Chapter 6

Su Xingchuan rested at home for two days.

The pain from his incision hadn't even eased up before his boss Yan Tao yanked him out the door and dragged him to the Zhongjin Group to see Xu Zhengdong.

Xu Zhengdong was as arrogant as ever, aloof and cold, dodging the topic of cooperation the whole time and circling around irrelevant nonsense. Yan Tao talked with him for ages, then invited him to dinner at a Western restaurant near the Zhongjin Building that evening.

Xu Zhengdong glanced at Su Xingchuan beside him and suddenly asked, “Why so quiet, little Su?”

Su Xingchuan smiled. “I was thinking about what you just said.”

Xu Zhengdong looked Su Xingchuan up and down.

He never finalized the proposal the entire time.

Yan Tao was very dissatisfied with Su Xingchuan's performance. After dinner, as they left the restaurant, he said to Su Xingchuan, “You couldn't have had that surgery earlier or later, but you just had to pick right now. The Zhongjin project is at a critical stage, you didn't keep up, and now Xu Zhengdong's stance has changed. All that hard work before — wasted.”

What did Xu Zhengdong's change of stance have to do with him?

Su Xingchuan was fuming inside, but outwardly he could only force a smile. “That was my mistake. I should have briefed the team better, but there's still a chance with President Xu. It'll just take a little more time to wear him down.”

Yan Tao gave a cold sneer. “What I’m hearing is, there’s a major reshuffle coming at the Zhongjin Board of Directors next month. And right now, Xu Zhengdong’s side has made absolutely zero progress. Tell me, how much time do you even have left?”

Su Xingchuan frowned.

The boss is always the first to pass the buck.

Su Xingchuan had genuinely gotten sick from working too hard, and yet in Yan Tao's mouth it became 'delayed work because of the surgery' — just ruthless beyond belief.

Su Xingchuan didn't make any promises, only said he'd do his best.

Seeing how pale Su Xingchuan looked, Yan Tao couldn't be bothered to say more. He got into his car and sped off.

Su Xingchuan hadn't driven. After drinking, his body felt hot and his mind was crowded with too many things. The evening breeze was cutting through the leaves and hitting his face, cool and bracing, so he gave up on a cab and walked along the road toward home. But before he knew it, he'd wound up right at the Zhongjin Building.

Zhongjin — a massive real estate company.

Xu Zhengdong was the one calling the shots at Zhongjin.

Su Xingchuan couldn't stand the guy. He was only thirty-seven or thirty-eight, yet he always put on the airs of a senior in front of Su Xingchuan, sizing him up with that condescending look.

Su Xingchuan looked up at the towering skyscraper, reaching into the clouds.

It didn't really mean anything.

He followed his gaze up to the night sky. The night was quiet and empty, just a few dim stars. When he lowered his eyes, he saw something unexpected: a Rolls-Royce Cullinan parked not far away.

That was Xu Zhengdong's car. He recognized it.

Xu Zhengdong stepped out of the car and stood alone beside it. He saw something, and suddenly a smile that could only be called gentle spread across his face. Then he waved toward somewhere to the side.

Su Xingchuan followed Xu Zhengdong's gaze and saw Li Xuan.

Su Xingchuan thought he was seeing things and looked again to be sure.

It really was Li Xuan.

Li Xuan was wearing a long black padded coat and carrying a backpack, walking over slowly. Xu Zhengdong immediately reached out to take the backpack off his shoulders, then bent down slightly to speak to him, smiling all the while.

The complete opposite of how he'd treated Su Xingchuan during the day.

Li Xuan's expression was indifferent. He just nodded, then got into the car. Xu Zhengdong walked around to the other side and got in.

The door closed.

Su Xingchuan heard a roar inside his ears, and everything around him froze.

*

As soon as Li Xuan got in the car, he pulled out his phone.

Su Xingchuan hadn't sent him a single message all day.

Their conversation was stuck on yesterday: Su Xingchuan had asked if he could sleep on his side, and he'd answered that he could.

He looked at his last reply and silently regretted it. He shouldn't have used such a cold tone.

He should have asked one more thing, like 'How do you usually sleep?' — then the conversation could have continued.

Xu Zhengdong put Li Xuan's backpack in the back seat. From the corner of his eye, he caught Li Xuan's downcast expression and couldn't help asking, “Xiao Xuan, have you been seeing someone lately? You've seemed so out of it these past few days.”

Li Xuan shook his head.

“Tell your uncle about it. Your uncle will give you some advice.”

“No.” Li Xuan just stared at his phone.

His tone was harsh, but Xu Zhengdong didn't get angry.

Li Xuan had been frail since childhood. He was born premature and spent a month in the ICU after birth, delicate as a beautiful, fragile porcelain doll. The whole family doted on him and protected him.

The reason Xu Zhengdong treated him so well wasn't just family ties. Li Xuan's premature birth had actually been Xu Zhengdong's fault. Back when he was young, Xu Zhengdong was wild and rebellious. When his sister was seven months pregnant, he got into a brawl outside school and beat someone so badly they ended up in the hospital. When Li Xuan's mother heard the news, she was so furious she went into labor in the middle of the night. An ambulance took her straight to the hospital, and Li Xuan was rushed into the world.

So Xu Zhengdong had always felt guilty toward his sister and nephew.

All these years, no matter how high and mighty he acted in front of outsiders, with Li Xuan he was nothing but humble and ingratiating.

On top of that, Xu Zhengdong himself liked men. Starting around fifteen or sixteen, Li Xuan also gradually showed signs of liking men.

Li Xuan's mother blamed Xu Zhengdong entirely, insisting that he'd been a bad influence. Xu Zhengdong had no idea if his nephew's sexual orientation had been affected by him. In any case, all he could do was be even better to Li Xuan and protect him from harm as much as possible.

Until seven years ago, when Li Xuan came home crying and locked himself in his room for two or three days. The family was frantic. It was a long time before they found out the kid had had his heart broken.

Xu Zhengdong said, “Your uncle will take you to find him.”

Li Xuan shook his head, still crying, and refused to say anything.

And the matter was left unresolved just like that.

Later, Li Xuan slowly matured. After finishing his master's, he came back and started working at the hospital. He wasn't as spoiled and temperamental as before.

His parents breathed a sigh of relief.

But Xu Zhengdong felt that things weren't that simple.

He studied Li Xuan's dejected expression and understood immediately. He sighed and advised, “Still hung up on that first love? It's been so many years. Let me tell you, first love really isn't that wonderful. Time just puts a filter over it, making you unable to forget. People who are destined to meet but not to be — just let them go.”

Destined to meet but not to be — the cruelest four words in the world.

Li Xuan's mood sank even further.

The car was slowly driving out of the Zhongjin Group's gate. Li Xuan looked out the window and, in a daze, saw a familiar figure.

Li Xuan suddenly sat bolt upright.

Xu Zhengdong continued, “Your uncle recently met a guy your age, works in investment banking, pretty nice personality—”

Li Xuan cut him off, “Stop the car!”

“Huh?”

Li Xuan smacked the back of the front seat, “Stop the car!”

The driver had just slowed down when Li Xuan hurriedly opened the door, jumped out, and threw back, “Uncle, you go on home. Emergency at the hospital.”

Xu Zhengdong called out, “Xiao Xuan, I'll take you there!”

Li Xuan had already dashed off.

Xu Zhengdong muttered to himself, “What kind of emergency could be that urgent?”

*

Su Xingchuan was still frozen in place.

Something came crashing down inside him.

He should be happy. Someone was still taking good care of Li Xuan.

Seeing Xu Zhengdong being so ingratiating reminded him of himself back in the day. Li Xuan always had a way of making people want to spoil him.

Li Xuan had someone looking after him, a stable job, a happy life.

He had his own career and life too.

Everyone was moving forward.

He should take this chance to let go of Li Xuan.

He should let go…

But his heart hurt so much he couldn't stand it. A suffocating pain spread through his body like an electric current, making it impossible to stay calm. He stumbled backward and collapsed onto a roadside bollard.

The next second, Li Xuan was standing in front of him.

Li Xuan's sharp chin was tucked into the collar of his black padded coat. He looked down at Su Xingchuan; with the streetlight behind him scattering light, Su Xingchuan couldn't make out his eyes.

Su Xingchuan stared blankly into Li Xuan's beautiful, clear eyes, their gazes tangled for a long moment, neither wanting to look away first.

Until a car horn blared from the congested road, shattering Su Xingchuan's frozen thoughts and pulling him back to reality.

He immediately turned to look at the intersection. Xu Zhengdong's Rolls-Royce Cullinan was gone.

Su Xingchuan's breath suddenly grew heavy.

This time, Li Xuan spoke first. “You've been drinking?”

He even looked beautiful when he frowned.

Su Xingchuan said guiltily, “Business dinner. Just a little.”

Li Xuan was furious. “Drinking less than three days after surgery? Su Xingchuan, do you think you're still young and can just throw your health away however you want?”

Li Xuan's question was laced with obvious worry.

Su Xingchuan asked lazily, “And just what capacity are you worrying about me in right now? As my doctor or as my ex-boyfriend?”

Li Xuan was momentarily speechless.

“If it's as my doctor, then thank you, Dr. Li. I'll be more careful. I'll come to the hospital on time in a couple of days to have the stent removed,” Su Xingchuan said, his expression suddenly turning distant, his tone light. “If it's as my ex-boyfriend, then there's no need. We broke up seven years ago.”

Seven years since they broke up, but in truth, their actual time as a couple had only added up to a little over four months — just from summer to winter.

Hearing Su Xingchuan say that, Li Xuan's heart sank as well. He took a step back.

Su Xingchuan was about to stand up. He really didn't want to face Li Xuan, or to remember the way Xu Zhengdong had acted just moments ago.

Even though Xu Zhengdong was a bit older, he was still handsome, suave, and the boss of a huge company. Compared to him, what the hell was Su Xingchuan?

His precious Mercedes-Benz GLC, which cost over four hundred thousand yuan, was something he'd agonized over for more than half a year before finally buying. In terms of price, it wasn't even a fraction of Xu Zhengdong's Rolls-Royce Cullinan.

The most frustrating part was, the group president who'd been making his life difficult for two months was his ex-boyfriend's current boyfriend.

Reality was cruel.

He couldn't compete in any way, so it was no surprise Su Xingchuan felt dejected.

He hadn't been recovering well after the surgery. The pain kept him up night after night. And on top of drinking a little tonight, when he stood up, the blood suddenly rushed from his head. Before he could steady himself, he staggered backward.

Li Xuan immediately grabbed his arm and steadied him.

The distance between them closed abruptly, so close that if Su Xingchuan leaned down just a little, he could kiss Li Xuan's forehead.

God, he wanted to kiss him. He dreamed about it.

After Su Xingchuan steadied himself, Li Xuan still didn't let go.

“Where do you live? I—” Li Xuan thought for a moment and changed his words: “What's your boyfriend's number? Have him come pick you up.”

“My boyfriend doesn't live with me,” Su Xingchuan said, shamelessly using his tipsiness as an excuse. “Dr. Li, could you take me home?”

“Sure,” Li Xuan said.

Su Xingchuan hadn't expected Li Xuan to agree.

He was a little stunned.

Just two minutes ago, Li Xuan had been getting into Xu Zhengdong's car.

He no longer had the mind to wonder whether Li Xuan and Xu Zhengdong's relationship was normal. Li Xuan had already hailed a taxi at the curb, then stuffed him inside and sat down next to him.

Li Xuan asked, “Where do you live?”

“Xinchen Mansion, the east gate.”

Li Xuan told the driver, and the car slowly pulled away.

For the twenty-minute ride, they sat side by side like that, neither saying a word, with just a hand's width of space between them. Around turns, their shoulders would occasionally brush.

Su Xingchuan looked out the window, his peripheral vision fixed on Li Xuan the whole time.

A late-night taxi. It reminded him of many years ago, the first time they got a hotel room together.

Back then, Li Xuan had been determined to turn Su Xingchuan gay, spending every day flirting in every possible way, pretending to be experienced. But when it came to the real deal, he chickened out. That day, Su Xingchuan had booked a hotel in the city center. On the taxi ride from school to the hotel, Li Xuan had kept his lips pressed together, not saying a word.

Su Xingchuan had quietly taken his hand, sliding his fingers into Li Xuan's clenched fist and tickling his palm.

As if suddenly letting down his guard, Li Xuan held Su Xingchuan's hand, then tipped sideways and fell into his arms.

Without caring whether the driver could see them, he cuddled up against Su Xingchuan's chest, gazing up at him with pleading eyes, and his leg started creeping bit by bit onto Su Xingchuan's lap, trying to drape it over. But Su Xingchuan pushed it down in time and whispered, “Sit properly.”

Li Xuan pursed his lips at him, and Su Xingchuan helplessly bent down to kiss him.

Barely two minutes later, Li Xuan started getting restless again, rubbing his calf against Su Xingchuan's leg. Su Xingchuan's grip suddenly tightened, and Li Xuan smiled a triumphant little smile, then went back to leaning against Su Xingchuan's chest.

Su Xingchuan was completely helpless against him. Li Xuan was a natural at acting coquettish; his pouting came off genuine and unpretentious, just plain adorable, and Su Xingchuan had no choice but to surrender.

Back then, they were inseparable every day.

And now?

Both of them sat as still as statues, the distance between them like an impassable chasm.

The driver drove a bit recklessly and braked sharply often. Instinctively, Su Xingchuan raised his hand to shield Li Xuan's chest. Li Xuan stared blankly at Su Xingchuan's hand, about to say something, when Su Xingchuan realized his unnecessary gesture and pulled back, not reaching out again.

Soon they arrived at the entrance to the apartment complex.

Su Xingchuan led Li Xuan inside. He didn't ask if Li Xuan wanted to come up for a bit. He didn't want to ask, afraid of hearing a no.

He just walked straight ahead, his steps a little unsteady.

The landscaping in the complex was nice. Colorful lights had been tied to the trees, and Li Xuan was drawn to the snowflake-shaped ones, looking up at them.

From the corner of his eye, Su Xingchuan saw Li Xuan stop. He thought Li Xuan wasn't willing to go on, and his heart skipped a beat.

He slowly turned around and saw Li Xuan staring transfixed at the snowflake lights, watching the colors change, his profile just like it used to be.

That moment of panic gradually dissolved into the air. Su Xingchuan felt the blood finally start flowing through his body again.

Thankfully, Li Xuan hadn't left.

Su Xingchuan threw caution to the wind and laid his cards on the table to himself.

There was no noble reason. He just wanted to bring Li Xuan home.