The Taste of a Cigarette

The next day at noon, Yu Fan was woken up by sunlight hitting his eyelids, and only then realized he'd forgotten to close the curtains again before sleeping.

It was almost the hottest time of the year, and the air itself seemed to shimmer with heat waves.

Blinded by the sun, Yu Fan tilted his head, struggled to close the curtains with his eyes shut, and switched on the fan by his bed.

He waited a moment in the cool breeze before lying flat again.

He stared at the cracked ceiling for a while, then reached over to his pillow, picked up the Doberman Plush from last night, and silently stared back at it.

Then, for no good reason, he punched the plush in the face—

He should've done that to Chen Jingshen at the hospital last night.

Yu Fan analyzed it in his head, expression blank.

It was all Chen Jingshen's fault for kissing him so suddenly and pulling away so fast—if Chen Jingshen had stuck his tongue in again, or touched him, then he'd definitely have had a chance to throw that punch...

After analyzing it seriously for a while, Yu Fan's ears flushed an unnatural red. He closed his eyes, forced himself to cut off that train of thought, rubbed his face hard, and turned the fan up another notch.

Damn weather. Hot as hell.

Yu Fan put the dog plush on the headboard, pulled out his Mobile Phone, opened WeChat, and instinctively glanced at Chen Jingshen's chat first.

Chen Jingshen had sent him 'I'm home' at three in the morning. He hadn't replied, and Chen Jingshen hadn't said anything else.

The familiar group chat was, as always, at 99+ messages, constantly refreshing. Spotting his own name in the preview, Yu Fan propped his head on one hand and lazily tapped in to scroll through the history.

Zhang Xianjing had posted photos from yesterday at the Amusement Park in the group. He had no idea how many she'd taken—just mechanically scrolling up took forever.

The first few dozen were all selfies of Zhang Xianjing and Ke Ting.

Yu Fan glanced at Ke Ting a couple of extra times. He'd barely exchanged a few words with her, really. Ke Ting was introverted, her head always down, so even though they'd been classmates for this long and she'd sat in front of him for most of the semester, he couldn't even clearly describe what she looked like.

In the photo, Zhang Xianjing rested her head against Ke Ting's, and Ke Ting smiled shyly, her round eyes sneaking a glance at Zhang Xianjing.

Yu Fan scrolled for a while longer—selfies, and more selfies.

Just as his patience was about to run out, he saw himself in the next photo.

More precisely, it was a shot of all six of them from behind. In the warm golden light of the Night Market, Zuo Kuan and Wang Luan'an had their arms around each other's shoulders, while Zhang Xianjing held Ke Ting's hand, looking at the cotton candy at a nearby snack stall.

And he, hands in his pockets, walked at the back with Chen Jingshen. The entrance to the Night Market had been narrow and crowded, forcing them to brush shoulders for a short stretch.

Yu Fan stared at the photo for a while, then couldn't help zooming in, squinting in annoyance.

Why the hell were Chen Jingshen's shoulders so much broader than his??

[Zuo Kuan: Who took that back-view shot? Do they even know how to take a photo? Why'd they make me look shorter than Wang Luan'an?]

[Wang Luan'an: Aren't you already short? Do you even hit 175?]

[Zhang Xianjing: I asked a passerby to take it. It looks pretty good. If you don't like it, just blur yourself out.]

[Zuo Kuan: ...Wang Luan'an, you better watch yourself at school.]

[Wang Luan'an: Huh? You're not gonna throw up on me again, are you?]

[Zuo Kuan: Screw you!]

[Wang Luan'an: Hey, but seriously, those Night Market photos are pretty nice. I saved one as my phone wallpaper.]

[Zhang Xianjing: Yeah, Yu Fan took them all. I didn't expect him to be this good at it. @- 　Congrats, you're now the official photographer for Nancheng No.7 Middle School's campus beauty.]

[Zhang Xianjing: [Photo] Except for this one—did you hit the wrong button?]

The photo Zhang Xianjing sent was still the golden, shimmering backdrop of the Night Market, but it contained a very close, blurry white figure.

It was when Chen Jingshen handed him the plush, and he'd accidentally captured it.

After reading through the chat history, ten minutes had passed. Yu Fan stood at the sink brushing his teeth, stared at the failed photo for a few seconds, then backed out and saved a few of the pictures.

[-: Yeah, hit the wrong button. Delete it.]

The moment he sent it, his phone buzzed.

[s: Awake?]

Not awake. That message in the group was typed by a ghost.

Yu Fan mentally replied, then looked up and kept brushing his teeth. He glanced at himself in the mirror—his right cheek was still bruised, his left cheek had a bandage from the scratch Yu Kaiming had left last night. The wound at the corner of his mouth itched when he opened his mouth to brush; probably the nurse had put on too much ointment, and he'd accidentally smeared some into his mouth while sleeping. It tasted weird.

Had Chen Jingshen touched the ointment when he kissed him?

...

Yu Fan suddenly sped up his brushing, bent his head, and picked up his phone again to reply perfunctorily.

[-: No.]

[s: Mm, then if you're awake, open the door for me.]

A few seconds after Chen Jingshen sent the message, he heard a flurry of footsteps inside, followed by a creak as the door opened.

Yu Fan stood there, toothbrush still in his mouth, hair a mess, face covered in injuries, staring at him blankly.

'What are you doing here?' Yu Fan finally mumbled, the toothbrush bobbing with his words. 'When did you get here?'

Chen Jingshen stood by the Balcony, put down his phone, and tilted his head. 'Just got here. What do you want for breakfast?'

Yu Fan was caught off guard. 'I don't know.'

Chen Jingshen set the insulated lunchbox he was carrying in his other hand on the Balcony. 'Then have some congee.'

...

Suddenly, two sets of footsteps came from the stairwell above, accompanied by hushed voices—

'Did you hear the noise downstairs last night?'

'Yeah, scared me to death... Hey, you don't think someone got hurt, do you? I almost called the cops yesterday.'

'Don't. We've tried before, what good did it do? Besides, I don't think either of those father and son are decent people. If we called the cops, they'd probably think we were just meddling. Leave it alone...'

Yu Fan had heard that kind of talk his whole life. It went in one ear and out the other. He didn't care.

But right now, for some reason, he didn't want Chen Jingshen to hear it, and he didn't want anyone to see Chen Jingshen here.

So he grabbed the strap of Chen Jingshen's backpack and roughly pulled him inside.

'Why'd you bring your backpack?' he asked, frowning, only realizing what he'd done after he'd yanked it.

'I brought homework,' Chen Jingshen said. 'Since we have these two days off, want to finish the advanced version?'

Yu Fan was still holding Chen Jingshen's backpack and kind of wanted to shove him back out the door.

Chen Jingshen scanned the room. The things that had been knocked over were all set upright again, but with things broken and damaged, it still looked pretty messy.

'Did that guy come back?' Chen Jingshen asked.

Yu Fan hadn't actually told him who he'd fought with last night, but Chen Jingshen had guessed before, and the neighbors' words just now confirmed it.

'No, he doesn't have the guts to come back.'

Yu Fan had tidied up a bit when he got home last night, tossing the broken little things into a trash bag and dumping them in Yu Kaiming's room.

Normally, he'd probably have trashed Yu Kaiming's room too. But his head had been a mess when he got back last night, so he hadn't gotten around to it.

'Stop looking around. Get the hell into my room.' Yu Fan let go of him, shuffled over in his slippers, and headed back to the bathroom to brush his teeth.

'Mm.' Chen Jingshen adjusted the strap of his backpack and said flatly before going in, 'Brush lighter. The inside of your mouth is cut.'

The sound of brushing in the bathroom abruptly stopped.

A few seconds later, there was a frantic sound of rinsing, followed by a clear, aggrieved curse: 'Damn it, Chen Jingshen, I... I just like brushing hard! Don't you fucking tell me what to do!!'

Yu Fan dawdled in the bathroom for a good ten minutes before coming out.

His hair was dripping wet, and he sat down on the chair with a tight expression, the flimsy chair scraping backward from the force.

He crossed his legs, glared coldly at the insulated lunchbox on the table, and was about to tell Chen Jingshen to take himself and the box and get the hell out—

'Maybe you should just order takeout instead,' Chen Jingshen suddenly said.

'?' Yu Fan turned his head, caught off guard by the preemptive strike, his cold expression tinged with confusion.

'I'm afraid it won't suit your taste,' Chen Jingshen said flatly. 'I got up pretty early, looked at recipes for a long time, and even ruined one batch, but it still might not be very good.'

...

-

After downing a big bowl of congee, Yu Fan's stomach was still full well into the afternoon.

With senior year approaching, the teachers were piling on more and more homework, and the problems were getting harder. Yu Fan struggled all afternoon and barely managed to finish two of the so-called intensive worksheets Fang Qin had handed out. After he was done, he flipped through them—there were more blank questions than answered ones.

So by the time the sky had darkened, Chen Jingshen still hadn't finished explaining the problems to him.

After working through a big problem twice, Chen Jingshen asked, 'Does it make sense?'

Yu Fan propped his head on his hand, staring at the scratch paper in silence for a long time, his expression gradually shifting from numb to annoyed.

Was this even stuff meant for humans to learn?

His hair was suddenly pressed down by someone. Chen Jingshen said, 'This problem's a bit beyond the curriculum. It's normal not to get it. Take a break, then we'll keep going.'

Yu Fan was dazed from the problems and only realized after a moment that his hair had been ruffled again.

He turned his head to curse, but happened to see Chen Jingshen unscrew a Mineral Water Bottle and take a drink. Chen Jingshen tilted his head back, his prominent Adam's apple bobbing with each swallow, his fingers slightly curled around the bottle.

Chen Jingshen's fingers were long and slender, which gave him a kind of casual, commanding feel no matter what he held.

Yu Fan's movements stiffened slightly, and he suddenly felt a tingle in his neck.

Sensing his gaze, Chen Jingshen put down the bottle and glanced at him sidelong, his eyes cool.

Yu Fan's desk was very small. It was fine when he was alone, but it was a bit cramped for two big guys.

Their arms were pressed together, and occasionally their legs touched under the desk. It hadn't seemed like anything when they were working through problems, but now that it was quiet, Chen Jingshen's body heat was especially noticeable.

The moon hung high, and the Rundown Neighborhood was as quiet as it had been when they kissed yesterday.

Chen Jingshen met his gaze, silent and open, the desk lamp reflected in his dark eyes like a silent hook.

Yu Fan felt that the little fan he'd used for seven years needed replacing—the damn thing was just blowing hotter. He tightened his grip on his pen, forced himself to look away. Last night, it seemed like he and Chen Jingshen had bumped noses. It looked pretty high, but it didn't actually hurt when it hit.

His gaze dropped to Chen Jingshen's lips. He'd thought before that Chen Jingshen's lip line was too cold, too thin, that touching them would probably feel like nothing. Actually—

Heat swelled, his heartbeat pounding against his eardrums. In the scorching silence, Yu Fan finally couldn't help it. He tilted his head and slowly, bit by bit, leaned toward Chen Jingshen.

Chen Jingshen sat perfectly still, letting him come closer. Two chaotic breaths quickly tangled together, and if either of them moved even a little closer, they'd collide.

Chen Jingshen's breath brushed against Yu Fan's lips. Yu Fan's mind went numb, one foot dangling over a cliff.

'...Chen Jingshen.' After a long moment, Yu Fan spoke.

Chen Jingshen looked down at him from under his lashes and gave a lazy 'Mm.'

'You should still put some ointment on your lip.'

...

Yu Fan leaned back, pulled the tube of ointment from the drawer, and tossed it to Chen Jingshen. 'Go put it on in the bathroom. There's a mirror there. I'm... gonna have a smoke.'

Chen Jingshen took the ointment and went to the bathroom. Yu Fan sat on the Balcony, afraid of anyone knowing what was going on with him, his back to the room, legs crossed, smoking in a ridiculous pose.

He pressed his forehead against the security bars and banged it a couple of times. His face and ears were so hot they could've steamed an egg, his heart was racing like crazy, and even his breathing wasn't smooth.

He was completely, utterly screwed.

What the hell was this? He hadn't been drinking or fighting tonight, so why was he still so fucking off?

Why... did he want to kiss Chen Jingshen so badly?