Yu Fan had pissed off a lot of people in his life, but this was the first time he was trying to make it up to someone. He couldn't do 'shameless and cute,' and apologizing was hard too. As for doing something to make Chen Jingshen happy...

Chen Jingshen didn't seem easy to please. After thinking it over, this was the only thing Yu Fan could come up with.

Once he started, it got easier. Chen Jingshen didn't say anything, so Yu Fan leaned in and bit at him again: 'We can still make it for dinner if we go now... My treat. You in?'

Chen Jingshen looked at him silently for a moment, then reached out and stuck the band-aid on his face. He tossed out a 'forget it,' closed the medicine box, and left.

Fuck.

Yu Fan stood there, pressed his lips together, and grabbed his hair. He picked up his phone and sent a message.

【-: What you said didn't work.】

【Zhu Xu: Huh? You already made up? That fast? How'd you do it?】

【-: ...】

【-: Did something that made him happy】Maybe.

Yu Fan had just hit send when the door pushed open. Chen Jingshen stood in the doorway and asked him, 'Want some noodles?'

Zhu Xu was in the middle of a game. He looked up at the 'him' and blinked, about to ask Yu Fan if he'd typed it wrong—

【-: ...Wait, maybe it worked a little.】

【Zhu Xu: Yeah? Is he treating you better now?】

【-: Mm】

【Zhu Xu: Then keep at it! Work harder! Go go go!】

Zhu Xu meant 'keep at it, do a few more things to make her happy,' but he was in the middle of an intense game and didn't type it all out.

So it came across to Yu Fan as something else entirely.

There was a housekeeper at home, so Chen Jingshen didn't cook much. He could barely manage some noodles. The faint smell of medicinal wine drifted closer, and Chen Jingshen glanced sideways at the person who had walked up next to him with his phone, asking, 'Want chili?'

The guy put down his phone, leaned in, and kissed him like he was completing a task: 'No.'

'...'

After they finished the noodles, Chen Jingshen called to tell the housekeeper not to come today, then called a pet store to come walk the dog.

When he hung up, Yu Fan leaned against the wall and said, 'Tell that guy not to come. I'll take it for a walk.'

'It needs to go for a bath too.'

Yu Fan stood up straight, said 'oh,' and as he passed by, remembered something, turned back, and tilted his head up to kiss his lips.

'...'

Chen Jingshen didn't kick him out, and Yu Fan didn't leave. After handing Fanfan over to the dog walker, Chen Jingshen went back to his room to do homework, silently pulling out a chair next to him.

After Yu Fan sat down, he handed him a worksheet.

Chen Jingshen's desk was much bigger than Yu Fan's. The two of them using it together wasn't a problem at all—there was even a gap between their arms.

The worksheet Chen Jingshen gave him was pretty hard. Yu Fan hadn't even done a few problems before he started pulling at his hair. He nudged Chen Jingshen, who put down his pen and pulled the worksheet over to look.

'Got it?' Chen Jingshen asked.

Yu Fan rested his head on his arm, looking annoyed by the problems. He frowned, pressed a kiss to his lips, and said, 'No. What the hell is this shitty worksheet?'

'...'

Chen Jingshen had been clumsily ambushed all day. The area around his lips was full of the flavor of the gum Yu Fan had been chewing lately.

By the time they finished the worksheet, the night had fully settled. Yu Fan leaned back in his chair to check his messages. He hadn't replied to anyone all day, and his phone was blowing up.

People always say girls are gossipy, but a bunch of guys together are even worse. Zhu Xu couldn't keep his mouth shut, so everyone who'd been at the internet café today already knew he was dating someone.

Even though he'd chased after Chen Jingshen today, no one made that connection. They were all asking which class the girl was in.

Yu Fan was halfway through his messages when he heard the person next to him put down his pen and lean back in his chair too.

Chen Jingshen's eyelids were half-lowered. During the whole time they were doing the worksheet, aside from explaining problems, he hadn't said a single extra word to him.

It was weird. He could tell that the first time he'd kissed him as an apology, Chen Jingshen had softened a little. But only that one time. Every time after that, the effect was just so-so.

Yu Fan turned off his phone, and as if building up some kind of experience points, leaned toward him again.

Chen Jingshen turned his face away, dodging him.

'?' Yu Fan's hand, braced on the chair back, paused. 'What are you doing?'

Chen Jingshen twirled his pen and turned to look at him. 'I should be asking you that. What have you been doing all day?'

'...'

Yu Fan frowned suspiciously. 'Can't you tell what I'm doing?'

'No,' Chen Jingshen said.

'Aren't you angry?'

Chen Jingshen looked at him noncommittally.

'Then I'm obviously fucking—' Yu Fan paused. He was a little unfamiliar with the word, couldn't get it out for a long time, and finally settled on, '—trying to make it up to you.'

After he said it, Yu Fan couldn't help frowning again. 'But are you always this hard to please?'

Chen Jingshen put down his pen. The desk lamp's light fell on his face, making his expression look even colder. 'You're too half-assed.'

'Did you used to make it up to other people like this?' he asked.

'...I never made it up to anyone. Never dated anyone as hard to please as you,' Yu Fan said coldly.

Chen Jingshen blinked silently. He was about to turn his face back to the problems when he heard the sound of a chair being moved next to him, and then his clothes were tugged.

'Stop fucking writing, Chen Jingshen.' Yu Fan called him coldly. 'Open up.'

Chen Jingshen let one hand hang by the desk, tilting his head as Yu Fan kissed him.

Yu Fan's kiss was just like his personality—reckless and clumsy. Even after all these times, he still occasionally knocked their teeth together or bumped their noses. But his lips were soft, and when he messed up, he'd pause awkwardly, a contradictory mix of roughness and inexperience that made you want to tease him.

Yu Fan pulled back a little, breathing a bit heavily. 'That enough?'

'Almost,' Chen Jingshen said.

Yu Fan pressed in again.

Whenever Yu Fan initiated those clumsy kisses, he always had this energy like he was about to bite someone's lip off. But when Chen Jingshen responded quietly, the tension in him would instantly dissolve.

The AC was starting to lose its effect. Yu Fan's hand, originally braced on Chen Jingshen's chair cushion, slowly clenched into a fist. A strange feeling surged into his head, and even his half-spread knees went stiff.

When Chen Jingshen pulled away, Yu Fan let out a breath. He was about to sit up straight when Chen Jingshen suddenly reached out and rubbed the back of his neck.

'How many times has this been, Yu Fan?' Chen Jingshen was almost touching noses with him, glancing downward. 'Every time, you're like this.'

'...'

'Means I'm normal.' Yu Fan felt like his throat was throbbing. He swallowed. 'Let go. I'm going to the bathroom.'

Chen Jingshen let him go. Yu Fan stood up, his limbs stiff. He was about to head to the bathroom when his fingers were suddenly tugged.

Chen Jingshen squeezed his fingertip and said quietly, 'Don't go.'

...

Yu Fan leaned back against the pillow, feeling like he was being surrounded by Chen Jingshen's scent. He sat with his knees drawn up, watching Chen Jingshen half-kneel as he came closer, his mind a blank heat.

Yu Fan felt like he must have been out of his mind when he said 'oh' to Chen Jingshen just now. Like he'd been bewitched.

He'd picked through his sparse wardrobe today and chosen a fucking all-black outfit. When Chen Jingshen's long, slender fingers reached out, the visual effect made Yu Fan's face flush bright red. He regretted it almost immediately, his hand flailing uselessly as he tried to get up: 'Forget it, Chen Jingshen...'

Before he could finish, he was pushed back down by a hand on his stomach. There was a pillow behind him, and Chen Jingshen used some force, making his back sink into it.

'Stay put.' Chen Jingshen turned his head and kissed him without much expression. 'Be good.'

Teenage guys' minds were restless. Wang Luan'an and Zuo Kuan were always watching female streamers next to him, and sometimes they'd huddle together and watch some videos. Every time they invited Yu Fan to join, he had zero interest. Zuo Kuan had even mocked him once, saying he was sexually frigid at such a young age.

That kind of taunt didn't bother Yu Fan at all. He really wasn't interested in that stuff.

Until he met Chen Jingshen.

The AC had completely failed. Yu Fan's head was dizzy and hot. He was trapped between Chen Jingshen and the headboard. He couldn't help looking down several times, only to look away in shame when he caught sight of Chen Jingshen's wrist. His whole body was tense, and his heart was beating so fast he thought it might stop any second.

Every time Chen Jingshen lowered his eyes, Yu Fan would prop his chin up and force him to look up. Chen Jingshen kissed his fingers, then leaned in to kiss him again. Near the end, Chen Jingshen kissed him hard. Yu Fan even felt like he couldn't breathe. He leaned back to dodge, but Chen Jingshen grabbed his neck and pulled him back, his thumb rubbing hard against his Adam's apple.

In the hazy suffocation, Yu Fan realized belatedly that Chen Jingshen's anger hadn't faded yet. He really was fucking hard to appease.

When he was finally let go, Yu Fan had no strength left. All he felt was numbness. His whole body was numb. It felt so good he couldn't tell what time it was.

He leaned against Chen Jingshen's shoulder, breathing heavily, listening to him pull out tissues, wipe his hands. The wet wipe stuck to his skin, cool and cold.

'Yu Fan.' Chen Jingshen's voice was a little hoarse.

Yu Fan didn't say anything. He turned his head and bit down on Chen Jingshen's neck.

Chen Jingshen let him bite, one hand hanging at his side, the other curling up and sinking into his hair.

He said, 'Get hurt again, and I'll lock you up.'