Chapter 42

It really has been a long time.

So long that the night of hysterical sobbing in the dark private room already feels like last century. Xu Yan's life these past few years has been packed full, so full there's been no leisure to examine a failed relationship, let alone imagine a reunion. He felt something inside him get pried open, that sensation of momentary suspension and rapid falling—hard to describe, in any case not excitement, not thrill.

Compared to 'long time no see,' 'never see again' suits them better.

After a moment of looking at each other, Xu Yan calmly shifted his gaze away from Shen Zhi, ignored the greeting, and looked back at Tang Yunyan. The smile was still there, but fainter. He joked: 'Here to supervise?'

Tang Yunyan laughed lightly: 'Come see when you have time to shoot a few pieces for me.'

'Tomorrow afternoon then.' Xu Yan turned back, scanned through the whole set of photos roughly, and asked Wang Wen'an, 'Done?'

'The platform's been swapped.' Wang Wen'an answered quickly. 'Lighting's adjusted too.'

'Good, finish this set and we wrap.' Xu Yan picked up the camera, said to Tang Yunyan again, 'I'll come find you tomorrow afternoon. Is the model booked?'

'Booked.' Tang Yunyan calmly patted Shen Zhi's shoulder beside her. 'Shen Lawyer happens to be free these two days, let him do it.'

Xu Yan didn't react for a moment. He only heard Wang Wen'an whisper in his ear: 'Yes yes yes, that's the lawyer! When I saw him I thought he was the company's new model!'

He should have said he wasn't free—that was the only thought in Xu Yan's mind. But he'd already publicly agreed to tomorrow's shoot, before knowing the model was Shen Zhi.

Actually the model himself had only just learned this news. Shen Zhi turned his head to look at Tang Yunyan, who gave him a faint smile.

'Okay, see you tomorrow.' Xu Yan replied briefly, and before Shen Zhi could look at him, he took the DSLR back under the lights.

He quickly threw himself into shooting, focused and meticulous. Tang Yunyan watched for a while, then nudged Shen Zhi's arm: 'Let's go.' Shen Zhi nodded, his gaze still on Xu Yan. He paused before walking with her toward the door.

When the automatic door slowly closed, Shen Zhi stood motionless. Through the transparent glass, through the people moving about, he could occasionally catch Xu Yan's profile, occasionally his wrist—someone was always blocking the view. But Shen Zhi didn't mind, just as he didn't mind Xu Yan ignoring his presence.

For three years his life had been filled with various pressures—study, exams, thesis, work, projects, business trips...and everything else. Only today, face to face with Xu Yan, did Shen Zhi feel he had finally briefly escaped reality, his heartbeat slowing, wanting to stretch those few seconds longer, even longer.

'Too lazy to pick a model, just felt your style fit. Consider it doing me a favor—only shoot below the neck, won't show the face.' Tang Yunyan's expression was meaningful. 'Tomorrow afternoon at one, about two hours of shooting. Can Shen Lawyer be there on time?'

'I can.' Shen Zhi answered.

'Then you now...'

'Going back to the firm.' Shen Zhi raised his hand to check his watch. 'I'll come over tomorrow at noon. My flight's at five, have to travel for work.'

'Looks like you'll have to pull another all-nighter tonight.'

'Mm.' Shen Zhi looked up toward the studio again—a brief glance, but he looked very carefully. He said, 'I'll head out first.'

After working all night in the study, when Shen Zhi took off his glasses and looked out the window, the sky was already dimly bright, almost five. Headache, sore eyes—he pinched the bridge of his nose, closed the laptop, organized the materials. When he stood up his head spun for a moment. Bracing against the desk edge for a while, Shen Zhi finally walked out and back to the bedroom.

He fell onto the bed and was asleep at once. Tired of course he was tired, but once it became the norm there was no time to complain about it. Red Circle firm work intensity was always extraordinary—24-hour standby, business trips routine, work tasks anytime, private time squeezed out hard. Him spending two hours today being Tang Yunyan's model meant needing to make up another two hours, or even more.

But Shen Zhi was willing.

Sometimes sleep deprivation was more painful than staying up all night. When the alarm rang, Shen Zhi's head was aching and swollen—nine-thirty. He got up, packed his luggage, ate breakfast, then drove to TIDE, arriving just at noon.

He checked new emails as usual, replied to WeChat messages. Tang Yunyan's chat window suddenly popped up: 'Lawyer Shen, no need to come today. Xu Yan just told me he'd only be free at three, and said he's booked a model for me. You have to travel this afternoon, let's skip it this time.'

His eyes hurt terribly. Shen Zhi got up and grabbed a bottle of eye drops. After dripping them he closed his eyes and lay for two minutes, then opened them, picked up his phone, and opened the airline app.

Ten minutes later, Shen Zhi replied to Tang Yunyan: 'I'll arrive on time at two-thirty this afternoon.'

Tang Yunyan: 'You delayed your trip?'

Shen Zhi: 'No, changed to a later flight.'

Tang Yunyan: 'What a coincidence? Just happened to have an evening flight?'

Shen Zhi: 'No, flying to another city, then transferring to a high-speed train after landing.'

Tang Yunyan: '...I really don't know what to say.'

Shen Zhi also didn't know what to say. He didn't know if Xu Yan really wasn't free until three or just didn't want to see him, but he genuinely lacked a proper reason to meet. Though he knew he shouldn't go disturb, if he could find a chance—even if a bit forced—he wanted to try.

After sending the client a new arrival time, Shen Zhi got up to wash. Electric toothbrush in his hand, he reached with the other hand for toothpaste, and while squeezing it noticed his hand trembling badly—couldn't tell if it was lack of strength or soreness. Used to it. Shen Zhi closed his eyes and shook his head. While washing his face he heard his phone ringing. He raised his head, quickly wiped and walked out of the bathroom. The caller was Lan Qiuchen.

'Hello.'

'Just woke up?'

'Mm.'

The other side sighed: 'What time did you sleep?'

'Five.'

'You really are...what time are you coming this week?'

'Sunday morning at ten.'

'Okay, I'll have my assistant register it.'

After hanging up, Shen Zhi opened his business trip suitcase, checked it and closed it, carried it to the hallway, then went to the study again and reopened the computer.

In the afternoon at TIDE's design department, before entering, Shen Zhi raised both hands and pressed hard on his eyelids, then pressed the doorbell. Someone came to open the door quickly—it was the one he'd seen in the studio yesterday, Xu Yan's assistant.

'Hello Lawyer Shen! I'm Wang Wen'an, Photographer Xu's assistant.'

'Hello.'

'Come in, come in!'

Tang Yunyan's office was very large—calling it a studio would be more accurate. Workbench, dressing table, makeup table, runway...everything that should be there, hall-style, spacious and bright. By the floor-to-ceiling window stood a beautiful wooden perch, on which sat a yellow-necked Amazon parrot, quite brightly colored. Seeing someone come, it immediately turned its head to look, eyes rolling, opened its beak, and said in a sharp voice: 'Welcome, welcome, warm welcome!'

Tang Yunyan and Xu Yan were standing at the workbench looking at design drafts. After Shen Zhi came in, Tang Yunyan raised her head and waved at him with a smile. Xu Yan leaned against the table, didn't move, looked at the drawings and laughed: 'I told you your parrot was trained as a receptionist.'

'How many times do I have to tell you, TOTO is male.'

'So what if it's male, males can greet guests too.'

'Oh right, that reminds me.' Tang Yunyan reached for a stack of sample garment photos. 'I'm participating in a fashion show in two months. When do you have time? Come help me try this collection, see how it looks.'

'The company has so many models, why do you always have your eye on non-professionals?' Xu Yan took it and flipped through two pages, a bit surprised. 'Qipao?'

'Men's style. What, men can't wear qipao?'

'They can.' Xu Yan said. 'But you should still book other models.'

'Just you, just wearing it to see how it looks.' Tang Yunyan decided directly. She propped herself up, looked at Shen Zhi approaching, and asked knowingly: 'Lawyer Shen didn't sleep well last night, did you? You have dark circles.'

Xu Yan still had his head down looking at the drawings. Shen Zhi looked at him, answering Tang Yunyan's question: 'I'm fine.'

'I'll have my assistant take you to change, we'll prep on our side.' Tang Yunyan called the assistant over and gave her the numbered order of several pieces of clothing.

Xu Yan never looked up from start to finish. After looking at the drawings he turned on the camera and adjusted the parameters. Shen Zhi followed the assistant to the changing room.

'I feel like using someone inexperienced as a model would bring something fresh. Tried it before, the effect was good.' Tang Yunyan said. 'And this style really suits Shen Zhi, you know—clean, leaning toward that asexual-cool look.'

After Tang Yunyan and Xu Yan became familiar these past few years, they had something of a kindred spirit, conversation flowing easily. Tang Yunyan liked Xu Yan's photography style, Xu Yan admired Tang Yunyan's design philosophy—the two were almost each other's first-choice photographer and designer, having collaborated many times.

'Mm.' Xu Yan nodded, though based on past experience, he knew Shen Zhi had absolutely nothing to do with asexual-cool.

The designer picked the model, the photographer shoots seriously—regardless of who the other party is, regardless of the reason. This professional quality had to be maintained. Xu Yan went to the set. The whole backdrop paper showed a crumpled effect, almost pure white, with a heavy ink-splash pattern in the lower right corner.

Tang Yunyan's several sample outfits this time were all black—silk, cotton, and linen blend, soft and hard, satin sheen and matte. Shen Zhi came out after changing, his feet in black rope-woven shoes, the soles thinner than paper. This actually highlighted his genuinely long legs. When he sat on the transparent cylindrical chair, Xu Yan looked through the viewfinder and was stunned for a moment, pulled the lens back a few centimeters—at the estimated distance, the lens couldn't fit Shen Zhi's legs.

Although Shen Zhi's face wouldn't appear in the final images, during shooting the whole person still needed to be captured for cropping in post. Xu Yan was focusing, Tang Yunyan was adjusting Shen Zhi's clothes, the assistants were adjusting lights. Xu Yan used a black-and-white viewfinder—the composition effect was good. After Tang Yunyan and the others stepped back, the frame was completely occupied by white backdrop and black clothing, quiet like a silent film.

In the same pose, Xu Yan photographed different parts of the clothing separately. When he moved up to the collar, the lens zoomed in—Shen Zhi's face also became close, became clear. Xu Yan knelt on one knee, his gaze confined to the viewfinder. He raised his lashes slightly, and through the lens, met Shen Zhi's gaze in the black-and-white frame.

Actually as long as the pose was right, expression didn't matter. Shen Zhi could look anywhere, even close his eyes, since the face would be cropped in post—but Shen Zhi kept looking at the lens very intently. Or rather, staring.

Those eyes looked even darker and deeper in the monochrome, and visibly tired. At this moment Xu Yan remembered the first time he and Shen Zhi had looked at each other through a viewfinder: the university basketball game, that widely-circulated legendary photo, Shen Zhi's backward glance while dribbling. Roughly calculated, almost ten years had passed.

Xu Yan put down the camera, scrolled through the photos on the display. He looked quickly, confirmed they were fine, then raised his head: 'Please extend your left leg a bit, right hand on the edge of the chair, relax your pose.'

This was the first thing he'd said to Shen Zhi in over three years—professional and distant. Compared to 'long time no see,' this tone and attitude better suited their relationship.

Shen Zhi paused, then changed pose according to Xu Yan's request.

Wang Wen'an stood beside Tang Yunyan, watched for a while, and asked quietly: 'Chloe, do they know each other?'

Tang Yunyan crossed her arms and smiled slightly: 'What do you think?'

'Probably...don't know each other, they don't look familiar.' Wang Wen'an frowned in thought for a moment, then said, 'But it feels weird somehow.'

Tang Yunyan's assistant also nodded: 'Same feeling.'

Shen Zhi was a qualified new model—good figure, straight posture, steady poses, strong comprehension too. Xu Yan said a couple words and he could strike the right action, saving time and effort.

The main thing was he was free. Tang Yunyan said she was very satisfied.

Six outfits took over two hours to shoot. Tang Yunyan looked at the straight-out originals on the computer and asked: 'Lawyer Shen, ever thought about switching careers again? Come be a model.'

Shen Zhi had just changed and walked over. He looked at Xu Yan packing up the camera, and absurdly actually seriously considered Tang Yunyan's suggestion in his heart—if the photographer was always Xu Yan.

'I might not have time to help you edit today.' Xu Yan pulled on his shirt and said to Tang Yunyan, 'Are you in a rush for the final images?'

'No worries, I'll edit them myself. Thanks for your hard work.'

With a snap, Xu Yan's phone was knocked to the floor. Shen Zhi stepped forward to pick it up for him, flipped the phone over to check the screen—intact. He handed the phone over. Xu Yan took it quickly: 'Thanks.'

'It's past five.' Shen Zhi said quietly. He could feel his heart pounding hard, his voice trembling slightly beyond his control. 'Have dinner together?'

When he said this, Tang Yunyan and the two assistants over there all subtly stopped what they were doing, almost pricking up their ears. Xu Yan pulled the camera bag zipper closed, didn't look up: 'No need, I have things to do.'

Just as he finished speaking, the indestructible phone that had just fallen on the ground with no damage immediately rang in perfect sync. Xu Yan glanced at the caller, the corner of his mouth curved up, pressed answer: 'Hello?'

The other end was a bit noisy. A soft girlish voice rang out very clearly: 'Hus~band!'

Wang Wen'an's eyes widened in shock. Tang Yunyan instinctively looked at Shen Zhi and found him frozen in place, as if he hadn't reacted at all.

Xu Yan didn't seem unfamiliar with this address at all, as if he'd heard the other person call him that countless times. The smile on his face deepened, his expression a bit helpless: 'What time is it, how are you drunk again?'

As he spoke he picked up the camera bag, chatting on the phone while turning to wave goodbye to Tang Yunyan, walking around the workbench toward the main door. TOTO stood on the perch and flapped its wings, calling sharply: 'Husband! Husband!' It watched Xu Yan's back: 'Take care, come again!'