7

Bring Li Xuan home.

To the Su Xingchuan of seven years ago, that was a simple but utterly unattainable dream.

Back then he was just a student. He could only take Li Xuan to hotels, and he couldn't always afford the best ones. Sometimes they'd end up in lower-end places, and Su Xingchuan always felt like he was shortchanging Li Xuan. After that, he kept dreaming of having his own place.

A place where the sun flooded in from the south, with pure cotton bedding and fluffy down pillows — so the pampered little prince could sleep comfortably.

Too bad Su Xingchuan only managed it at twenty-six.

He hadn't bought it outright. His parents helped with the down payment, and he covered the monthly mortgage. Still, it was his place — a decent start for an ordinary guy.

Su Xingchuan had always thought he was doing pretty well. Good-looking, harmonious family, got into a top university, landed a respectable job, owned an apartment and a car at a young age — he had no reason to feel insecure.

— That is, if he'd never met Li Xuan.

Whenever Li Xuan was in the picture, whether seven years ago or now, he felt like he still wasn't good enough.

Su Xingchuan pointed at a high-rise in front of them. 'I'm on the fifteenth floor, the one on the right — that's my place.'

Li Xuan made a barely audible 'mm.'

Silently, Li Xuan wondered: why isn't he living with his boyfriend? Is it just a fling? Su Xingchuan doesn't seem like the hookup type. And that guy wasn't even good-looking — gave off serious straight dude energy. Is that what Su Xingchuan's into now? What about me? Where does that leave me?

As he was thinking, someone suddenly grabbed his wrist.

Su Xingchuan had caught his wrist through the sleeve of his coat and tugged him aside. 'Steps are this way.'

Li Xuan's wrist stiffened. Su Xingchuan let go right away.

When they reached the door, Su Xingchuan's fingers paused over the keypad. He glanced at Li Xuan.

Li Xuan had no idea what that look meant.

Su Xingchuan lowered his head and punched in six digits. Li Xuan didn't pay attention at first, but as the door opened and he was about to step inside, he froze. That sequence... why did it look familiar?

He couldn't place it right away.

But he had no time to think about it.

Because he saw two pairs of slippers by the shoe cabinet. Two pairs. Men's slippers.

Two pairs. Men's. Slippers.

Su Xingchuan noticed Li Xuan lingering at the door and was about to ask, but then he realized Li Xuan was staring at the gray slippers by the cabinet.

He silently cursed, but kept his face calm.

Those were Xie Liang's slippers.

Xie Liang's apartment had a water pipe issue last month. They had to rip up the wood floors, so his bedroom was unusable. He crashed at Su Xingchuan's for five days, wore these guest slippers the whole time. Right after he left, Su Xingchuan's health flared up and he was in and out of the hospital for days. He hadn't had a chance to tidy up, so the slippers just sat there.

Now those gray slippers lay quietly beside the shoe cabinet.

They were the same style as the dark blue ones Su Xingchuan currently wore.

'A friend stayed over for a few days,' Su Xingchuan couldn't help explaining. 'Just a friend. Those are guest slippers.'

Li Xuan obviously didn't buy it.

He refused to wear them.

He didn't say it, but Su Xingchuan could tell.

Li Xuan would never use something someone else had worn. Su Xingchuan knew his habits — the pampered prince was particular about these things.

So Su Xingchuan rummaged through the cabinet, found an unopened pair of disposable hotel slippers, and handed them over. Only then did Li Xuan put them on.

Su Xingchuan shut the door and went to the living room to turn on the lights.

Li Xuan looked back at the gray slippers. After a moment's thought, he walked over, stomped on them a couple times, then kicked them aside.

Su Xingchuan didn't notice his little retaliation. He just said, 'The renovation just finished this March.'

Li Xuan walked into the living room.

The apartment was around 120 square meters, furnished in a standard modern minimalist style. Everything was tidy and clean. Su Xingchuan wasn't a neat freak, but he'd always been diligent about housework. Even back when they were dating, Li Xuan would toss things aside and Su Xingchuan would pick up after him.

Li Xuan silently scanned the room. Apart from those slippers by the door, there didn't seem to be any obvious signs of someone living here.

So it's not a long-term thing, he thought.

He felt relieved.

But somehow, even more unhappy.

Su Xingchuan poured a glass of water and set it on the coffee table. 'Doctor, because of your orders, I've barely dared to drink anything these past few days.'

Li Xuan thought back.

Oh, right. He'd told Su Xingchuan to hold it and not use the bathroom.

...

Su Xingchuan poured himself a glass, held it to his lips, and asked with a smile, 'Can I drink now?'

Li Xuan turned away, ignoring him. After a long pause, he finally muttered, 'You should drink more water. And eat some pears or bananas.'

'Alright. It hasn't hurt as much these past couple days as it did at first — thanks to Doctor Li's superb skill, and for not holding grudges.'

Su Xingchuan sat down on the side armchair. He spoke politely, as if they were nothing more than an ordinary doctor and patient. Li Xuan's throat felt dry, so he picked up the glass and took a long drink.

'I know you did your grad studies abroad. I heard from your roommate — University of Pennsylvania, right?'

Li Xuan didn't respond.

'After that, I don't know what you've been up to. You haven't kept in touch with your old roommates, so they don't know either,' Su Xingchuan suddenly started talking, unable to stop. 'By the way, I still keep in touch with a few of your roommates. Li Chongyuan went back to his hometown Chongqing, Ye Fei is doing a PhD at Beijing Medical University, and—'

'Why are you still in touch with them?' Li Xuan cut him off.

Su Xingchuan had kept in touch with Li Xuan's roommates, but never once reached out to Li Xuan himself.

Su Xingchuan shrugged. 'There was no reason to cut ties. An extra friend means an extra path — nothing wrong with that.'

After they started dating, Su Xingchuan learned that Li Xuan had a strained relationship with his roommates. Li Xuan was eccentric, not great at taking care of himself, and couldn't really fit into communal living. At one point he'd even applied to be a commuter student so he wouldn't have to stay in the dorms.

Su Xingchuan eventually talked him out of it. He'd brought milk tea and snacks to Li Xuan's dorm, and after a round of greetings, he'd hit it off with the roommates. Su Xingchuan was easygoing, the kind of person who warms up to people instantly. While Li Xuan was in the bathroom, he told the roommates, 'You guys know how it is — he's basically still a kid. I'll take care of him from now on, so please be patient with him.'

Even though Li Xuan's roommates never ended up becoming his friends, the relationship noticeably thawed during their last two years of college. It wasn't as tense and hostile as before.

That was all thanks to Su Xingchuan.

Su Xingchuan had a lot of friends. He could even strike up a conversation with the roasted sweet potato vendor while waiting for a cab.

Li Xuan liked Su Xingchuan. He didn't like Su Xingchuan's friends.

He only wanted Su Xingchuan to revolve around him and no one else.

Back then, and still now.

Li Xuan said sullenly, 'Is it really necessary to have that many friends?'

'Not necessary. But without a petty, jealous boyfriend, I'm bound to make more and more friends.'

That hit a sore spot. Li Xuan shot to his feet, face dark, and turned to leave without a word.

Su Xingchuan stayed seated, not moving.

That phrase — 'petty, jealous boyfriend' — echoed in Li Xuan's ears. It triggered a memory from seven years ago, and the grief was almost suffocating.

Just as he reached the entryway, Su Xingchuan grabbed him and pulled him back.

The world spun.

Su Xingchuan grabbed Li Xuan's arm, yanked him forward and pinned him against the wall. 'Did I say something wrong? When someone was in love they bombarded me with warnings every single day — don't talk to anyone on the basketball team, don't eat with my childhood friends, don't partner with Girl on projects... Am I lying? What are you so pissed about?'

Li Xuan's eyes reddened quickly.

Jealous, Su Xingchuan wondered: has Xu Zhengdong ever seen him like this? Like a pitiful ragdoll cat?

'I think I've done my part,' Su Xingchuan grabbed Li Xuan's hand and pressed it to his own chest. 'You tell me honestly — was I not good to you? I put up with all your little tantrums and whims, accepted every weird thing about you. From the day I knew how I felt, I did everything a boyfriend could do. I can honestly say I gave this relationship my all. And what did I get in return? A breakup with no explanation?'

Tears rapidly pooled in Li Xuan's eyes.

'Why are you crying?' Su Xingchuan cupped Li Xuan's face, his voice demanding. 'What do you have to cry about? I honestly don't get it. You're the one who dumped me — what gives you the right to be upset?'

'Didn't you move on too?' Li Xuan suddenly shouted.

Su Xingchuan was stunned by the outburst.

'After we broke up, you never came looking for me. Now you're with someone new. What right do you have to say anything?'

That was totally shameless logic.

So the one who got dumped has to be the one to beg for a second chance and stay celibate forever just to earn the right to question anything?

'I'm settling old scores with you!' Su Xingchuan said.

Su Xingchuan gripped his shoulders hard. Li Xuan felt the strain in his neck and struggled to break free, but Su Xingchuan knew him better than he knew himself — he practically guessed every move Li Xuan made, intercepted him easily, and pinned him back against the wall.

'I'm not settling anything with you. I want to go home!' Li Xuan shouted.

He pushed hard against Su Xingchuan, but it was like pushing against cast iron. Su Xingchuan held him tight; the more Li Xuan struggled, the more Su Xingchuan pressed into him. Li Xuan thought of kicking, but then remembered Su Xingchuan had just had surgery, so he gave up.

Su Xingchuan heard a tiny, choked sob.

Li Xuan was crying?

He was the last person who wanted to see Li Xuan cry.

He just wanted to know why they broke up back then, and whether Li Xuan still remembered the future they'd planned together...

Just as he was about to soften, Li Xuan's phone rang.

Li Xuan reacted a beat late, pulling out his phone.

It was Xu Zhengdong.

Li Xuan answered. Xu Zhengdong's voice came through the receiver: 'Xiao Xuan, everything okay at the hospital?'

Li Xuan hemmed and hawed, 'Nothing much. A serious emergency came in. I'll be back in a bit.'

He kept his head down the whole time, speaking as if whispering into Xu Zhengdong's ear, his voice soft and agreeable.

Su Xingchuan instantly pieced together what had happened.

Li Xuan had gotten into Xu Zhengdong's car, spotted him, and used 'emergency at the hospital' as an excuse to get out.

And now Xu Zhengdong thought Li Xuan was at the hospital.

Su Xingchuan found it absurd.

What was he, then?

What were these seven years?

Maybe it was a moment of sheer irrationality, or the last traces of alcohol kicking in. Something inside him ignited. Su Xingchuan didn't think — he grabbed Li Xuan's hand, and before Li Xuan could react, he cupped his face and kissed him.

Their lips and tongues tangled, and Su Xingchuan lost all restraint.

He forcefully claimed Li Xuan's dazed half-minute, arms sliding down to circle his waist and pull him close.

Li Xuan's body was always so soft, as if boneless. After a few rough manhandlings from Su Xingchuan, he collapsed against his chest, head tilted back, forced to take it. He pushed a hand against Su Xingchuan's shoulder, but it was useless.

The phone call was still connected.

Su Xingchuan could hear Xu Zhengdong shouting through the phone: 'Xiao Xuan? Xiao Xuan, why aren't you saying anything?'

Xu Zhengdong's voice briefly pulled Li Xuan's thoughts back.

But Su Xingchuan dragged him right back into the vortex with a deep kiss.

Suddenly, the call disconnected.

Silence fell over the apartment, amplifying every intimate sound between their lips. Su Xingchuan felt Li Xuan stop struggling.

Su Xingchuan knew he was truly drunk.

He felt shame at his actions, but as much as he was ashamed, he was also exhilarated.