Chapter 30

On the second day of the New Year, Xu Yan made a trip to Shen Zhi's city. Of course he wasn't going to find Shen Zhi—he was there for a college roommate's baby's one-month celebration. As it happened, the heavy snow had pushed back the Hokkaido trip by two days; otherwise the timing would have been too tight, and Xu Yan might not have been able to come.

Just after lunch, Xu Yan came out of the hotel, said goodbye to his roommates, and went down the steps to find his car. His phone rang—it was Lin Mian calling. Ever since that day she had come to find him, she had been calling him at odd intervals to pester him with utterly pointless things: Shen Zhi is sick, aren't you going to come see him? I'm not getting engaged to Shen Zhi, do you want to consider getting back together with him? Happy New Year, by the way—Shen Zhi just got out of the Hospital and drove off, probably to look for you…

"Hello, Miss Lin."

"Xu Yan." The wind was loud on the other end. Lin Mian said, "I'm going to jump off a building."

"Oh." Xu Yan asked, "Which floor?"

"Thirty-sixth floor. The rooftop."

Xu Yan had been about to tell her not to joke around, but Lin Mian suddenly burst into tears and said, "My parents are arranging for me to meet someone else again. I don't want to get engaged. What am I supposed to do…"

Xu Yan suddenly realized this crazy woman might actually be serious. He gripped his phone hard and asked, "Where are you?"

"Xu Yan, I'm a little envious of you. After all, Shen Zhi still knows how to feel regret. But no matter what I do, he won't turn back." Lin Mian answered a question he hadn't asked, then hung up. When Xu Yan called back, she hung up immediately.

He was at a loss. He didn't know whether Lin Mian was simply throwing a tantrum or had genuinely lost the will to think things through, but her emotions were far too unstable—handled badly, this could really go wrong. Without thinking, Xu Yan called Shen Zhi. The call connected quickly, and after a moment's hesitation Shen Zhi asked, "Xu Yan?"

"Lin Mian just told me she's going to jump off a building. I don't know if it's real." Xu Yan spoke fast. "I asked her where she was, she wouldn't say—only that it's the thirty-sixth floor rooftop."

"She's been staying at a hotel these past few days. I'll have someone check." Shen Zhi pressed the intercom, gave his assistant a few instructions, and got a reply in under half a minute. "The hotel she's staying at happens to be thirty-six floors. I'm heading there now."

"Send me the hotel name." Xu Yan said.

"All right." Shen Zhi said. "Drive carefully."

At the base of the hotel, Xu Yan looked up but couldn't see anyone on the top floor. He hurried into the lobby and heard someone call out, "Xu Yan."

It was Shen Zhi—he must have just arrived too. He reached a hand out to Xu Yan. "Police have already been called. Take the VIP elevator, it'll be faster."

Xu Yan ran over and was pulled by the hand into the elevator by Shen Zhi.

The numbers climbed slowly. Xu Yan pulled his hand free. Shen Zhi held the empty palm for a moment, then said, "Lin Mian has been fighting with her family this whole time."

"What's going on between her and her boyfriend?" Xu Yan asked.

"Her boyfriend is starting a business. His circumstances aren't great." Shen Zhi said. "Their family backgrounds are too far apart. The last time they fought, he brought up breaking up. Lin Mian agreed on impulse, and after that our two families started discussing the engagement."

"Lin Mian thought her boyfriend would try to keep her, but until now he hasn't come to see her. The pressure on Lin Mian isn't small either—she probably just couldn't hold up anymore."

Xu Yan nodded, with no heart to think too much about it. The elevator doors opened, the two of them stepped out, climbed another half flight of stairs, and finally reached the rooftop.

Lin Mian was standing with her back to them, inside the low wall. Xu Yan didn't dare to startle her; he could only call out softly, "Lin Mian."

Lin Mian turned around. Her eyes were red, tears still on her face, and she was dressed thinly, her long hair flying in the wind. She choked out, "I feel so awful."

"I know. Come over here first—standing there is dangerous." Shen Zhi said. "Whatever it is, I'll handle it for you."

"You can't solve this." Lin Mian shook her head. "My parents want me to marry someone else, and he won't even acknowledge me… I'm being driven crazy."

Xu Yan could never have imagined the lively little princess from not long ago turning into this. He asked, "He won't see you, so you jump off a building? For someone who doesn't take you seriously?"

Lin Mian wiped at her eyes and said nothing. The weather wasn't good today—the clouds were dark and heavy—and she stood there in white pajamas, like the only white cloud in the sky. Xu Yan said, "I know you're in pain, but if you do something rash today, nothing can be undone."

"Listen to me." He held his hand out toward Lin Mian. "Come over here first. It's too cold out here, and you're wearing so little—you'll catch a cold."

Lin Mian looked at him with her lips pressed tight, tears spilling from her eyes. She turned her body slightly, as if moved by his words—but before she could take a step, a clatter of footsteps came from the stairwell, and a woman's voice broke into anguished crying: "Mianmian! Why would you do something so stupid!"

It was Lin Mian's parents. Xu Yan instinctively glanced back, and when he turned his head again, he saw Lin Mian quickly step up onto the low wall, shouting emotionally, "What are you doing here!"

"Come down first, please come down—mommy's begging you!"

"Look at the state of you!" Lin Mian's father said darkly. "Get down here this instant!"

Lin Mian suddenly went quiet—that was not a good sign. She turned around and took a step forward, her nightgown billowing in the wind as if she were about to take flight. Lin Mian's mother let out a scream and fainted on the spot. Her father finally grasped how serious it was, his voice trembling: "Mianmian, don't do anything rash—it's our fault. Come down first."

Xu Yan said calmly, "Lin Mian, your mother has fainted. Aren't you going to look?"

Lin Mian froze and turned her head. In the instant she turned, Shen Zhi—who had already circled to the other side—stepped forward swiftly, wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her down, rolling on the ground with her. Xu Yan ran over to them. Lin Mian had already passed out; he dropped to one knee and lifted her up. Shen Zhi lay on the ground clutching his right wrist and said, "Take her to the Hospital." Xu Yan nodded and carried Lin Mian off the rooftop.

Lin Mian was admitted to the Private Hospital. Xu Yan and Shen Zhi explained the situation to the fire department and the police and apologized. Shen Zhi's ill-fated right wrist was wrapped in bandages again—he'd knocked it when he hit the ground. Fortunately it was only a scrape, no fracture or dislocation. Lin Mian came to quickly but refused to see her parents. By the time Xu Yan and Shen Zhi returned to the ward, heavy rain had started outside. Lin Mian leaned against her pillow, her face dull and colorless.

"Why did you only call me?" Xu Yan asked her.

"I figured you definitely couldn't find me. I wanted to find someone to say a few last words to." Lin Mian said. "Xu Yan, you're so good—you said you'd let go and you did, no looking back."

"I used to chase after people, and it was too tiring. Now I want to move forward." Xu Yan walked over and began peeling an apple for her. "Don't do anything stupid from now on."

Lin Mian looked at the bandage on Shen Zhi's wrist and said, "I'm sorry."

"Save that for the fire department, the police, and your parents." Shen Zhi said.

Lin Mian nodded obediently.

Xu Yan handed her the apple, stood up to wash his hands, and glanced out the window—and suddenly froze. "Why is that person running around in the rain?"

Lin Mian heard it. She flung off the covers, leapt out of bed, and threw herself to the window. They saw a man running through the cold winter rain toward the Hospital building. On the way he ran into a security guard, stopped, and gestured frantically at him—probably looking for someone. Xu Yan turned to look at Lin Mian's reddening eyes—he was looking for her.

The security guard reached out to offer the man an umbrella. He waved it off, turned, and rushed back into the rain.

Lin Mian watched for a moment, then suddenly squatted down, her face buried in her arms, her shoulders heaving as she cried.

"When I was with him, he was so poor he didn't have a single cent to his name. Now he has his own Company. Everything's clearly getting better—why doesn't he want me anymore?" Lin Mian said through her tears. "I know he's under a lot of pressure at work, but I've been so understanding. Why did he just say 'let's break up' like that…"

Because once a person enters society and starts making a living, they gradually come to feel the weight of reality. Xu Yan wanted to tell her: he probably realized, in the process of fighting for a future, that he could never give her a life on par with the one her family of origin could offer. Men always carry a sad and helpless kind of pride in this regard—there was no way around it.

Xu Yan and Shen Zhi stepped out of the ward and indeed saw that man standing soaked through in front of the bodyguard. His lips were pale, he was trembling slightly, but he still spoke with composure: "I'm Lin Mian's… a friend. I heard she's ill."

Shen Zhi signaled the bodyguard to let him in.

Zhou Chen stood in the ward. Lin Mian had already sat back on the bed and wouldn't look at him. "What are you doing here?"

"When are you going to grow up?" Zhou Chen's back was rigid. "Why would you play around with something like this?"

Lin Mian's shoulders sank—that was the disappointment of hope shattering. She said, "Yeah, I'm this kind of annoying rich-girl temperament. Isn't that what you're always saying about me?"

Zhou Chen's throat worked. He turned to leave, and Lin Mian immediately called after him, "Zhou Chen!"

"I just want to ask you one thing." Tears pattered down onto the blanket. Lin Mian said, "Do you still love me or not?"

The storm washed against the windows. The room was silent. A long time later, Lin Mian heard Zhou Chen say, "No."

"I understand." Lin Mian suddenly smiled, looking at his back. "I won't bother you anymore after this."

Zhou Chen said nothing. He opened the door and walked out without looking back.

Xu Yan and Shen Zhi stood in the corridor. It was a little dim. Xu Yan leaned against the wall and was silent for a while, then he took Shen Zhi's wrist and lifted it to look. The bandage was wound tight and neat; on the back of his hand were a few small needle marks left from his Hospital stay, already scabbed over. The old burn seemed not to have left any obvious scarring—thank goodness.

After a few seconds Xu Yan let go, then said, "It hurts on rainy days." It wasn't a question. He knew it well—bone injuries generally ached on rainy days, and Shen Zhi was no exception. In the past, Xu Yan had always made sure he did his hot compresses.

"Mm." Shen Zhi replied.

Xu Yan was about to say something else when Shen Zhi suddenly reached out and hugged him. Xu Yan was caught off guard; before he could react, his whole body had already been pulled into the embrace. Shen Zhi held him very tightly. They had never had an embrace like this before—at most, in bed, driven by desire, the posture required it.

Shen Zhi buried his face in the side of Xu Yan's neck, his warm breath washing over Xu Yan's skin, his whole body seeming to relax. Xu Yan slowly raised his hand, his palm against Shen Zhi's waist, sliding upward, through the press of their bodies, across his chest. Shen Zhi's breath deepened at once—but in the end Xu Yan only braced his shoulder, applied a little force, and pushed him away coldly.

"I have something to do. I'm heading back first." Xu Yan said.

Shen Zhi lowered his hand. "I'll walk you to your car at the hotel."

"No need." Xu Yan brushed past his shoulder to the door, pulled it open, and went out.