Chapter 51

The red crept from Yu Fan's ears all the way to his face. He half-closed his eyes and swallowed — he hadn't been drinking, but he felt a little tipsy.

He'd seen other people kiss before. On TV, in movies, in the classroom hallway. Zhang Xianjing used to date a senior from Grade Twelve, and she'd peck him right in front of everyone.

He'd never been interested in that kind of thing — couldn't even understand it. Mouth on mouth, swapping spit, what was the point?

Now he kind of got it. He didn't know how it was for other people, but kissing Chen Jingshen was fun. It felt really good.

To make it easier, Yu Fan spread his legs and let Chen Jingshen lean in. His breath was full of Chen Jingshen's scent.

After the kiss, the tension in him had completely dissolved. He looked lazy all over. "What girlfri—"

He paused for two seconds, suddenly alert, and cut himself off. "What relationship?"

Chen Jingshen's gaze dropped calmly. He thought for a moment, then said, "A romantic relationship?"

"..."

The unfamiliar word threw Yu Fan off.

Romantic? Who? Him and Chen Jingshen??

Just thinking about it made Yu Fan's heart race. Wasn't that puppy love? That was against school rules!

A flicker of confusion crossed Yu Fan's face. He'd never thought about being in a relationship. How did you even do it? Could he do it right? He had no clue.

The storm in his head went on for a while. Yu Fan pressed his lips together a few times. "...Who says you have to define the relationship just because you kissed?"

Chen Jingshen raised an eyebrow. "So after you kissed girls before, you didn't define the relationship with them either?"

"How is that poss—" Yu Fan wanted to go back and slap his past self for making up thirteen girlfriends. Face red, he said coldly, "Model student, puppy love violates school rules."

"Kissing doesn't violate them?"

"No. The rules only say no intimate contact between boys and girls. They don't say anything about two guys." Yu Fan emphasized, "I've copied them plenty of times."

"..."

Chen Jingshen said flatly, "So you're saying we don't define the relationship, but we can still kiss?"

Every time Chen Jingshen said "kiss," Yu Fan's brain got a little hotter. Was this something you could just say out loud??

Yu Fan looked away and mumbled, "Something like that."

Chen Jingshen felt like he was being kind of played.

But looking at Yu Fan's flushed face and deliberately avoiding eyes, he somehow found it funny.

Only now did Yu Fan realize how weird their position was. It was like a hug, but not quite. He was pinned against the desk by Chen Jingshen, unable to move freely, and if he looked up he'd almost touch him.

Wasn't this way too... intimate?

He turned his head and stared at the half-window visible through the curtain gap for a while. He was thinking about whether to kick Chen Jingshen away or push him, when suddenly his chin was grabbed.

Chen Jingshen turned his head back and leaned in to quietly kiss him again.

Just a simple press of lips, nothing deep — but it made Yu Fan feel Chen Jingshen's presence even more clearly.

Yu Fan stared up blankly, thinking, here we go again. Can't you at least give a heads-up before you kiss? Have some respect!

When he was let go, the swear words were already on the tip of Yu Fan's tongue. But when he looked up and saw Chen Jingshen's eyes, he swallowed them.

Chen Jingshen's eyes dropped slightly, his voice emotionless. "If you don't want to be with me, then forget it."

"..."

It's not that I don't want to be with you—

Yu Fan forced himself to hold back those words.

Chen Jingshen wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "Want to go to lunch together?"

"...Mm." Yu Fan couldn't help glancing at Chen Jingshen's mouth, then frowned. "Chen Jingshen, you didn't put on any ointment?"

The spot on Chen Jingshen's lip that had been broken before was even redder now.

"No. I was afraid you'd think it tasted bitter." Chen Jingshen moved aside. "Let's go."

"..."

Even after leaving the dim, cool Experimental Building and walking across the School Playground, Yu Fan still couldn't figure out how Chen Jingshen had been so sure he'd kiss him. He'd even deliberately skipped the ointment??

The sun was blazing. Yu Fan felt the heat on his hair and suddenly spoke. "Chen Jingshen."

Chen Jingshen turned his head to look at him.

Yu Fan had his hands in his pockets, already back to his usual fierce look, his tone chilly. But what he said was, "...Next time you kiss me, ask first."

-

During afternoon class, the students around were either fanning themselves with notebooks or pulling at their clothes to create airflow.

The cicadas' chirping mixed with Zhuang Fangqin's voice explaining problems. Yu Fan found it annoying.

Yu Fan lay on his desk, one hand doodling on scratch paper, the other bent behind his neck. He couldn't help glancing at his deskmate.

Chen Jingshen was doing a physics competition paper during math class. When Chen Jingshen had no expression, he looked very cold. Yu Fan took one look at him and felt a little cooler.

Even in summer, Chen Jingshen always had all his uniform buttons done up. His exposed arms and neck were clean, with no sign of stuffy heat. His skin and lips were cooler than most people's — when Yu Fan touched them at noon, it felt really nice—

Chen Jingshen's pen paused. He looked up at the blackboard, then turned back. "Didn't understand?"

"...No, I got it." Suddenly feeling hot again, Yu Fan quickly turned his head away.

When that class ended, Yu Fan got up and went to the bathroom to splash cold water on his face.

The cool water hit his face and neck, and he instantly felt much better.

Last period was self-study. In this heat, he might as well skip it and go to the Bubble Tea Shop for some air conditioning.

Yu Fan was planning this as he walked back into the Classroom. But the moment he stepped through the back door, several classmates sitting near the back all turned to look at him at once, curiosity barely hidden on their faces — except for Chen Jingshen.

Yu Fan swept his eyes over Chen Jingshen's straight back, then frowned at one of the classmates staring at him. "What?"

Wang Luan'an grinned at him. "Nothing."

"..."

Yu Fan walked toward his seat. Before he could say anything, Chen Jingshen silently stood up to make room.

Yu Fan felt something was off. Frowning, he sat back down.

After the Dragon Boat Festival, the study atmosphere had gotten a bit more tense. In the time he'd gone to the bathroom, several more test papers had appeared on his desk.

Yu Fan grabbed the papers and stuffed them into his drawer. His fingers touched something thin.

Thinner than a workbook, thicker than a test paper.

What was that?

Yu Fan pulled it out. A sky-blue envelope emerged, along with a faint perfume scent. On it was a delicate, slender handwriting he didn't recognize.

"?!"

Yu Fan froze, holding the letter, then instinctively turned to look at Chen Jingshen.

There was no mirror in front of him, so he didn't know he had the exact expression of someone caught cheating.

Chen Jingshen was still working on his physics paper, his profile cold and indifferent. He twirled his pen without a word.

Wang Luan'an had been waiting for him to pull out his drawer for a while. He immediately rushed out of the Classroom and leaned on the window next to Yu Fan. "Come on! Open it!"

Yu Fan snapped back to reality and turned his head. "Who put it there?"

"That girl from Zuo Kuan's class. She's got guts — Zhuang Fangqin had only just left... The letter almost fell out when she stuffed it in." Zhang Xianjing flipped her hair. "The top student helped you push it back in."

"..."

Wang Luan'an urged him again. "Open it and see!"

"See my ass." Yu Fan pressed the letter into his palm and held it out the window. "Take it back to her for me."

"Really not gonna look? Aren't you curious what it says? I saw that girl from Class Eight earlier — she's really pretty—" Catching a certain someone's gaze, Wang Luan'an paused. "...Just a little less than Sister Jing."

Yu Fan shot a cold glare out the window.

"Got it. I'll have Zuo Kuan take it back." Wang Luan'an took the love letter and was about to head to the next classroom, then suddenly thought of something and turned back. "Hey, wait, that's not right..."

"What?"

Wang Luan'an stared at Yu Fan, looking him over in surprise. "Yu Fan, you didn't even blush this time??"

"?"

"Oh oh oh, looks like you're blushing a little now..."

That's because you pissed me off.

Yu Fan said, "Are you going or not? If not, give it back — I'll do it myself."

"I'm going, I'm going." Wang Luan'an ran off with the letter.

The matter settled, the bell for self-study class rang right on time.

Yu Fan had lost the urge to go to the Bubble Tea Shop for air conditioning. He picked out a math paper and lay on his desk, working on it for a while.

His mind wasn't on the paper. Several minutes passed and he still hadn't even read the first problem properly.

Yu Fan ran a hand through his hair and glanced to the side.

Chen Jingshen was working calculations on scratch paper, expressionless.

He glanced again.

Chen Jingshen leaned back in his chair and wrote an answer on the paper.

Another glance.

Chen Jingshen flipped his paper over.

The fourth time he looked over, Yu Fan finally couldn't help it. Frowning, he leaned a little closer and said quietly, "Chen Jingshen, what's with the sour face??"

Chen Jingshen didn't turn his head. "Nothing."

"Bullshit nothing." Yu Fan said, "You've got a sour face. I can tell."

If anyone had been watching, they'd have thought Yu Fan was picking a fight, because Chen Jingshen's expression right now was almost exactly the same as usual.

After a moment, Chen Jingshen moved his fingers, flipped the pen around so the tip rested on the desk, and turned to look at him.

"Nothing. I just—" He stopped mid-sentence. "Never mind, it's nothing."

"?"

Yu Fan elbowed Chen Jingshen's arm. "Finish what you were gonna say!"

Chen Jingshen was silent for a while, then spoke just as Yu Fan was about to explode.

"I was just thinking," he said flatly, "if I were a girl, you'd probably be willing to define the relationship with me."

"??"

Yu Fan was stunned for a few seconds. "What does that have to do with you being a guy or a girl?"

"You defined the relationship with every girl you kissed." Chen Jingshen stated.

"I..."

Once again, Yu Fan was left speechless by his own bullshit lie.

Chen Jingshen looked at him for a while. When he saw that Yu Fan couldn't get a word out, he turned back to his problems.

Yu Fan was spinning his pen so fast it was practically smoking.

"Some students," Zhuang Fangqin, who was monitoring their self-study, spoke up from the podium, "if you have ADHD, stand up and bounce around a bit. Don't torture that poor pen."

Yu Fan forced himself to stop spinning. After a long moment, he leaned over again. "It's got nothing to do with gender. I just... don't want to be in a relationship right now, understand?"

Chen Jingshen was quiet for a few seconds, then gave a flat "Mm."

He clearly didn't believe it at all.

Yu Fan: "..."

Yu Fan scratched his head and fidgeted through the entire self-study class, unable to think of any way out except confessing that his dozen-plus ex-girlfriends were all bullshit.

When the bell rang, Yu Fan absentmindedly searched his drawer for books to take home. The person next to him suddenly spoke.

"Can I come to your place tonight?"

Come to his place for what? Homework?

Maybe because Chen Jingshen looked too clean and proper, Yu Fan instinctively didn't want him to see his crappy slum. If the neighbors saw, there'd be gossip for sure.

Yu Fan thought about it. "Forget it. Video call's fine. My desk is tiny — two guys would be cramped."

Chen Jingshen paused in packing his bag and gave a flat "Oh."

"If I were a girl, maybe it wouldn't be so cramped," he said. "I get it. It's fine."

"..."

Yu Fan bundled his books into a cylinder, gripped it tightly, and kicked the leg of Chen Jingshen's chair. "Get up. I need to get out."

Chen Jingshen stood up and moved aside.

Yu Fan got up and, in a voice only the two of them could hear, gritted out each word: "Come at eight. If you're even a minute late, I'll beat your ass."

Yu Fan was about to leave when his uniform T-shirt was suddenly tugged.

"Mm." Chen Jingshen's eyes dropped. "Then can I kiss you tonight?"

"...?"

Yu Fan's brain went blank. His face exploded red! He barely held back the urge to smack Chen Jingshen with the book in his hand. Embarrassed and furious, he whispered, "No! Chen Jingshen, we're in the Classroom!"

"I know." Chen Jingshen said. "That's why I said I'd kiss you at your place."

"............."