Chapter 31

On the fifth day, Xu Yan and Lu Sen arrived in Otaru. There were quite a few tourists this year, but luckily the Photography Team had booked rooms in advance. The male and female leads would arrive that evening, stay one night, and leave the following evening. For the rest of the time, Lu Sen planned to scout some establishing shots and footage, shooting around—altogether about three days.

They had barely set their things down when Lu Sen called everyone to the hot springs. After soaking, the group immediately went out for Japanese cuisine. Xu Yan hadn't even had a chance to see how heavy the snow outside was before being told the two leads had already arrived and that they needed to head back for a brief meeting.

They went over tomorrow's schedule and shooting content, discussed costumes and makeup, and everyone turned in early. Xu Yan had just finished his shower when he heard a knock at the door—it was Lu Sen.

"You shower after the hot springs? Xu Nian said he tried calling you and no one picked up, and now he's interrogating me about whether I sold you off."

"He's got problems," Xu Yan said.

Lu Sen sat down on the floor cushion and sent Xu Nian a voice message: "Your brother says you've got problems."

Xu Nian replied almost immediately: Get lost, now!

The room was warm. Xu Yan sat in his yukata chatting with Lu Sen—about tomorrow's shoot, about the next issue's cover preparation for the Company, about a celebrity who'd been blacklisted from the fashion world for various absurd stunts. Lu Sen was an unpretentious person, with real photographic talent and a fine family background and resources; the award-winning actors, supermodels, and top-tier celebrities he'd shot were too many to count. But Xu Yan felt there was nothing of the fashion or entertainment world's flashiness about him—instead, there was something gentle and withdrawn at his core. For instance, Lu Sen had openly admitted that this trip to Hokkaido was purely to slack off and rest, and also because he wanted to eat Rokka Tei's sweets...

While they were chatting, a WeChat voice call suddenly came in. Xu Yan picked up his phone and looked—and froze. It was Shen Zhi's assistant. He couldn't imagine what she could possibly want with him. After a moment's hesitation, he answered. There was a two-second pause on the other end, then Shen Zhi's voice came through: "Xu Yan."

...Xu Yan understood. His boss himself had long been blocked, so he'd commandeered his assistant's WeChat to make the call—and on top of that, after arriving in Hokkaido, Xu Yan had gotten a Japanese SIM card from a colleague, so his domestic number couldn't be reached.

Xu Yan didn't say anything. Seeing the situation, Lu Sen stood up, clearly intending to leave. Xu Yan looked up at him, and Lu Sen suddenly said: "Why don't you change into your own pajamas? They're more comfortable to sleep in. Are you hungry? Want me to bring you something to eat?"

"?" Only then did Xu Yan realize that Xu Nian must have boasted to Lu Sen about some melodramatic past like 'my brother suffered the bitter pangs of love with his ex.' He couldn't help laughing, waved his hand, and said, "No need. Good night."

"Good night, Cheri." As if calling him 'darling' wasn't enough, Lu Sen even blew him an audible kiss before heading out the door.

"..." Xu Yan retracted his earlier assessment of Lu Sen as gentle and withdrawn.

"What is it?" After the door closed, Xu Yan's voice cooled slightly as he asked.

Shen Zhi was silent for a moment, then asked: "Is there someone in your room?"

"There was just now. They've left," Xu Yan said. He had no idea why Shen Zhi would ask something so obvious.

Lu Sen's tone of intimacy had been so natural that anyone on the other end of the phone would never have taken them for ordinary colleagues. Shen Zhi clearly paused before asking: "Are you two close?"

Xu Yan exhaled, raked his fingers through his hair with some irritation, and said flatly: "None of your business."

Shen Zhi froze for a moment, unable to give any answer.

"Shen Zhi, are you planning to swap roles with me now, to feel what I felt before?" Xu Yan's tone was not good. He hated this feeling of being shaken again and again after having made up his mind—very much so. He said, "Don't force it. A 1 might turn into a 0, but an s really can't turn into an m."

The moment he finished, he froze himself. He'd meant to express that a person's fundamental nature can't be changed—but what the hell kind of garbage metaphor was that?

But Shen Zhi didn't pay attention to any of that. He let out a very soft sigh, then said quietly: "I just... really wanted to hear your voice, Xu Yan."

Xu Yan was quiet for a few seconds, then hung up the call without a word.

He sat on the bed in a daze, turned to look out—the balcony faced a brilliantly lit canal and the faint snowy mountains beyond. It was beautiful, absurdly beautiful, just like the very real longing he'd clearly heard in Shen Zhi's voice not long ago—absurd.

How could he taste such a feeling from a voice? Across a phone line, such a distance... Even when Shen Zhi had once said he loved him, Xu Yan in his collapse had been unable to feel anything like it. Now it was probably because everything around was so quiet, everything amplified—Xu Yan's anxiety, Shen Zhi's longing.

No more overthinking. It was pointless. Xu Yan got out of bed, washed up, changed into his own pajamas, turned off the light, and went to sleep.

Early the next morning, Xu Yan and his colleagues went to the location first to set up the lighting. Once shooting began, the one holding the Camera was Xu Yan, while Lu Sen only filmed some behind-the-scenes footage on the side. Xu Yan knew Lu Sen was giving him a chance to practice, and the leads, trusting Lu Sen's eye for talent, were cooperative throughout. Xu Yan shot with total focus, feeling neither cold nor tired.

He was glad his hobby could overlap with his career, and grateful to have met a senior like Lu Sen after entering the industry. Without exaggeration, these were the two things that always made him smile when he thought of them.

After shooting several sets at different locations, they wrapped up. When reviewing the raw footage, the leads and other colleagues all said it was quite good. Lu Sen clapped Xu Yan on the shoulder and smiled: "I knew Photographer Xu would deliver."

Toward evening, everyone ate together. The two leads said their goodbyes and headed to the Airport. After the others wrapped, some went to the hot springs, some went shopping. Xu Yan and Lu Sen walked along the canal, bought sweets and souvenirs at Rokka Tei. Night had fallen completely, and it was cold; the two walked back to the hotel.

"I haven't heard of any other celebrities at our hotel, no models either." Lu Sen squinted ahead and suddenly said, "So who is that?"

Xu Yan followed his gaze—the person standing at the hotel entrance was indeed neither a celebrity nor a model, but someone Xu Yan couldn't imagine why would come here.