—

Xu Yan returned to the venue when the gala was nearing its end, everyone going up for a group photo. He stood with Lu Sen, who said quietly: "Let's go out for a late-night snack in two hours."

"That'll be past midnight." Xu Yan said. "Let me sleep properly, please."

Lu Sen looked straight ahead, a faint smile: "Your idol is coming. I've arranged it."

Xu Yan: "No problem, I'll definitely be at your door on time."

The idol was a master American photographer Xu Yan had admired since university. During his years abroad, Xu Yan had been fortunate enough to run into him, but each time it was rushed, lacking the chance for real exchange.

"He just arrived in Beijing yesterday, hasn't adjusted to the time difference yet, can't sleep at night — practically a gift from heaven." Lu Sen said.

Xu Yan nodded, eyes bright with excitement.

After the gala ended, Xu Yan was about to slip away when Yu Xue grabbed him: "Let's go drink!"

"No, I'm too tired today." Xu Yan had no mind for drinking. He said, "Let me rest properly. I've been having chest tightness and shortness of breath lately, my body can't take it."

Yu Xue looked at him suspiciously. Just then someone came over to greet her, and Xu Yan took the chance to turn and slip away.

He went back to his room, showered, and lay down on the bed. As he fell asleep, there was still an expectant smile at the corner of his mouth. But soon, just over an hour later, his phone rang like it was calling for his life. Xu Yan fumbled for it — it was Yu Xue's assistant calling for help, saying Yu Xue had drunk too much.

Xu Yan hung up and went downstairs, arriving at the car at the same time as Yu Xue's manager Yunjie, who groaned in a hushed voice: "Little ancestor!"

The car was stopped at the VIP lane entrance to prevent being photographed. Xu Yan lifted Yu Xue into his arms: "Take her to my place first. Your floor has too many artists and teams — if they run into each other it won't look good, and the paparazzi are watching closely."

"Can you cause me a little less trouble, grandma!" Yunjie thumped her chest in anguish. "Sooner or later you'll drive me to take heart-saving pills."

Xu Yan wanted to laugh, thinking that not causing trouble wouldn't be Yu Xue. Even when she was still an ordinary person, she loved all-night drinking. After becoming famous, she kept the same unapologetic style — some people liked it, some couldn't stand it, perfectly normal.

She and Xu Yan were publicly known to have a good relationship in the industry. During Xu Yan's years abroad, because he mainly shot landscapes and rarely returned to China for events, his public profile wasn't that high. It was Yu Xue who, refusing all the photographers available domestically, flew to France specifically to have him shoot her. Every time the team posted related photos on Weibo, they @-ed Xu Yan without fail per Yu Xue's request, directly and indirectly building traffic and commercial collaborations for him — if his work was the foundation that let Xu Yan stand firm in the photography world, and Lu Sen was the mentor who led him into the fashion circle, then Yu Xue was the rich friend who closed her eyes and handed him entertainment industry resources.

Just like those top-ranked tycoons in livestreams who smash rockets and Ferraris with tips — simple, crude, and the effect is immediate.

Coming out of the elevator, Xu Yan carried her toward his room. Yu Xue, for no apparent reason, started singing loudly. The assistant frantically reached to cover her mouth, but they still made some noise. When they reached the door, they heard a click — the door across from Xu Yan's room opened.

Both Yunjie and the assistant's blood pressure spiked. Xu Yan looked up and met Shen Zhi's eyes, reassuring them: "It's fine, someone I know."

Yu Xue stopped singing too, blinked as she stared at Shen Zhi. That face truly had the power to be unforgettable, so although she was quite drunk, she quickly recalled the man from three years ago — that old Residential Area, standing outside Xu Yan's door all night.

"Hey, isn't this..."

Before she could say anything inappropriate, Xu Yan carried her into the room.

Just as he set her on the bed, his phone rang again — the editor-in-chief calling. Xu Yan told them to keep an eye on Yu Xue while he went to the living room to take the call. It wasn't anything major, just a compressed file that hadn't copied properly. Xu Yan found it on his computer and sent it over.

Someone rang the doorbell. Xu Yan checked the peephole, then opened the door.

"Do you need something for the hangover?" Shen Zhi asked. "It'll help you feel better."

"Yes." Xu Yan said. "Thanks."

Shen Zhi nodded and went back to his room to get the medicine. Xu Yan left the door slightly ajar. The assistant went to the bathroom to wring out a hot towel, Yunjie was on the phone, Xu Yan sat on the edge of the bed, pulled out a tissue intending to wipe Yu Xue's tears, but the moment he leaned over, she grabbed him by the neck.

"That person just now... what's his actual relationship with you? I've seen him at your door before."

This woman was drunk and still couldn't resist gossip. Xu Yan didn't say anything. Yu Xue's mouth puckered and tears fell again: "Hubby, how can you be doing the 0 behind my back?"

Xu Yan: "..."

When Shen Zhi entered the room, he happened to run into the assistant pouring water in the living room. The other party was immediately a bit panicked. Shen Zhi raised his hand and shook the medicine box, saying softly: "Here to deliver hangover medicine."

"Okay, okay." The assistant replied softly. "Thank you!" She took the medicine, and Shen Zhi walked with her toward the bedroom.

Xu Yan glanced back, didn't notice Shen Zhi beside the sliding door, and said to the assistant: "Give me the towel." The assistant handed it over. Xu Yan wiped the tears from the corners of Yu Xue's eyes, placed the hot towel on her forehead, and asked, "Do you feel like throwing up?"

Yu Xue shook her head. Her gaze passed over Xu Yan's shoulder and saw Shen Zhi. For some reason she suddenly shuddered, and stopped calling him hubby: "Xu Yan."

Xu Yan closed his eyes with forbearance, asked patiently: "What's wrong?"

"The air conditioning, turn the temperature up a bit." Yu Xue timidly pulled her gaze back from Shen Zhi, murmuring.

The assistant immediately adjusted the temperature. Xu Yan saw the medicine box in her hand and realized Shen Zhi had come to deliver medicine. He turned his head — Shen Zhi was indeed standing there. Xu Yan didn't pay much attention, reached for the water cup, and said to the assistant: "Take two out."

On the middle finger of his right hand holding the water cup, Xu Yan wore a beautiful ring. Yu Xue took the cup — on her left hand, also the middle finger, she wore a ring identical to Xu Yan's.

After coaxing Yu Xue to take the medicine, Xu Yan stood up exhausted, turned to say thanks to Shen Zhi, but the spot by the door was empty — Shen Zhi had left.

"Xu Yan." Yu Xue was finally a bit more sober. She leaned against the pillow, unusually serious, and asked, "That person — is he a pervert?"

"What?"

"His expression just now..." Yu Xue seemed to have lingering fear. "I feel like he's the type with psychological issues who'd lock you in a basement."

"He's a lawyer." Xu Yan said in anguish. "Anyway, he won't lock anyone up, least of all you. Shut up."

Shen Zhi hunched his back, both hands braced on the sink, his face soaked. He stared at the rippling light in the basin, but what was still in front of his eyes was the image of Xu Yan being held around the neck by Yu Xue, those couple rings, the assistant's unsurprised expression...

Before this he had still been clinging to a sliver of hope, because last time Xu Yan hadn't directly admitted to being in a relationship, only said he wanted a normal, healthy romance. Shen Zhi thought, he could do it. Though he still had flaws, he could promise he definitely, definitely wouldn't hurt Xu Yan again, would love Xu Yan with everything he had, as long as Xu Yan was willing to give him a chance, give him time.

But now?

Everything he thought had come to nothing. Shen Zhi looked up at the mirror. What gave him the right to assume Xu Yan would imprison himself over a failed past? Long, long ago, Xu Yan had always been the most decisive person — once he let go, he never looked back.

Only him, only he had spent three years tossing and turning, sleepless at night, thinking of winning him back, or starting over.

He had stood in that room just minutes ago, but in the last thirty seconds, his hearing completely failed, ringing in his ears, the scene before him began to distort — Xu Yan's back, the water cup, the ring, the lamp... like paints on a palette, stirred together by a brush.

In the end Shen Zhi could barely even stand steady. He realized what would happen if he stayed any longer, so he withdrew.

Shen Zhi straightened up, went from the bathroom back to the bedroom, his gaze empty. He sat on the edge of the bed, picked up the medicine box on the table — nine small compartments inside, each stuffed with pills, round, oval, square. He took two from the compartment labeled "Sleeping Pills," put them in his mouth, drank some water and swallowed.

He pulled back the covers and lay down, didn't turn off the light, closed his eyes.

Shen Zhi woke in a fit of suffocation, his chest as if pressed by something heavy. The air conditioning was on, but his body was covered in cold sweat. Before he even opened his eyes, he sensed the room was dark — the light had gone out at some point.

It took him nearly a minute to slowly exhale, then take a deep breath. As his chest rose and fell, he finally could feel his heartbeat. His limbs were numb, too heavy to lift. Shen Zhi strained to reach for the switch, but couldn't find it no matter how he tried, couldn't find it at all — he began to grow agitated.

It was back. This thought surfaced uncontrollably in his mind. Soon, his physical response confirmed it — Shen Zhi returned to the state of labored breathing, except now his heart was beating fast, so fast it felt like something was kicking violently inside his body. Like a dehydrated fish, he opened his mouth and kept breathing, but this wasn't the oxygen he needed.

Shen Zhi struggled to turn over, his whole body falling onto the carpet. He couldn't hear sounds, couldn't see light. He even suspected he'd been locked into some container. He stretched his hand forward to reach — no edge, couldn't sense how big this container was, how big it could possibly be.

He felt a hard corner — the coffee table. Shen Zhi braced himself on the edge and stood up. He saw a thin, weak line of light seeping in from under the door crack, a very thin, very fine line, and it looked very far away. Shen Zhi thought, maybe as far as a whole street. He stumbled toward that light, knocking over a chair and a water glass along the way, and other things. His legs were unusually heavy. Shen Zhi dragged them with all his might, unable to tell whether they were tools for walking or burdens on his body. The moment he touched the door handle, he felt he'd reached the edge of the container. He'd found it.

He pulled the door open with force. Before him was the hotel corridor, warm yellow lights, dark red carpet.

Click. Shen Zhi's eyes widened slightly as he saw the door across from him open.

Xu Yan walked out with Yu Xue in his arms. At the moment of meeting, he wasn't surprised — his face still carried that indifferent, distant expression. Shen Zhi's frozen gaze struggled downward and saw the hickey on Xu Yan's neck.

Yu Xue leaned in Xu Yan's arms, smiling sweetly. Shen Zhi suddenly realized that what he'd escaped from might not have been a container, but the dwelling place where he'd survived by hiding himself. Now he wanted to retreat back into the room, back into his container, but the sound escaped from his mouth first.

He heard his own hoarse voice: "You two..."

Xu Yan looked at him oddly: "What about us?"

"Xu Yan." When he called out that name, Shen Zhi felt his shoulders suddenly lighten. He said, "Can we talk?"

"Talk about what?" Xu Yan laughed mockingly. "Why would I waste my time on you?"

As he spoke, he was about to take Yu Xue away. Shen Zhi stepped forward and grabbed his hand, his voice trembling: "Just five minutes, Xu Yan. Just five minutes."

But his mind couldn't organize any specific content for the conversation. Shen Zhi was simply desperate, like someone clutching at a lifeline, wanting to be alone with Xu Yan — five minutes wouldn't work, then one minute, however short was fine.

"Shen Zhi, are you sick?" Xu Yan shook off his hand impatiently. "If you're sick, go get treated. Stop bothering me, okay?"

He took out a business card from his shirt pocket and held it out to Shen Zhi: "Go see a psychologist, quickly."

Shen Zhi's gaze focused on that name — Lan Qiuchen.

After a few seconds of stunned silence, he suddenly laughed bitterly: "No need." — How could he tell Xu Yan that Lan Qiuchen was already his doctor. He turned and walked toward the elevator, pressed the down button. It really was time to see his doctor, he had to go now.

The elevator doors opened. Shen Zhi walked in, but it was empty inside, no car. So like jumping off a cliff, he fell straight down from the 26th floor.

Shen Zhi jolted awake from the intense sensation of freefall.

The light was on, but he still couldn't breathe properly. His forehead was covered in cold sweat, his limbs numb and weak.

A few minutes later, everything in the room shifted from distorted to normal. Shen Zhi sat up very slowly, his whole body trembling slightly. He reached for the medicine box, opened it, calmly picked out the pills — three kinds, seven pills — put them in his mouth, picked up the water cup, and swallowed them in one go.

After doing all this, Shen Zhi sat on the bed for a long time, recalling the scene from the dream — he'd fallen from the 26th floor, and at the last moment, he became a bystander watching himself smash into a bloody mess.

As if suddenly smelling blood, Shen Zhi's throat surged with nausea. He didn't even have time to put on slippers, ran to the bathroom, knelt by the toilet, bent over and vomited.

The medicine he'd just taken was vomited out completely. Shen Zhi stood up and leaned over the sink, rinsing his mouth repeatedly, splashing water on his face. When he finally felt it was enough, he turned off the faucet and heard faint voices from outside the door.

Shen Zhi suddenly raised his head, turned and walked out of the bathroom, through the short corridor, reached for the door.

Xu Yan had just returned, thoroughly satisfied from meeting his idol, chatting, and having a late-night snack. During this time, Yu Xue had sobered up and gone back to her own room. After saying goodnight to Lu Sen next door, Xu Yan sauntered to his door, just about to swipe his card when the door across from him suddenly opened.

He turned and looked at Shen Zhi. The other's face was covered in wet streaks, his bangs had water droplets hanging from them, the whites of his eyes were densely bloodshot, but his lips were very pale, breathing heavily — and he was actually barefoot. It was no exaggeration to say Xu Yan felt Shen Zhi had basically just barely escaped death from somewhere.

But Shen Zhi now only had the relief of a narrow escape — upon seeing that Xu Yan was standing alone in front of him.

Xu Yan was wearing a clean white T-shirt, no marks, no accessories on him, his ten fingers empty. His expression looking over was a bit surprised, but absolutely alive and warm, extinguishing all pathology and despair.

Shen Zhi didn't hesitate for a second. That short distance, but he almost ran, lunging forward to wrap his arms tightly around Xu Yan.

He felt he'd returned to the human world full of the warmth of life.