Chapter 50

The Dragon Boat Festival holiday ended right on Monday, and the School Playground was already packed with students early in the morning, ready for the flag-raising ceremony.

Wang Luan'an stood at the tail of Senior 2 Class 7's line, so sleepy he kept yawning.

Footsteps came from behind. Wang Luan'an paused mid-reach for his Mobile Phone and turned around listlessly. “I thought you weren't coming for the flag-raising again… Holy shit??”

“Louder,” Yu Fan said lazily, walking to the very end of the line and stopping as he felt others looking their way. “Might as well let the school leaders hear you.”

“No way…” Wang Luan'an stared at the band-aids and bruises on his face, shocked. “Did kids from the other school jump you?!”

“Nah, got into a fight with someone else.”

“Who? Where are they?”

“No idea.” Yu Fan shoved his hands in his pockets. “Probably in some Hospital.”

“…”

Sometimes Wang Luan'an really admired Yu Fan. If he himself had gotten hurt like that, he'd definitely go home crying to his parents and then legitimately take ten days or half a month off to recover.

But from first year of high school until now, no matter how serious the situation, he'd never heard Yu Fan complain or say it hurt. Yu Fan just fought back silently and violently, getting even in his own way.

He always felt like Yu Fan had a kind of toughness and fearlessness that most kids his age didn't have.

“What if Fangqin sees you in a bit?” Wang Luan'an asked.

“She's already seen me.”

“What did you tell her?”

“Got hit by a car.”

“…”

Wang Luan'an could probably guess the look on Fangqin's face right then. His expression was complicated as he couldn't help scanning Yu Fan's body. Actually, it wasn't just his face — the two arms exposed by the summer uniform were also covered in bruises. Yu Fan's skin was pale, so it looked pretty scary.

“Did you go to the Hospital? No fractures…”

“Wang Luan'an.”

Cut off mid-sentence, Wang Luan'an was taken aback. “Huh?”

“Look at me and don't talk,” Yu Fan said.

Wang Luan'an: “What for?”

“Don't talk,” Yu Fan frowned.

“…”

The two stood facing each other, staring at each other for a while.

Yu Fan looked at Wang Luan'an and felt like yawning.

“What are you two doing?” Zuo Kuan stood in the neighboring class's line and frowned. “A no-smiling challenge? I wanna join too… Yu Fan, how'd you get hurt?”

Wang Luan'an's eyes were tired from staring. He also wanted to know what the hell this was about.

Just as he was about to ask, he saw Yu Fan turn his head. “Zuo Kuan, look at me for a second. Don't talk.”

Zuo Kuan: “?”

They stared at each other for a few seconds. Zuo Kuan crossed his eyes, pushed up his nose with his hand, and made a goofy face.

Yu Fan: “…”

Seeing Yu Fan didn't fight back, Wang Luan'an reached out, grabbed Yu Fan's shoulder, bent over, and mimicked someone dry-heaving. “Bleh!”

That was a critical hit. Zuo Kuan charged over ready to fight. “Wang Luan'an, I'll fucking kill you!”

Wang Luan'an dodged immediately. “Bleh bleh bleh, I can't take it anymore! I never wanna ride that thing again in my life!”

Zuo Kuan: “Fuck you, fuck you!”

The two boys thus started a childish game of chase, circling around Yu Fan.

Yu Fan: “…”

This farce didn't end until Zhuang Fangqin arrived.

Wang Luan'an was panting from running. He wiped his sweat before remembering to ask, “Yu Fan, what was that all about?”

Yu Fan said expressionlessly, “Nothing.”

He just wanted to see if he had some kind of condition where staring at a guy for too long made him want to kiss him.

But it didn't seem like it.

Forget kissing — if Fangqin had been even one step later, he was afraid he wouldn't have been able to hold back his fists.

So, it seemed, he just wanted to kiss Chen Jingshen.

The thought barely flashed through his mind, and Yu Fan felt a subtle tingle at the back of his head, a surge of inexplicable excitement. He pressed his thumb against his index finger knuckle. His hands were hidden in his pockets, the small movement noticed only by himself.

The “Athlete's March” suddenly stopped, signaling that the flag-raising ceremony was about to begin. Yu Fan glanced at the empty space behind him and frowned.

“The study god is actually late?” Wang Luan'an followed his gaze and looked back, surprised.

“He's not late,” Wu Cai turned back from ahead. “He's supposed to be on stage today… See, look, he's standing by the Presidium Platform.”

Yu Fan immediately pretended not to care as he stood on tiptoe and looked over.

Beside the Presidium Platform, Hu Pang was leading a few students waiting there. Chen Jingshen stood second in line.

For some reason, even though everyone said Chen Jingshen used to go on the Presidium Platform right before or after him, he actually didn't really remember. But when he looked over now, he felt that Chen Jingshen's quiet, straight silhouette was familiar.

It was like before he went up to read his self-criticism, he really had passed by someone like that. That person always brushed past him with a distant, cold expression, and then at some moment, that person would turn his head — just like now.

Chen Jingshen suddenly looked over. They locked eyes across hundreds of people.

Yu Fan was startled. He thought, I just looked for one second, what are the fucking odds?!

He immediately looked away awkwardly, following the command from the speakers to turn and raise the flag.

The reason Chen Jingshen went on the Presidium Platform this time was that he and a few other students had been selected by Hu Pang as “Senior 2 Year Model Students.” Since there were quite a few model students — five per grade — having each one speak would definitely take too long, so only one student per grade could give a speech.

The one responsible for the speech in Senior 2 was Miao Chen.

“Why isn't the study god giving the speech?” Wang Luan'an muttered ahead. “Hey, isn't that the guy who came to our class looking for the study god last time?”

“Yeah,” Wu Cai said. “Maybe Chen Jingshen didn't want to give a speech himself. The past few semesters, Chen Jingshen was the one who spoke on behalf of the model students.”

Wang Luan'an: “Hu Pang is really extra. Model students — isn't that something from elementary school?”

Yu Fan lifted his head lazily, half-heartedly staring at everyone else on stage, just not looking at Chen Jingshen.

Miao Chen's uniform was neat, and his speech was clear and proper. “Teachers and students of Nancheng No.7 Middle School, good morning. I am Miao Chen from Senior 2 Class 5. I am honored to have received the title of ‘Year Model Student’ this time…”

It was the same old stuff. Yu Fan yawned.

After speaking eloquently for a few minutes, Miao Chen suddenly changed tack. “Actually… in the first semester of Senior 1, I once heard classmate Chen Jingshen's speech as the Senior 1 Year Model Student. Classmate Chen Jingshen studies hard, has excellent grades, and his speech was passionate and brilliant, constantly inspiring me…”

Yu Fan's fingers in his pocket slowly clenched.

“So I have always regarded classmate Chen Jingshen as my academic goal. Today, being able to stand on the Presidium Platform with him makes me very happy. I will continue to work hard to improve myself, so that I can also become a role model for some classmates…”

Chen Jingshen hadn't expected his name to appear in Miao Chen's speech. He glanced at Miao Chen instinctively, and when he looked back, he met the icy eyes from his own class's line.

Chen Jingshen raised an eyebrow at him from a distance, roughly meaning: What's wrong?

Yu Fan flipped him off from afar, roughly meaning: Don't look at me. Get lost.

-

When Chen Jingshen returned to the Classroom, his deskmate was already slumped over the desk.

He returned to his seat, stared at that cold back of the head for a while, moved his hand holding the pen to the side, and brushed the back of his hand against the other's arm resting on the desk. He was about to say something—

“Study god, Miao Chen actually admires you that much? I never noticed before,” Wu Cai said as he passed by their seats.

“Of course. You know how good the study god is to his deskmate. He can even bring up a non-studying study god like Yu Fan, let alone that whatever-Chen,” Wang Luan'an said, putting his arm around Wu Cai's shoulder. “Sit back down, Fangqin's here.”

The two dropped a few sparks into the grass, dusted off their butts, and sat back down.

When Chen Jingshen turned back, a few books had appeared between him and his deskmate, clearly marking a boundary line.

The flag-raising ceremony had taken longer than usual today, eating into the class meeting time. The physics teacher walked into the Classroom holding a Textbook.

“Yu Fan,” Chen Jingshen twirled the pen in his hand, ignoring the books between them, and said calmly, “Miao Chen and I haven't really talked much.”

“Everyone, take out your Textbooks,” the physics teacher pushed up his glasses. “No whispering during class.”

Under the physics teacher's gaze, Chen Jingshen took out his physics Textbook.

When he turned back again, his deskmate had already changed sleeping positions, with an earbud hanging from his ear.

Chen Jingshen: “.”

Yu Fan slept straight through until school let out at noon.

Chen Jingshen placed an extra copy of notes on the “boundary line” and was about to wake him up when someone outside the window suddenly called his name.

“Chen Jingshen,” Miao Chen, carrying a backpack, blinked at him. “Did the physics teacher tell you? Our School is organizing competition training.”

Chen Jingshen capped his pen and hummed in acknowledgment.

Miao Chen said, “Can we share a dorm then? I looked at the list, and I'm not really familiar with the others… I can bring extra snacks! What do you like—”

With a loud bang, the person sitting between them suddenly sat up straight, shoving his chair back. The harsh scraping sound cut off Miao Chen's words.

Yu Fan took out his Mobile Phone from the drawer, stood up, and stared expressionlessly at the person outside the window.

“Move,” he said.

When Yu Fan woke up, his eyelids would go cold and tight, making him look especially fierce. Miao Chen was so scared he quickly nodded and moved aside to make room.

Yu Fan stepped onto his chair, climbed out the window, and left without looking back.

From waking up to leaving, he didn't even glance at Chen Jingshen.

“Does he… always leave the Classroom like this?” Miao Chen gripped his backpack straps in lingering fear, watching Yu Fan disappear down the hallway. “And I just saw him, he looked like he just woke up? Doesn't the teacher care?”

There were still classmates on duty nearby. Miao Chen lowered his voice and leaned a bit into the window. “Oh, I've been meaning to tell you… I heard he has a bad temper and hits people. Did you know?”

“He even went on the Presidium Platform with you, but he was reading a self-criticism… Why don't you ask the teacher to change seats? The teacher would probably be willing to swap you.”

“Ah, I didn't finish asking earlier. Do you have any favorite foods… Chen Jingshen?”

Chen Jingshen silently and hastily packed his bag, slung it over his shoulder, and was about to say something when the Mobile Phone in his pocket suddenly vibrated.

“[-: Classroom on the first floor of the Experimental Building. Get over here and return something.]”

Return what?

Chen Jingshen thought back to what he might owe. His furrowed brows slowly relaxed.

“Chen Jingshen?” Miao Chen asked in a shocked whisper. “You brought your Mobile Phone to School?”

“Mm.” Chen Jingshen put his Mobile Phone back in his pocket and looked up. “No need.”

Miao Chen was taken aback. “What?”

“Don't need to bring me anything. I already told the teacher about the training — I'm not participating.”

Miao Chen stared at him blankly, not understanding why Chen Jingshen would give up a spot that everyone was competing for.

Chen Jingshen walked out the back door, then turned back as if remembering something.

He said calmly, “From now on, if there's nothing important, don't come looking for me.”

-

After school, the Experimental Building was empty. Occasionally a few students would go to the low wall next to the Experimental Building to pick up food delivery, but they wouldn't look inside.

When Chen Jingshen arrived at the experimental classroom, Yu Fan was sitting on the desk in the last row playing on his Mobile Phone, his feet dangling in the air, posture lazy.

Hearing the sound, Yu Fan didn't even look up and said coldly, “Too slow.”

Chen Jingshen locked the classroom door. “Mm, had to take care of something.”

Yu Fan wanted to ask what, but the words died on his lips.

“Come here,” he ordered like a boss.

Chen Jingshen took off his bag and tossed it onto a chair by the door, then obediently walked up to Yu Fan.

Yu Fan put his Mobile Phone aside, looked up, and silently faced off with him for a moment.

He had already pulled the curtains. But the curtains in this abandoned classroom didn't block the light, so the room was still bright. The top of the curtain wasn't fully closed, and a beam of sunlight happened to fall on Chen Jingshen's face. His eyes glowed darkly in the light, deep and clear.

Yu Fan confirmed it. He really did want to kiss Chen Jingshen — every time he looked at him, he wanted to.

Expressionless, he reached out, grabbed Chen Jingshen's uniform, gave it a slight tug, and said, “Bend down yourself.”

Chen Jingshen tilted his head down, spreading his hands to brace on either side of Yu Fan.

Yu Fan smelled the mint scent on him. His Adam's apple moved. He pulled harder on Chen Jingshen's clothes, tilted his head up, and was about to make contact—

Chen Jingshen pulled back a little, and Yu Fan kissed nothing but air.

They were inches apart, their breaths intimately intertwined. Just like that night when they didn't kiss.

Yu Fan felt Chen Jingshen's breath and looked up. “What's the meaning of this?”

“Before this, I want to tell you something.”

Chen Jingshen said, “Miao Chen and I aren't close.”

Yu Fan: “…Who cares if you're close or not? Why are you telling me this?”

“I'm talking to myself,” Chen Jingshen said calmly. “I haven't been nice to other deskmates. He occasionally comes to ask me questions, and I teach him a bit, the same way I do with Wang Luan'an and the others.”

Yu Fan paused for two seconds. “Chen Jingshen, you're so noisy.”

“Mm. But I feel like I haven't said it in too long,” Chen Jingshen leaned forward a little. “I don't have any special feelings about deskmates. I'm nice to you because I…”

Yu Fan immediately cut him off. “Chen Jingshen—”

“Like you,” Chen Jingshen said.

“…”

Yu Fan actually hadn't figured out why he was angry before.

At first he thought he just found Miao Chen annoying, always clinging to Chen Jingshen everywhere. But after he locked eyes with Miao Chen just now, he realized that wasn't it.

Until now, he seemed to vaguely understand.

There was a guy as outstanding as Chen Jingshen, practically worshiping and chasing after him.

Yu Fan had always thought Chen Jingshen must be blind to like him.

Chen Jingshen could regain his sight at any time. He could start liking another guy at any moment. Like Miao Chen, who was cute-looking, gentle-natured, and academically excellent.

But at least at this very moment, Chen Jingshen still liked him.

Yu Fan was silent for a few seconds, then raised his hand to hook around Chen Jingshen's neck, making him lower his head to kiss him.

Chen Jingshen didn't move at all, and Yu Fan had zero experience being the one to initiate. He lightly pecked Chen Jingshen's lips a few times, dryly pressing together and pulling apart, intimate and hot.

Yu Fan's head was spinning, his heart racing out of control, yet he felt something was missing. His mind was a mess. It took him a while before he seemed to catch on and touched Chen Jingshen's lip seam. Chen Jingshen cooperatively opened his mouth. Yu Fan's tongue slipped inside, and the moment it touched Chen Jingshen's teeth, his hand braced on the desk unconsciously tightened.

A burst of laughter came from outside — probably students picking up food delivery.

Yu Fan's heart jumped. Instinctively he wanted to pull back, but the next second, Chen Jingshen raised his hand to press against the back of his neck and pushed him back.

Chen Jingshen's kiss had nothing in common with his usual self. Yu Fan's chin kept uncontrollably tilting up as he was kissed, barely able to breathe. After a while, Chen Jingshen briefly let go, kissed the corner of his glistening lips, and said, “Breathe.”

Yu Fan obediently took a breath, then was kissed again.

After who knows how long, Yu Fan was finally released.

The empty classroom was left with only the sound of their heavy breathing.

“Yu Fan.”

Yu Fan's eyes were a bit wet from the kissing. He answered dazedly, “Mm.”

Chen Jingshen's hand was still on the back of his neck. He casually ruffled the hair at the back of his head and asked in a low voice, “With your ex-girlfriends, did you also kiss first and then define the relationship?”